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As A Mustang Fan, I’m Confused By This Choice

, , , , | Legal | July 26, 2021

I work in an escape room. A grandfather and granddaughter come in and do two rooms. About seven minutes into the room:

Grandfather: “Hey, I can’t see; I don’t have my glasses on me. Can you get them from the car?”

Granddaughter: “Sure.”

She goes downstairs to get the glasses and can’t find them, so she drives home to get them. It’s been some time and the grandfather comes up to me.

Grandfather: “Do you know where my granddaughter went?”

I tell him that she drove home to get the glasses, and he starts panicking because he gave her the keys to the car and has no way of getting home.

Me: “She took off in a Mitsubishi.”

Grandfather: “I don’t drive a Mitsubishi; I drive a Mustang.”

We went downstairs and saw the Mustang parked in the street. This girl STOLE A CAR FROM A BUSINESS BELOW WHERE I WORK. She came back, and the owner of the car came outside, freaking out. She took the car because the man’s keys were in the car. This girl is apparently bipolar and must’ve been manic and just went for a joyride in the car to get her grandfather’s glasses. The cops came and talked to everyone except me, and the man didn’t press charges because nothing was missing nor was the car damaged.

The granddaughter and grandfather drove away and I was left here dying from laughter because this was the best thing that I’d ever seen working at an escape room!

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If There’s A Tournament He’s The Jester

, , , , , , | Right | July 22, 2021

Our comic shop is located in a busy section of downtown. During the weekends, people will try and park in our small lot to go to other stores or just walk around. We have a sign stating that we will tow off non-customer cars. I am working on a busy Saturday when I see a man park and begin walking in the opposite direction of the store. I walk out and flag him down before he gets far.

Me: “SIR! You can’t park here if you’re not a customer! You’ll have to either move to another lot or use the city parking garage down the street.”

Older Man: “Miss, I am not going to be long. I’ll be back in a few hours. I’m sure your store will survive my car being there.”

We have a tournament starting soon and our lot WILL fill up very quickly.

Me: “We actually need that spot. We have a tournament starting soon and—”

Older Man: “That’s nice. I really don’t care.”

He walks off. I go back into the store fuming.

Me: “Hey, [Owner], that guy is going to be taking that spot up for hours. What do you want to do?”

Owner: “You know the number. Call the tow truck.”

I smile evilly and call the towing company. They arrive in half an hour and tow off the vehicle. We have their business card for when this happens. The tournament starts soon after his vehicle is removed and is in full swing a few hours later when we see the old man come back, looking around where his car used to be. He comes stomping inside, face red.

Older Man: “You! You f****** b****! Where is my car?!”

Me: “Towed, about three hours ago. Here’s the card for the company.”

I handed over the card for the towing company, and he simply took it with one shaking hand and walked out. Right as he got outside, he let out this roar of rage, grabbed the plastic trash can we keep out front, and threw it at the window. Since the window is plexiglass, the can just bounced off the window and rolled back to the man’s feet. The entire store was quiet for a moment, and then someone started to giggle. Soon, we were all laughing, fake roaring, and pointing at how stupid he looked. He flipped us off and stormed off, never to be seen again.


This story is part of our Best Of July 2021 roundup!

Read the next Best Of July 2021 roundup story!

Read the Best Of July 2021 roundup!

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Hop On Your Bike And Race Far Away From This Guy

, , , , | Legal | July 22, 2021

I’m a woman who races motocross as a semi-professional. Most of my free time and money go into racing, building, and repairing bikes and traveling to races.

At work one day, a new coworker starts up. He’s an attractive man and we get along well. We talk at work whenever we’re on break or lunch together, and soon, we start texting outside of work. After a few months, he gets a job offer at another business and leaves our employer, and now that we’re not coworkers, we start casually dating. Our relationship starts during the motocross off-season, so although I’ve told him everything about my hobby, it doesn’t take too much time away from our relationship.

Then, race season starts. I’m back to working on my bikes every night, traveling for races every weekend, and generally living the life of my dreams. My boyfriend, however, is not so thrilled with the amount of time apart, even though I invite him to travel with me every weekend. Eventually, he gives me an ultimatum: him or motocross. I choose motocross and we split up. I know he’s not happy, but his reaction goes way farther than I ever would have imagined.

I get home from a race weekend and the door to my race shop is hanging off the hinges. I open the door as quietly as possible, turn on the overhead floodlights, and fall to pieces when I see that everything in my shop has been destroyed.

Unfortunately for the guilty party, I have quite a few security cameras in and around my shop because, with that much valuable equipment, I didn’t want to take any chances. The video shows my ex-boyfriend and two of his friends smashing in the shop door with a sledgehammer and then going nuts in my shop with the hammer and two axes.

I take the footage to the police and file a lawsuit against the three culprits. I win my case easily, and while the money isn’t enough to replace everything in my shop, it is a nice addition to the insurance payout. My ex and his friends are also charged with breaking and entering and vandalism and are eventually found guilty by a jury and sentenced to a few months in prison.

On the bad side, I end up having to take the rest of the race season off to focus on rebuilding my shop, and I end up losing a few sponsors because I’m not racing.

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Ah, Parents, Part 4

, , , , , | Right | July 21, 2021

I work at a large retail store chain. A regular customer comes in.

Customer: “You guys always help me with what I need!”

Me: “We try!”

Customer: “I know, and I thank you for that. But I need you to watch my kid while I shop at [Rival Store].”

Me: “Um, no, sorry, that’s not something we can do.”

Customer: “Oh, is it because I’m not shopping here today?”

Me: “No, even if you were shopping here today, we still couldn’t watch your son for you.”

Customer: *Turning red* “I need a babysitter while I shop, and my last one just quit on me!”

Me: “I’m sorry about that, but we could get in trouble because we aren’t a licensed daycare. You have to take him with you.”

Customer: “I don’t care! I’m leaving him here. I’ll only be gone for two hours at the most. Just watch him and feed him if you need to! He likes breast milk, and it looks like you have plenty. Now, goodbye!”

She stormed off. I called my manager and told her the situation. She didn’t believe me at first, but I told her to go watch the cameras. She did, and when she came back, she was on the phone with the police. Meanwhile, the kid was starting to realize that his mom had just left him, and he was starting to get upset. We called over a couple of employees to watch him until the police arrived.

They arrived quickly, and they watched the cameras, too. I told them the regular customer’s name and where she told me she’d be, along with the name of his father, who is also a regular. They managed to reach him on his cell phone and tell him the situation. He came to pick the child up, and I later learned the mother was arrested for abandonment and child endangerment. She’s been banned from our store, but we sometimes go to the same gas station, and she gives me the finger every time!

Related:
Ah, Parents, Part 3
Ah, Parents, Part 2
Ah, Parents

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Maybe He Misunderstood “Money Laundering”

, , , , | Legal | July 20, 2021

Back when I was in university, twenty years ago, the college I attended had a student laundrette in the basement of one of the buildings. There were prominent notices stating that the laundrette was monitored by CCTV, and indeed a campus urban legend that the porters sold tapes of couples who got rather too close there on weekends.

This didn’t stop one enterprising young man who blew through his student loan in record time and found himself out of money a few weeks into his first term. He hit upon the brilliant idea of using what little funds he had left to buy a crowbar and then going down one evening to force the coin boxes on the machines.

This played out precisely how you’d expect: he was spotted almost immediately, and one of the porters locked the one access door of the laundrette while another called the police. When the criminal less-than-mastermind tried to leave, he found the door locked against him, and before he could resort to more drastic action, the police arrived to let him out and take him somewhere nice and quiet for the night.

He was, of course, expelled for his actions, and for the rest of the term, the main beneficiary of the bungled robbery was a nearby private laundrette that was more than happy to take students’ washing while the college laundrette was closed for repairs.

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