Giving Pretty Black Girls A Bad Name

, , , , , | Right | June 4, 2018

(I am working at a bar in small part of town when a man, visibly drunk already, talks to one of my coworkers.)

Drunk Dude: “You guys got any [extremely pricey Vodka]?”

Coworker: “No, we don’t, sir, and we won’t be serving you.”

Drunk Dude: “Do you know who the f*** I am, you little b****?!”

Coworker: “No, I don’t, and I don’t care. I am going to have to ask you to leave.”

(I have my hand on the phone and am ready to call the cops.)

Drunk Dude: “I am the prettiest black woman you have ever seen!”

(He then proceeded to punch my coworker in the face, full-force, knocking her out. I was able to hide until he left, and I called the cops. They found him three blocks away, trying to beat up a bird!)

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Abandoning Store Policy

, , , , | Right | May 31, 2018

(I am working in the electronics section of the toy store. A little kid is playing the video games we have out to demo. We assume that a man that is also in this section is his father. The man comes up to the register to buy his items.)

Child: “GOD F****** D*** IT!”

(My coworker and I look at each other, shocked at his language.)

Coworker: “Sir, is that your child?”

Customer: “That isn’t my kid. If he was, I would drag him out of the store.”

Me: *walks up to the child* “Are your parents in the store?”

Child: “My mom knows where I am.”

Me: “That’s good, but are your parents in the store? We don’t allow parents to leave their children alone in different departments; may I ask your mother’s name?”

(After having to talk to the rude child, I finally get the mother’s name. We call her to our department and she storms over as fast as she can, annoyed that we won’t let her leave her child in our department alone. My manager also comes down to the department, knowing there will probably be an angry mother yelling at us.)

Mother: “I don’t understand what the big deal is; he’s here playing video games like I told him to!”

Me: “I am sorry, ma’am, but we had no way of knowing this, and our store policy states that you cannot leave your kid alone in our store; he has to be with his parent. Plus, your child was swearing in our store around other children. We had no way of knowing if you had just left him in our store and walked around the mall, or if you had just abandoned him here.”

Mother: “Where does it say that? I think you just made it up so you wouldn’t have to look after my child in this department.”

Manager: “We have signs set up at every entrance, and we have signs set up all throughout the store. You are standing right beside one. I am sorry, ma’am, but my employees are not your personal babysitters. If it were me instead of [My Name], I would have called someone to report an abandoned child, which is what we are supposed to do in an event like this.”

Mother: “That’s a pile of horses***! My child is staying here, and I am continuing my shopping.”

(The mother then proceeds to turn around to continue her shopping.)

Manager: “I’m sorry, miss, but you are ignoring our store policy, and leaving your child unattended. If you do not take your child with you, then we have no choice but to assume you are abandoning your child, so you can either take your child with you as you continue shopping, or you and your child can leave our store and you will not be welcome back.”

(The mother ignored my manager and left her child in the electronics section. We actually had to call someone because she left our store and was gone for more than two hours walking through other stores in the mall. We never saw her or her child in our store again.)

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This Wedding Has Some Arrested Development

, , , , | Legal | May 25, 2018

I work third shift for a medium-sized hotel. Around three am, while doing security rounds, I find a guest room door open. From the doorway I can see one of the lamps and the phone are broken and strewn about the room, and there is no guest in the room.

The room also appears to have been ransacked, clothes and personal belongings thrown all over. I call the desk and have them call local police, and stand by until a officer arrives.

Ten minutes later the officer and I enter the room. He finds pills and marijuana on the table. While the officer is investigating, a guy eating a powdered doughnut and wearing nothing but underwear comes to the door. The officer asks him if he is the occupant of the room and the guy just grunts at the officer, enters the room, puts on a pair of pants, and crawls into the bed.

He refuses to follow the officer’s directions and is detained. The guy starts yelling and swearing while in the meantime, a second officer arrives, as well as the guy’s girlfriend and father. The father explains that they are at the hotel for his daughter’s wedding and I need to make the officers go away.

After being screamed at that I am destroying his daughter’s wedding, he wants to know how much it is going to cost to get the officers to go away while pulling his wallet out. One of the officers informs him that what he is planning to do could land him right next to his son at the jail. The father then wants to speak to the general manager who I have already called and is on his way in.

Normally, we would have filed a police report and that would have been the end, but both the son and the father had caused such a ruckus that the son was trespassed and the police charged him with obstruction and possession of more than a pound of pot. The father was removed from property the next night because he got drunk at his daughter’s wedding and became abusive with not only hotel staff but also his family members. His excuse for his actions was that the hotel was working with the government to ruin his daughter’s wedding because he knows too much.

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Not Even Close, No Cigar

, , , , | Right | May 24, 2018

(My town has recently enacted a carding regulation that requires everyone purchasing alcohol or tobacco products to have a valid picture ID. There is one customer in front of me and one behind me. The man behind me is dressed in his police uniform and his radio is occasionally crackling, making his presence very obvious.)

Customer #1: “I’d like to buy these cigars.”

Cashier: “Okay, I just need to see some ID.”

Customer #1: “They’re cigars; why do I need ID?”

Cashier: “We must card everyone who purchases tobacco products.”

Customer #1: “But I look over 18.”

Cashier: “Yes, but we must card everyone attempting to purchase alcohol or tobacco products.”

Customer #1: “That’s stupid. Cigars aren’t tobacco products.”

Cashier: “I’m sorry, sir, but they are. Cigars contain tobacco, making them a tobacco product, and I must see a valid ID before I can sell them to you.”

Customer #1: “But they’re cigars. The tobacco doesn’t stay in them; you take it out and fill it with weed.”

Cashier: “Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

Customer #1: “Not without my cigars.”

(This goes on for several minutes.)

Customer #2: “Sir, I suggest you leave before I decide you have given me probable cause to search your person.”

Customer #1: “Not until she sells me the cigars. I’m over 18, and I don’t want to smoke the tobacco, anyway.”

Me: “You realize it is still illegal in the state of Missouri to smoke marijuana, right?”

Customer #1: “Yeah, but that’s why you put them in cigars. The cops can’t figure it out.”

Me: “You’re kidding, right?” *I hook my thumb at the man behind me* “You just told everyone in the store you were going to empty them out and fill them with pot. That includes him.”

Customer #1: “Oh, here’s my ID.”

(He bought his cigars and walked out of the store. [Customer #2] put his purchases on the counter and followed him out. As I left, [Customer #1] was arguing with the police officer about the morality of marijuana being illegal.)

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A Beautiful Siren Song

, , , , | Right | May 23, 2018

(Our auto insurance call center shuts down at 10:00 pm everyday. It is 9:55 pm.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Call Center]. My name is [My Name]. How may I help you today?”

Customer: “I don’t care who you are. I hope this is being recorded. I have called in multiple times and no one has helped me yet!”

Me: “I apologize for your experience, sir. If you want, I can get my manager on the phone to help you out.”

Customer: “No, you will do my claim and no one else.”

Me: “All righty then, sir. Let’s get started.”

(I continue to take his information to finish his claim. We are one step from being completed with his claim when I hear the customer cursing someone else out on the other side of the line and then a loud bang.)

Me: “Sir, is everything, okay?”

Customer: “Why are you worried about what’s going on over here? Aren’t you supposed to be taking my information for the claim?”

Me: “Sir, I heard a loud bang and was just wanting to make sure everything or everyone was all right.”

Customer: “Mind your own d*** business, you piece of s***!”

(Little do I know that my manager is shadowing my call and has already called the police to trace the number.)

Manager: *pulls one earphone off my head and mutes my call* “Keep him on the phone for a few more minutes.”

Customer: “Excuse me, are you even listening? I thought it was your job to take my call,and listen to what I say, and take my information.”

Me: “I have been listening, sir, and we have one more step to do. Here are the dates that are available to get your vehicle in the shop.” *tells customer the dates* “Which would work best for you?”

Customer: “Let’s go with [date].” *sirens in the background*

Me: “Thank you, sir. Would you like this information to be sent to you via email or via text?”

Customer: “Here’s my phone number for the text. I have to go now; I’m in trouble.”

Me: “Thank you for calling [Call Center]. Again my name is [My Name], and I hope you have a wonderful and blessed day, sir.”

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