Prescribing Some Honesty

, , , | Right | May 4, 2018

(I work in the pharmacy of a large drug store chain. A few weeks prior to this incident, a man came in and was acting twitchy. He eventually shoved some greeting cards down his pants and put a beer in his pocket before leaving. Shoplifting is hard to prove, but we got it on camera. On a day I am working, he comes back in with some prescriptions. I start putting them in; I have no idea about the previous incident.)

Lead Tech: “Stop! Don’t fill his stuff. [Manager] said since we got him stealing on camera, we can ask him to leave.”

(He goes to alert the pharmacist of the situation.)

Pharmacist: “[Shoplifter]! I am sorry, but I can’t fill this prescription for you.”

Shoplifter: “Why not? I need my medicine.”

Pharmacist: “Sir, last time you were in, we caught you stealing on camera, and we are choosing not to serve you. Please take your prescriptions elsewhere.” *hands him back his papers*

Shoplifter: *takes them* “It was only a beer!”

(He did end up taking his prescriptions and leaving, and the pharmacist filled me in on the previous incident. We were all so shocked that he admitted to stealing, and then also tried to act like it was okay!)

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Smuggling Thin Mints Into Prison

, , , | Right | April 30, 2018

(I’m a girl scout, selling cookies right outside the front doors of a grocery store with one of my friends. Suddenly, I hear shouting, and I watch as one of the cashiers tackles a guy running out of the store with a bottle of soda. A few minutes later, a cop shows up.)

Friend: “Did that guy seriously just try to steal a soda?”

Me: “I… think so?”

(The cop comes out with the criminal, now in handcuffs.)

Me: *to the criminal* “Hey, want to buy some cookies?”

Criminal: “Maybe next year, girls!”

(Before putting the criminal in her car, the cop just glares at me.)

Friend: *laughs*

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No ID, No Idea, Part 35

, , , , , | Right | April 28, 2018

(I work in a small convenience store that is family-owned. We’re located out in the country, so most of our customers also live in the country or are families traveling. We get a lot of teenagers that think that, since we’re out of town, we don’t hold up rules as in-town stores would. A very young-looking man comes up to the counter with a case of beer.)

Customer #1: “I need this and [Snuff Brand].”

Me: “Sure thing. May I see an ID?”

Customer #1: *looking shocked* “What? Don’t I look 21?”

Me: “I’ll be honest; you look 15. But either way, I have to ID everyone that looks under 40.”

Customer #1: “Well… uh… I don’t have my ID on me, but it doesn’t matter. It’s not for me. It’s for my grandpa. He’s in a wheelchair and can’t drive.”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry, but even if it’s not for you, I can’t sell to you.” *I take the case of beer and put it behind me to restock later* “Again, sorry. Have a good night.”

(He stammers, trying to find an excuse, but walks back out to his truck and just sits there, talking to anyone that passes by him. Then, a regular of mine comes in after the boy stops him. He grabs the same type of beer and comes to the counter.)

Customer #2: “Can I also get [Snuff Brand]?”

Me: “Sorry, I saw that boy talk to you after failing to show ID for these same things, so I’m going to have to refuse today. I don’t think either of us want to go to jail.”

Customer #2: “All right, no problem. See you later.”

(A couple hours go by and another young man comes in and walks straight to my counter.)

Customer #3: “Can I get [Cigarette Brand]?”

Me: “Do you have an ID?”

Customer #3: *with a confident smile* “Oh, it’s not for me. It’s for my grandpa back home.”

Me: *jokingly* “Let me guess. He’s in a wheelchair and can’t drive.”

Customer #3: “Yeah! How’d you know?”

Me: *long pause* “Without a legal ID, I can’t sell to you. Sorry, have a good night.”

(He leaves, looking defeated, but I notice he is in the same truck as [Customer #1]. It’s now an hour before closing. A police officer is chatting with me and just hanging out to make sure I’m all right as I shut everything down. He generally stands off around the side to stay out of the way, which in turn means he’s not usually noticed right away. A truck pulls in. It’s the one the boys were in earlier. I quickly give the officer an overview of what’s been going on. Then, yet another young man exits the truck, comes in, and walks to my counter.)

Customer #4: “I need a [Snuff Brand] and a case of [Beer]. It’s for my grandpa; he can’t drive himself here.”

Me: *mentally beating him already* ” Do… you… have… an ID?”

Customer #4: “Yup. Here you go.”

(I take the ID. And he looks similar to the picture, but enough to look like a brother. But it’s also law to have the person state their age aloud as a precaution when checking ID. According to the year on the ID, he should be 25.)

Me: “All right, can you state your age?”

Customer #4: “…23?”

Me: “All right… Obviously you and your friends think I’m stupid. All of you have come in here trying to buy alcohol or tobacco, and to make it worse, I keep getting the same story of a sick grandfather. Now you bring me a fake ID. I can’t confiscate this, but you or your friends come in here again tonight, I’m sure a police officer would love to hear about how badly an old man in a wheelchair needs a beer. Have a good night.”

Customer #4: “I don’t know what you’re talking about! That’s not a fake ID! You just can’t do math! That’s probably why you work here and not at a real job, you dumb b****! Now sell it to me or I’ll get you fired!”

(The police officer now steps around the corner to be clearly seen.)

Officer: “Hi. Maybe I can help?”

(He bolted out so quickly he hit his face on the door because he was running faster than it would open. The officer told me later that he was arrested after he tried the same thing at a different store, became unruly, and refused to leave without his beer. Nights like that make me so happy that I’m about to finish school and that my job field will not include entitled con ”artists.”)

No ID, No Idea, Part 34
No ID, No Idea, Part 33
No ID, No Idea, Part 32

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A Ticket To Getting Kicked Out

, , , , | Right | April 26, 2018

(I work in a single-screen movie theater located in a former live, stage theatre that was built in the 1920s. My friend’s dad is retired, but works about 25 hours a week as an usher. Frequently, a teenager will buy a ticket and come in and sit down. At an opportune moment, they will get up, sneak over to the side or rear entrance, and open the door to allow five or six of their friends to get in without paying. One evening, my friend’s dad sees a kid get up and head in that direction, so he goes around the other way and waits at the end of the corridor. Sure enough, the kid comes by, opens the back door, and lets in six friends. Just as all these kids get through the door, my friend’s dad comes up to stop them.)

Usher: “Stop right there, all of you. Out of the theater, now!”

(The kid who let everyone in shouts at him:)

Kid: “But I have a ticket! You have to let me back in!”

Usher: “No, I don’t, kid. You violated policy by allowing all your friends in this door. Get out.”

Kid: *shouting* “Oh, yeah?! Well, I’ve got a ticket to this show.” *while waving the ticket at him* “You have to let me back in, because I paid for this ticket.”

Usher: “No, I don’t. Get out now!”

Kid: “Well, screw you, old man. I’m going to get a cop and tell him you won’t let me in after I bought a ticket!”

Usher: “Oh, so you want a cop, huh?” *turns around and shouts* “Hey, [Cop]! Come here a minute. One of these kids would like a word with you!”

(Around the corner comes [Cop], a 6’4″, muscular, burly city police officer, who stares down the entire crowd of teenagers:)

Cop: “So, you boys have a problem, huh? Would you like me to come with you, to discuss what you did with your mama?”

(After a few seconds of shocked silence, one of them finally says:)

Other Kid: “Oh, uh, no, that’s okay! I guess we’re good.”

(He said he’d never seen a group of teens bolt out of the building so fast!)

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This Isn’t A Shaggy Dog Story

, , , , | Friendly | April 20, 2018

(I am outside doing some yard work, when one of my neighbors stops by on her walk to say hello.)

Neighbor: “Hi, [My Name]!”

Me: “Good morning, [Neighbor]! How are you?”

Neighbor: “I’m just fine. Did you hear about the break-in over at that new neighbourhood? It’s just a couple miles down the road from us!”

Me: “No! That’s awful. When was that?”

Neighbor: “A few days ago. I guess they knew no one was home, because they tried prying the front door open with a crowbar in broad daylight!”

Me: “Oh, my God! Wait… How do you know they used a crowbar? Were there security cameras?”

Neighbor: “Well, there was a camera, but what happened was that the homeowner’s German shepherd scared the thief so badly he dropped the crowbar and took off! When they got home their dog was just sitting there next to a partially-opened door and a crowbar. He waited there the whole time until they got back, and nothing was missing from the house.”

Me: “Wow! I bet that guy won’t try that house again.”

Neighbor: “German shepherds can be very persuasive.”

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