Unfiltered Story #168394

, | Unfiltered | September 27, 2019

Stupid questions I get from guests:
I am a librarian onboard a passenger cruise ship. Here is some of the most stupid questions that I get:
Is this the library? Yes. Do you sell dental floss?
Are you the librarian? Yes. Where is the toilet?
Elderly gentleman: Have you seen my wife?
Young lady: Where can I get off?

Unfiltered Story #163305

, , | Unfiltered | September 18, 2019

(I work as a bartender on a cruise ship. I’m a 27 year old female.)
Me: “Hi, how may I help you today?”
Customer (in sunglasses and hat): “A [set meal for two], please.”
Me: “Coming up! Are you sharing with anyone?”
Customer, whipping glasses, hat and fake beard to reveal it to be my boyfriend: “You, [my name]!”
Me: “Oh my god, [boyfriend], you’re so silly!”
Boyfriend: “Yes, I am. *whips out small ring box* And here, in the middle of the ocean, I want to ask you a question, [my name]. I have been your partner for four and a half years, and I can’t imagine my life without you now. You’ve helped me through life, and I have helped you. [my name], will you marry me?”
Me: *shocked, in awe, crying and laughing* “Yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!”
(My boyfriend-turned-fiance places the ring on my finger and kisses me. A few of our friends come out with balloons, flowers and a camera, all cheering. We are all having a blast exchanging greetings and taking pictures, when this happens.)
Female customer (a bit older than me): “You f****** b****! You are SO unworthy of him! I was gonna get him, stupid w****! You are such a boyfriend-stealing s***!”
(I am shocked and confused, I had never seen her in my life apart from briefly on the cruise. As people are calling security and looking at her, she suddenly lunges at me, rips off my ring and places it on her own finger. She proceeds to try and assault me, grabbing me by the arm and shaking me.)
Boyfriend: “What the f***! I have never seen you in my life, crazy b****! Thanks to you, the proposal is absolutely ruined!”
Security: “Alright, miss, that’s enough. Come with us and give the ring back to [my name], please.”
Female Customer: “F*** you all!”
(I watch in horrified shock as she throws my ring overboard, into the ocean. Everyone is infuriated, but too shocked to do anything.)
Me: *whimpers* “My ring…”
(Security hauls the crazy customer away in handcuffs, all the while her screaming that I am not worthy of a man like that, and she should be the one with him! I eventually got a new ring, courtesy of the crazy customer, but I made sure to keep it discreet and be VERY, VERY careful with it.

Give Her Some Information About How Lines Work  

, , | Right | September 9, 2019

(I am in the line for the information desk on a cruise ship. Behind me are at least ten more people. Just as it is my turn, an older woman cuts the line in front of me.)

Woman: “I want to…”

Employee: “I’m sorry, you’re going to have to wait in line.”

Woman: “But I just want information!”

Employee: *looks at all of us standing and waiting there* “Yeah, well, so do they.”

(The woman turned to stare at us and, grumbling, she went to wait in the now even longer line.)

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Owls Aren’t Meant For Oversea Voyages

, , , , , | Right | June 5, 2019

My better half booked a two-week cruise for us both. She is fastidious when it comes to paperwork. We board after showing our tickets and are directed to our room.

While we are unpacking, there’s a knock on the door. We open it to see one of the cruise workers and a lady. The lady reminds me of an owl by the way she is peeking around the employee, looking into my room. I shut the door a tad so she can’t peer in, and I am informed that there seems to be an issue with the booking.

The employee asks if I could make my way to the purser’s desk with any paperwork we may have. We get the folder containing the paperwork and I head off with Mrs. Owl to get this sorted.

After ten minutes of listening to Mrs. Owl complain how unprofessional everything is, we get to the front of the line and are asked by the purser for any documentation we may have to help clear up the matter.

I hand her the folder saying, “This is every piece of correspondence between my partner, me, and your company, in chronological order starting with my partner’s first inquiry up until yesterday morning confirming our room number.”

The purser looks to Mrs. Owl. Mrs. Owl hands her a sticky note with a handwritten number on it.

Ten minutes later, I’m back in my room with my feet up drinking an extremely alcoholic cocktail.

Not sure what happened to the Owls.

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Reached My T-Total For Rich Snobs

, , , | Friendly | December 21, 2018

(I am on a cruise ship. I get on an elevator that has a teenage girl and two women in it, with one of the women looking a bit more prim and proper than the other. Based on something they say as I enter, I assume it is a girl, her mother, and her upscale aunt.)

Aunt: “So, why was your husband wearing a t-shirt?”

Mother: “Because tonight is a casual night for dinner.”

Aunt: *in a serious, almost offended tone* “T-shirts aren’t casual; t-shirts are for the poor!”

(I manage not to laugh. The door opens and they get off. As the door closes I hear the mother say, “We were just talking about your shirt…”)

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