The Need For Speed(ing)

, , , , , , | Friendly | April 8, 2019

(We are in front of a town hall before a civil baptism and we meet another guest, a travelling salesman, whom we know to be a Sunday driver.)

Father: “I hope you didn’t drive too fast!”

Guest: “No, I was careful today.”

Guest’s Girlfriend: “That’s because there are only three points left on his license.”

(The French driving license is on twelve points. A number of points are lost in addition to the fine depending on the offence.)

My Mother: “Be careful; the driving license is essential for your job.”

Guest: “Oh, I talked to a police friend. To avoid any problems, I can buy another residence in Belgium and take the necessary steps to get a Belgian driving license. They don’t have a license with a penalty point system, so if I present the Belgian license to the French police, I’ll lose no points; I’ll just get the fine.”

My Father: “But wouldn’t it be easier just to respect speed limits?”

Can’t Face Up To The Prices

, , , , , | Right | April 7, 2019

(I work at a pharmacy in a low-income neighborhood. Our prices are fairly high compared to what our local clientele can actually afford, and most of our customers either only shop for the items on sale or take the bus up the road a few miles to a grocery store. We’ve tried to get corporate to lower our prices, but they refuse to see reason. On this day, a young man enters the store and asks for assistance locating a high-end facial soap. I help him find it and we bring it to my register to cash him out.)

Me: “All right, your total comes to $15.”

Customer: *hands me cash, six dollars less than he needs to pay*

Me: “Oh… Oops! You handed me $9. Did you mean to give me a ten instead of one of the one-dollar bills?”

Customer: “That’s all I have.” *looks at me expectantly*

Me: “Um… okay. I can hold the item here if you want to go get more money. Or we can go look for something that isn’t so expensive.”

Customer: “I don’t have any more money. That’s all I have.”

Me: “Okay, well, let’s go look at the other products. I’m sure we can find something in your price range.”

Customer: *getting agitated* “No! I want that one. I need it for my acne!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but you only have $9. The product is $15. You either need to bring me more money or find something else.”

Customer: “But I want that one.”

Me: “Then you’ll need to go home and get more money. I can hold it back here so you don’t have to find it again.”

Customer: “I already said I ain’t got more money!”

Me: “Well, then, I’m sorry, but you can’t buy this item.”

Customer: “BUT I WANT IT! I NEED IT FOR MY ACNE!”

(We go back and forth for several minutes, and the customer is getting more and more angry. Eventually, I’ve had enough.)

Me: “There’s nothing more I can do for you if you can’t afford this item and don’t want anything else.”

(The young man tries to snatch the item off the counter, but I grab it first.)

Me: “Sir, you cannot have something you have not paid for. That’s stealing. Either purchase something or please leave.”

Customer: “F*** YOU!” *storms out*

(I inform my manager of the incident, including that the young man tried to grab the soap and bolt.)

Manager: *looks at product* “This isn’t even for acne! It’s for treating extremely dry skin, like psoriasis and eczema! There’s so much grease in this soap it would have made his acne worse.”

Me: “I guess it’s a good thing I was quicker than him. He probably would have used it, then tried to return it saying it wasn’t working. This isn’t the first time a customer has tried to swipe an unpaid order off the counter and run out.”

Manager: “I think we’ll start keeping unpaid purchases in the bag-well.” *the recessed area in front of the cashier that holds the plastic bags, which is out of reach of the customer*

(The young man never came back, and with our new policy of keeping unpaid transactions out of the customers’ reach, we’ve had a lot fewer attempts to grab “purchases” and run out. I hope corporate listens to us and lowers prices soon.)

Self-Tipped

, , , , , , | Legal | April 6, 2019

My husband and I went out to eat at a wings restaurant. We had a great meal, paid, and left. My husband has a tendency to forget things, so I always go through the same spiel anytime we go anywhere. Do you have your phone? Keys? Wallet? Sure enough, he had left his wallet at the restaurant.

We went back and they brought it out to us from lost and found. My husband looked inside to see if everything was there, and there was a $100 bill missing. The week prior was his birthday, and his coworker/mentor gave him $100 as a gift. My husband had been saving it to buy a nice jacket, which we were going shopping for later that day, so I know for sure the money was in the wallet.

When we realized that the money was gone, we asked for a manager. We pointed out the waitress, who denied taking it. We asked to see the cameras, but the manager said in order for us to watch them we had to file a police report, but he himself watched the video and said he saw no one open the wallet. I don’t know if he really watched the video, though, because he didn’t seem to be gone long enough. At this point, we were at a loss of what to do, and the manager was acting as if we were lying and asked us to leave.

We did call the police, but it was going to be a lot of red tape to get them involved, and my husband was so angry he just said forget it. I think the waitress took the wallet away from the cameras, anyway, to take the money.

The very next morning, I got a call from our bank asking if we had tried to purchase a really expensive gaming system online. The charge had occurred the night before and was declined. No, it was not us; neither of us plays video games. We had to cancel our card and get a new one issued, and I am positive that the waitress must have written down the card info from my husband’s wallet. After reading stories on NotAlwaysRight, I can totally see how the manager thought we were trying to scam them. But sometimes, the customers aren’t lying.

A Spectacle Of A Robbery

, , , , , | Legal | April 5, 2019

(I work at an opticians with my mum, who’s the manager. In the middle of the shop is a large rack of sunglasses. The dummy lenses in the frames are tinted like sunglasses for people to try on, but there’s a price sticker on each of them, as well as the words, “Suitable for prescription lenses,” embossed in white font. Because of the embossing, they’re not normally a target for thieves because you can’t wear them with the text there… or so we thought. It’s the middle of the day and the store is quite busy; a coworker is stood in front of the rack acting as a greeter when a heavily pregnant woman comes in.)

Coworker: “Good morning! Is there anything I can help you with today?”

Customer: “Yes. I was wondering if you could tell me about these glasses…”

(She leads him to a different display only a few feet away. There are about five others of us on the shop floor, mostly busy with people, and two more of us are approached by customers almost immediately after my coworker. The man who speaks to me is very skinny and looks kind of nervous.)

Customer: “Hey, yeah, I’m looking for my mum’s glasses; her name’s [Woman’s Full Name].”

Me: “Um, I can’t see any ready to collect for a Ms. [Last Name].”

Customer: “It might be under [Different Last Name].”

Me: *still rummaging in drawers* “I can’t see anything for a Ms. [Different Last Name], either. Hang on, let me check the order list. Can I have her date of birth?”

Customer: “Actually, don’t worry. I’ll just leave it.”

Me: “I’m sure I can find them, just—“

(With that he turns and hurries out, and it’s right then I realise the entire rack of about fifty pairs of sunglasses has been emptied. It takes a few seconds for me to link the theft with a man who has been talking to me the entire time, and I realise he was a distraction. I run out of the shop but it’s too late. When we check the CCTV, there are four people clearly involved. They came in within a few minutes of each other, three made beelines for member of staff, and the other waited briefly before emptying the display into a backpack before they all left at almost the same time. It was amazingly well coordinated, and we still don’t know why they’d want sunglasses with white writing in the way of your vision. We report it to the police and take their photos from the CCTV, and we think that’s all we can do, until a few weeks later when my mum and I are at a car-boot sale.)

Mum: *whispering* “Do you see those?”

Me: “The sunglasses? Yeah, why?”

Mum: “They’re from the shop.”

Me: “They’re just black frame sunglasses, Mum; they all look the same.”

Mum: *to the people at the stall* “Oh! Look at these! How lovely! Let me just try them on!”

(She makes a big pantomime out of trying on these sunglasses and really looking at them.)

Mum: “I’ll think about it.”

Me: *as we move away* “So, they weren’t ours?”

Mum: “No, they are. I’m calling the police.”

(I still didn’t really believe her because there were only a few pairs out and they’re mostly black and brown, generic-looking sunglasses, but when the police turned up they found dozens more pairs in their car. When they had a closer look, they found that the white lettering had been carefully filed off of each pair. They were arrested and eventually found guilty of the theft, though they were only fined. What most surprised me was that they’d gone to all that effort to steal and file down the sunglasses only to end up selling them for £5 each at a car-boot sale!)

He’s About To Get Tow-tally Annihilated

, , , , | Legal | March 31, 2019

We had issues with customers parking in our gas station parking lot and then going up to the big casino whose property we were on. Both the casino and station were owned by the same tribe, but the rule was that if you went to the casino, you could not use the gas station parking lot, even though it was closer. They had a free shuttle to and from the lots at all times, so there was really no excuse.

As I was coming in from pulling trash by the pumps, I saw a giant truck in one of the two handicap parking spaces directly in front of the station. Because of so many people parking in these spots without permission, it was just second nature to check the vehicle for visible signs it was allowed. This truck had no handicap tags, placard, or stickers. I went into the miniature casino that was in the same building as the station, but there was only one customer there. When I asked, she said it wasn’t hers.

I called security and asked them to make an announcement for the owner of the truck to come move it. I gave the tag number and description, and asked them to let the customer know that if it wasn’t gone in fifteen minutes, it would be towed.

As another security officer came down for the hourly checkup, an enraged man came, as well, cursing and screaming about having to move his vehicle. I was outside again, and security stood there as a precaution. I told him that not only was he not supposed to use our parking lot if he was in the main casino, but he had no visible handicap tags.

He continued to scream and rant at me, and it was making me angrier and angrier. Security was trying to hide his smile and look professional.

“IT WASN’T MARKED HANDICAP WHEN I PARKED HERE!”

“Sir,” I said, a little tersely. “There is a marking of a person in a wheelchair underneath your vehicle, right now.”

“IT WASN’T THERE WHEN I PARKED HERE!”

“Yes, sir, I violated the laws of physics, lifted your truck up, painted it under there, and then gently lowered it back down. Move your truck or I’m having it towed.”

He moved it one spot over. “There, you f****** b****. I’ve got another fifteen minutes.”

“Dude, if you walk off, I’m having it towed.”

He walked off, flipping me off, and I looked to the security officer.

“Let me call the tow truck. Please.”

“That was the funniest thing I’ve seen all day. Go for it.”

The tow truck got there in ten minutes, spent another five loading the vehicle up, and sat there another ten as the driver came in for something to drink before leaving.

Ten minutes after that, the customer stormed in, screaming, “WHERE IS MY TRUCK?!”

I took great pleasure in saying, “Probably the impound lot by now. I really hope you hit the jackpot.”

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