I’m working as an assistant manager of sales in the photo department. A guest bought a camera yesterday; it was a water-, dust-, shock-, and freezeproof model, a very nice camera that I also own myself, being in the Caribbean and all.

The guest comes back the following day, as soon as we open the photo gallery. He shows me the camera, which looks like it was dragged behind the car for a few miles. It is badly scratched all over the body, with a broken LCD screen and lens, missing battery cover, etc. It wasn’t dropped; it was SMASHED.

Guest: “I bought this camera yesterday here and it doesn’t work anymore! I want a new one!”

Me: “Sir, let me inspect the camera.”

I go through the camera and see all the above-mentioned damage.

Me: “Sir, what happened? Did you drop the camera from somewhere? Did it fall under the car or something?”

Guest: “No! I just put it in my bag and this is what happened! I want a new one now!“

Me: “Sorry, but I can’t accept that. This isn’t a factory damage, nor is it covered by the warranty. The camera is damaged quite extensively and I can’t accept it for replacement.”

Guest: “What?! You have to replace it right now! I paid for a working camera and this one isn’t working anymore!”

Me: “Sir, your camera was fine when we took it out of the box and set it up for you. Somehow, you managed to damage it quite extensively and no, we can’t replace it with a new one. Sorry.”

Guest: “I’ll complain! I’ll get you fired for this!”

Of course, the guest goes to the guest services desk, makes a big drama, and complains to officers. Some ten or fifteen minutes later, I get a call from — surprise, surprise — the hotel director.

Hotel Director: “[My Name], I have a guest here complaining that the camera he bought isn’t working and that you don’t want to replace it. He’s really upset. What’s happening?”

Me: “[Hotel Director], please ask the guest to show you his camera.”

Hotel Director: “Hold on.”

I hear the hotel director lowering the phone and talking with the guest. About a minute later, he picks up the phone again.

Hotel Director: “Hey, [My Name], I see what you mean. It’s all right; I’ll deal with him. Thanks and sorry.”

The guest got a free dinner for two in a specialty restaurant but no new camera. The hotel director and I always shared a good laugh when we talked about it afterward.

It’s the summer of 1993 and my mother and I are on a cruise on [Now-Defunct Cruise Line]. Mom is in one of the theaters enjoying one of those Vegas-type shows, and I’m wandering around the various decks, just checking things out, looking for my own entertainment.

I notice that one of the many bars has karaoke, and since I enjoy singing — and some folks tell me I’m pretty good at it — I decide, what the hey? It’s a small but nice place, with few people, so I’m not too intimidated. I usually am when performing for crowds, but I figure I don’t know any of these people, so why should I care?

I choose a song by Anne Murray, “Could I Have This Dance?” since it’s in my range and I’m comfortable with it. The bar pipes the current singer and music outside so people walking by can hear it, and the whole wall facing the deck is faintly-tinted glass.

About a minute or so into the song, I notice an elderly couple walk past, stop, listen, and begin slow-dancing together, smiling. This encourages me and warms my heart, and I focus on them for the rest of the song.

When I’m done, I leave the bar to greet them and thank them for the confidence boost. They, in turn, thank me for my performance. They are celebrating their anniversary, and that song was their first dance.

I don’t remember much else about that cruise, but that’s one memory I’ll treasure forever.

This story was included in our May 2020 Inspirational Roundup.

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(It is the 1980s. My parents have been invited by some friends of theirs to go on a cruise. My dad is exploring the ship when he is approached by an elderly couple. Note: my dad is currently wearing white pants and a white jacket over his shirt.)

Elderly Woman: “Excuse me, can you tell us how to get to the pool?”

Dad: “I don’t know. I’m on vacation, too.”

(The woman huffs and walks away, and says to her husband:)

Elderly Woman: “The nerve of that guy, wearing white on a cruise ship.”

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(I have treated my mother to a cruise round the Aegean as a retirement present. The whole experience has been amazing with superb service all around. However, as we all know too well, there are some who would complain in Paradise. At lunch one day, we are sitting with one such woman. She’s complaining that her cabin doesn’t have a porthole — despite the fact that she obviously didn’t pay the extra I did for such a cabin — and that she has been denied an upgrade — despite the fact that we were greeted on board by a large sign saying that the ship was fully booked and there were no upgrades available — and on and on and on. Finally…)

Me: “Well, the only complaint I have is the pathetic excuse for a breakfast on the flight out here. I can’t wait to see what the lamb dinner’s like on the flight home.”

Woman: “How do you know you’re getting lamb?”

Mother: “He was given a choice and chose lamb.”

Woman: “Well, I wasn’t given a choice. Nobody asked me if I wanted lamb. I detest lamb. I can’t stand it and if they try to give me lamb, I shall get off!”

(Lady, at 35,000 feet, I’ll hold the door for you.)

(I am on a cruise, at the bar buying a drink. I’m not a big drinker and want to pace myself.)

Me: “Could I have a Mojito, but could you only use half a nip of rum, please?”

Bartender: “Sorry, what did you say?”

Me: “A Mojito with half a nip of rum.”

Bartender: “I don’t understand ‘half a nip.’”

Me: “A nip is 30 ml, half is 15 ml.”

Bartender: “I know that, but what do you mean?”

Me: “I mean I want half the amount of rum that usually goes into Mojito.”

Bartender: “Oh, my God, sorry. I’m just so used to people asking for more alcohol; you’re the first to ask for less.”