Google Provides Everything On The Internet, Except Permission

, , , | Right | December 1, 2018

(I work in a copy shop. We can get in loads of trouble if we are found copying material that’s copyrighted. Our corporate has been seriously cracking down on this, and I’ve heard a few people were fired. A man has submitted a file of a very well-known, copyrighted figure, and wants dozens of prints made.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but we aren’t allowed to print copyrighted material.”

Customer: “That’s not copyrighted; I say it’s okay.”

Me: “I’m afraid I just won’t be allowed to print it unless you have some proof you have permission to use the image.”

Customer: “Of course I have permission! I found it on Google!”

Behaving Poorly

, , , | Legal | November 28, 2018

(I am full of a chest cold and have struggled to the pharmacy to stock up on decongestants, so I can go back to bed for as long as possible. My spouse has texted to ask me to pick up extra, as he’s starting with the same cold. As I look through the shelf of cold and flu medication, I notice that everything contains either paracetamol — acetaminophen — or ibuprofen. There are laws limiting the sale of those medications in the UK, which have significantly reduced intentional and accidental overdoses.)

Me: *pointing at shelf* “Excuse me. How many packets am I allowed to buy?”

Assistant: “Only two, I’m afraid.”

Me: “Oh, bother. For two of us poorly, that’s only two days’ worth. Never mind. I’ll just have to come back again.”

Assistant: “Well, unless you have a consultation with the pharmacist…”

(Fortunately, the pharmacist agrees to authorise sale of two packets each for me and my spouse, and after thanking her, I pay.)

Assistant: “People are so rude about the limit, though. You should hear what they’re like when we have to say no.”

Me: “What? But they do know it’s actually the law and not just [Pharmacy] policy?”

Assistant: “Yes. One man shouted at me for several minutes because I wouldn’t sell him ten packets of paracetamol in one go. Then he said, ‘I’m just going to come back in fifteen minutes to buy more and you won’t remember me.’”

Me: “I’m not sure that’s how that works.”

Assistant: “Yeah, he was pretty memorable by that point.”

Me: “And instead he could just have gone to [Shop twenty metres away] and [Shop fifty metres away], which both sell that kind of medicine.”

Assistant: “Exactly!”

Rise And Scam

, , , | Legal | November 22, 2018

(It’s four am, and I get a call.)

Caller: “This is [My Bank]. I’m sorry for calling so early, but your credit card number has been stolen!”

Me: “What?!”

Caller: “Yes. To verify your identity, please give me your credit card number.”

(Like a sleep-deprived idiot, I give my number. They tell me that they’re going to freeze the account, and we hang up.)

Partner: “Mhmf. What did they want?”

Me: “My card’s been stolen! They called as soon as…”

Partner: “…as soon as it was stolen?”

Me: *realizing* “I… I need to call our bank. Now.”

(I cancelled the card. Luckily, I didn’t have any charges yet. I now set my phone to Do Not Disturb mode when sleeping, and I tell any “banks” that I’ll call them by their official number!)

Burn The Evidence, One Cigarette At A Time

, , , , , , | Legal | November 19, 2018

I work in a fast food restaurant that is inside a convenience store. One day, the store manager had five cartons of “soft pack” cigarettes set aside to be returned. They had been ordered by mistake, as most smokers prefer the standard, harder packs.  

When the vendor came to pick them up, only four cartons were there. The manager started looking at the cameras to try to catch the thief. While he was looking, another employee came in and told him that one of the fast food workers who was working that day was outside smoking those specific, uncommon cigarettes.

The manager confronted the employee, who confessed and offered to pay for them to keep his job. The manager refused, and the employee was fired.

Who is stupid enough to smoke the very things you stole at the place you stole them from?

I’m Calling The Police: No Joke

, , , , , , | Legal Right | November 18, 2018

(I am serving late on a Monday night when who I assume is the friend of the man I am currently serving comes up by the counter and stares me dead in the eyes and without emotion.)

Customer’s Friend: “This is an armed robbery.”

Me: *stunned and internally panicking since this has never happened before*

Customer’s Friend: *long silence*

Me: *still stunned*

Customer’s Friend: “Ha! It’s a joke!”

(Who the h*** thinks that’s a joke is beyond me. I don’t want to be in retail anymore.)

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