I’m a kidney transplant patient, and as such, I’m considered extremely clinically vulnerable to the pesky illness that’s doing its world tour.

Wales has been in its third lockdown since December — it’s now January — and patients such as me have once again been advised to “shield” by the government, i.e. not leave the house if you don’t absolutely have to. That’s fine by me; I’ve chosen to continue to shield since the first lockdown anyway.

Our boiler is due for its annual service, and as it’s still reasonably new, the service has to be carried out in order to maintain the warranty. I call the company that we usually use to book it in.

The young lady taking my call is extremely slow at doing so — it’s a bit like dealing with Flash the sloth from “Zootopia” — but all is going smoothly and the service is offered for a few days hence.

Then, we get to the fun part.

Me: “Could you please let the engineer know that I am shielding, so I will require him to wear a mask while in the house and follow precautions?”

Employee: “Oh, do you have any symptoms? We can’t come if you have symptoms.”

Me: “No, I’m not infected; I’m just shielding.”

Employee: “So you’re isolating but no symptoms. I’m not sure if we can come, really.”

Me: “No, I’m not isolating. I’m shielding. I just need the engineer to know that, for safety.”

Employee: “So you’re saying it’s not safe to be in your property? Is someone else there showing symptoms?”

Me: *Getting frustrated* “No, no one here is infected. No one here is isolating. It is completely safe for the engineer to be here. I’m just shielding as I’m vulnerable, so he’ll need to keep away from me.”

Employee: “Oh, you’re vulnerable? Are you elderly? You don’t sound elderly!” *Giggles*

Me: *Ready to scream* “No, I just could get really ill if I catch it. So all I need is for the engineer to be made aware that I am shielding and that he needs to wear a mask at all times. Please!”

Employee: *Sounding more confused* “But you’re not elderly…?”

Me: *Sigh* “No. You don’t have to be elderly to need to shield.”

Employee: “Are you sure you don’t mean you’re isolating? Because we can’t come if you’re isolating.”

Me: *Trying not to yell at her* “Please, just pop on the notes that I’m shielding. Show your boss. If he doesn’t want to send anyone, just call me back. Will that be okay?”

Employee: “Okay, but I’m still not sure.” *Pauses while she types* “How do you spell shielding?”

I just wanted to bang my head against the table. If they weren’t a reliable and reasonably priced company, I’d have given up on that phone call. I was under the impression that shielding was a common enough term in the UK now, but maybe I’m wrong?! Anyway, after all that, the engineer is coming tomorrow. Phew!

My town goes into curfew at 6:00 pm because of the health crisis, and our station decides that this is a good time to cut back on trains. In my job, only [Coworker #1] lives far enough away to have to take the train every night, and when he gets out at 5:00 pm, there is no train for him.

I can hear his supervisor talking to the boss.

Supervisor: “But he leaves at 4:30?”

Boss: “Yes! Temporarily; we are trying to find solutions.”

Supervisor: “Everyone is grumbling because he’s leaving early!”

Boss: “It’s taken off of his days off.”

Supervisor: “But even so, it’s not normal for someone to leave early.”

Boss: “If he goes out on time, he doesn’t have any more trains, and I wouldn’t make him sleep outside, and if we leave him in the offices, we have to have someone to watch over him. Do you agree to stay here tonight?”

The supervisor left and agreed to let him go at 4:30 pm.

Lockdowns have lifted, but I am still very cautious about going out, even though I work retail, so I try to minimize my contact with others as much as I can. However, my dog’s nails have gotten long and I have trouble trimming them, so I have brought her to a local pet store for a quick trim.

I have already paid and dropped her off and am standing off to the side of the grooming salon waiting. I happen to be in direct eyesight of the doors. A man and a woman walk in — one not wearing a mask and the other wearing one but leaving the nose and mouth exposed — and approach me.

Customer: “Cages?”

He has come super close, and like I said, he isn’t wearing a mask properly. 

Me: “Excuse me?”

I guess my tone takes him aback.

Customer: “Oh, you don’t work here?”

Me: “No, and can you please back the f*** up? You are clearly invading my personal space and not wearing a mask properly.”

He started to say something, but at that moment, my dog came out. She is a very large German shepherd mix and can look quite intimidating. She nearly launched herself over the gate after seeing me. Once they saw this very large dog clearly trying to get to me, the two quickly hurried off.

I work at a gym and I’m greeting members at our front desk. A member is leaving and has a few questions. For reference, we were at a level red and have recently moved to level orange for disease prevention, which means we are allowed to up our max capacity.

Member: “Why does it seem busier than it was last week?”

Me: “Since moving to level orange, we were able to increase our capacity.”

Member: “What does that mean?”

Me: “We were running at 10% capacity and now we’re running at 25% capacity.”

Member: “I don’t know what that means.”

Me: “With the level red, we were allowed to have a max of ninety people in the gym at a time. Now, we are allowed to have a max of 180.”

Member: “I still don’t get why that would make it busier.”

Me: *Pauses* “It’s January. Everyone’s here for their New Year’s resolution and this is our peak hour.”

Member: “I still don’t get it, but okay.”

The member leaves and my coworker walks up to me.

Coworker: “I don’t know how else you could have explained that to him.”

I’m the senior assistant manager in a very popular fast food restaurant. Due to the UK’s lockdown, head office has decided for all of our stores in the UK to operate only drive-thru and delivery while they review safety measures. Since my store doesn’t have a drive-thru, we’re currently operating a delivery-only service and have been for over a week at this point.

I answer the phone.

Me: “Good afternoon, [Restaurant].”

Caller: “Hi. Can I speak to a manager, please?”

Me: “Certainly. I’m the senior assistant; how can I help?”

Caller: “I ordered from you guys yesterday and got my food, but when I got home, I realised half of it was missing. I wanted to know what you could do about it.”

We frequently get calls of this nature, and unfortunately, a large number of them are scams just trying to get free food. At this point, I assume good intent, and I wonder if he means he ordered through a nearby store’s drive-thru, so I first clarify the situation.

Me: “Okay, just to confirm, this is the [Restaurant] in the city centre, not [Nearby Store with a drive-thru]. You ordered with us last night?”

Caller: “Yes, that’s right.”

Me: “Okay, and you came inside the store and ordered for takeaway?”

Caller: “Yes.”

Now I know this is someone pulling a fast one, so I decide it’s time to drop the bombshell.

Me: “Ah, well, that’s funny, because we’re currently not taking in-store orders. We’re operating a delivery-only service.”

There’s a slight pause as the customer processes what I said.

Caller: “So, you’re not taking any in-store orders?”

Me: “No, we’re not.”

Caller: “Oh. And you’re the city centre store?”

Me: “That’s right. Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

I assume that will be the end of it, but this guy is persistent.

Caller: “Well, it may have been a couple of days ago, not yesterday.”

Me: “We’ve been operating delivery-only for over a week now.”

Caller: “Well, I came in and ordered from somewhere! Maybe it wasn’t this store. What was the other one you mentioned?”

Me: “[Nearby Store], but they are also currently operating drive-thru and delivery only, no in-store orders.”

Caller: “I’ll have to call other stores and find out if it was them.”

Me: “This is a company-wide decision. None of our stores in the UK are taking in-store orders.”

Caller: “Well, the one I was at did!”

Me: “I can guarantee they weren’t. Is that everything today?”

Caller: *Pauses* “I suppose.”

Me: “Okay, well, thank you, and have a nice day!”

That exchange was the perfect way to cheer me up after a less-than-stellar first half of the shift.