Buy Bye!

, , , | Right | November 2, 2017

(At our hotel, we have a snack shop full of food as well as other things, like soaps and brushes.)

Customer: “Do you have a toothbrush?”

Me: “We have toothbrushes to buy. We don’t have them free.”

Customer: “Buy?”

(I show her.)

Me: “Yes, toothbrushes to buy, on the bottom shelf there.”

Customer: “Buy?”

Me: “Yes, buy.”

Customer: “Oh, buy!” *takes brush and leaves without paying*

Me: “…”

Must Not Have Passed Their OWLs

, , , , , | Learning | November 2, 2017

(Someone has written graffiti on the door and [Teacher #1] has just arrived to see it.)

Teacher #1: “I don’t suppose we know who it was?”

Teacher #2: “[Student] told me it must have been someone evil, like a Death Eater or something.”

Teacher #1: “Hmm… You’d have thought evil forces could at least spell correctly.”

The Day A Hurricane Came Through The Drive-Thru

, , , , , , , | Right | November 2, 2017

(Hurricane Harvey is in the area. While my section of Texas is clear of the core of the storm, the rain bands cause quite a bit of flooding along with, understandably, a decline of people. We have already been allowed by corporate to shut down the restaurant early if we aren’t turning a profit for six 15-minute periods straight. We are not making profits and, thankfully, the weather isn’t getting worse in our area. Therefore, the manager has decided to close the restaurant and has already posted signs on all the doors and drive-through window, and has slipped a sign behind the plastic of the menu board. I am still wearing the headset while helping my coworkers and manager, who is also wearing a headset, take care of cleaning, storage, and the like, when I hear a ping. I ignore this for a while until I hear the customer.)

Customer: “Hello, I’d like to—” *starts rattling off a 20+ item order*

Me: *interrupting the ordering* “I am sorry, sir, but we are closed due to the hurricane.”

Customer: “Yes, and I’d like ten large sodas—” *starts to rattle them off*

Me: “I am sorry, sir, but we are closed, due to the weather. We will be open again at 10:00 am tomorrow, and we do apologize for the incon—”

Customer: “I thought this was a 24/7 restaurant and, besides, it’s only 10:15!”

Me: “First, we are not 24/7. Second, even if we were, we are closing due to the storm, as indicated by the sign on the menu board.”

Customer: “Are you going to take my f****** order or not?!”

Me: “Sir, we are not able to make you anything as we have closed early. Please look at th—”

(I hear the car screech away and think this is the last of it until we hear a constant stream of honking from the window. As I’m the closest to the window, cleaning some of the equipment nearby, I decide to try again by pointing to the sign.)

Sign: “Due to inclement weather, the lobby will be closing at 8:00 pm and the drive-through will close at 10:00 pm. The store will re-open at 10:00 am without breakfast menu items. We apologize for the inconvenience.”

(They just honk their horn before trying to force open the window, at which point I get my manager.)

Me: “[Manager]! GET OVER HERE, NOW! HE’S TRYING TO BREAK OPEN OUR WINDOW!”

Manager: *grabbing the store phone and her own cell phone* “Get your cell phone ready to call the police.” *yelling through the closed window* “SIR, WE ARE CLOSED DUE TO THE HURRICANE! WE ARE TRYING TO CLEAN AND GET EVERYTHING READY FOR TOMORROW! IF YOU DO NOT LEAVE, WE ARE GOING TO CALL THE POLICE!”

(The customer starts using strings of curses and insults, and almost causes a wreck getting off of our property onto the street. After a few minutes of trying to process what happened, we all start to get back to work and think this really is end of it. Sadly, a few moments later, the phone rings and my manager answers it.)

Manager: “Thank you for calling [Restaurant]. Just to let you know, we are closed right now du—” *pause* “Sir, we have several signs up on the doors, windows, and the menu board. Furthermore, we could have called the cops on you when you attempted to break and enter. Lastly, through the window we saw you speed into the street in front of another car. If you have any issues with us closing early due to this storm, then you are free to call [Corporate Phone Number], but they were the ones to inform us that we are okay to close early as needed.”

(About two days later, we heard that the customer did indeed try to make a complaint, claiming we served other customers after he left, that we were discriminating against him, and various other bulls***. However, they were all dismissed, and his phone number, along with details from the outside cameras, were given to police for them to handle.)

Reading The Ticket, That’s The Ticket!

, , , | Working | October 29, 2017

(I’m at an appointment a couple towns over. When I come back to my car, I see a parking inspector standing next to my car writing a ticket.)

Me: “Hi, this is my car. Is there some sort of problem?”

Parking Inspector: “Hello, yes. This street is resident parking only.”

Me: “Oh, I didn’t notice.” *taking a look around* “Wait, would you mind showing me the sign that states this is resident parking only?”

Parking Inspector: “There is none.”

Me: “How do you mean? There is none?”

Parking Inspector: “Yes, there has been a construction site here recently. It seems they didn’t put the sign back up when they finished.”

Me: “Okay, but how am I supposed to know this is residents-only then?”

Parking Inspector: “Look, I’m not going to argue. You are parking here and I’m going to write you a ticket. You can object to the ticket once you receive the official ticket per mail.”

Me: “Okay. Could you write down that the sign is missing, please?”

Parking Inspector: “Okay.” *finishes writing, prints out the ticket, and hands it to me* “Good day, sir.”

(Fast forward a couple of weeks. By now, I have received the ticket by mail and objected to it according to the attached instructions, pointing out I couldn’t even know this is resident parking only since there was no sign and I’m from a couple towns over. One afternoon my telephone rings.)

Employee: “Hello, is this [My Name]? I’m calling about your objection to a parking ticket.”

Me: “Yes, this is [My Name].”

Employee: “I’m afraid your objection has been dismissed as being unsubstantiated. I’m calling to let you know that, if you pay this week before we send out another payment request, you’ll save yourself paying the processing fee.”

Me: *in disbelief* “How do you mean? Can you pull up the ticket on your screen and read it back to me? I just want to be 100% sure we’re talking about the same ticket.”

Employee: “Sure, wait. Just let me pull it up.” *goes silent for a few seconds* “Sir?”

Me: “Yes.”

Employee: “Consider the matter resolved. I’m going to take charge of it from here on. Have a nice day.”

Me: “Thank you. You, too!”

Employee: *mumbling while hanging up* “Dear Lord in heaven. I’m working with idiots!”

There Are Some Things You Just Don’t Do, Period

, , , , , | Working | October 27, 2017

(I work as a cleaner for a gym. I also have a bladder problem that makes me go to the bathroom a lot. Plus, this day I’m on my period, so I go.)

Boss: “Why were you in the bathroom for so long? I don’t pay you to go!”

Me: *embarrassed* “I have a bladder issue.”

Boss: “Whatever! Clean those mirrors!”

(I go, but the feeling comes back so I run back in the bathroom. I’m finishing up when I see two eyes peeping at me! They’re not [Boss], so I go to him.)

Me: “Did you send someone to peep at me?!”

Boss: “I had no choice! You were in there slacking off! My other employee saw you!”

Me: “I’m on my period! And it’s illegal to peep on someone while they’re on the toilet; it’s called voyeurism!”

Boss: “I didn’t do it! It was my employee!”

(I quit that day. Really, who sends someone to peep at others?)

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