Driving Away Customers

, , , , | Right | September 6, 2017

(I’m getting coffee with a friend who works as a policeman. As we are sitting, a man leaves the shop, then immediately comes back in, furious.)

Customer: “My car is gone!”

(My friend identifies himself and steps outside with a coffee shop employee. They soon locate the car, which has rolled down the hill, hopped a barrier, and crashed into a concrete barrier.)

Customer: “[Coffee Shop] destroyed my car! I’m suing! I’ll own this place!”

(My friend calls for on duty officers and they arrive quickly. As soon as they investigate, there’s some issue.)

Officer: “Sir? Where did you park your car?”

Customer: “Over there.” *indicates the fire lane*

Officer: “So, you illegally parked your car in the fire lane, blocking the handicap ramp. Parked is the wrong word though. We found the car running and still in gear.”

Customer: “I was just going to be a moment! I’m going to sue [Coffee Shop] for this!”

Officer: “Uh, no. You won’t.”

Giving Customers A Reason To Be Anxious

, , , , , | Working | August 29, 2017

(I am walking through the centre aisle of the supermarket when a colleague screams out:)

Colleague: “NO! I ABSOLUTELY WILL NOT HAVE SEX WITH YOU!”

(I run to the aisle and make it just as security arrives as well. The colleague is shaking and the man is staring at her completely confused. The man is escorted to a secure area while the police are called, and the colleague is taken to the staff room. I go into the administration office with the other managers on duty. We check the footage to see if anything was caught. We see him walk up to the colleague and ask a question, she then slaps him and shouts. Moments later I appear. We go into the staff room to see how the colleague is doing. She has calmed down a bit.)

Colleague: “Is the man alright?”

Me: “Is HE alright?”

Colleague: “I don’t want him to get in trouble.”

Me: “But he solicited you!”

Colleague: *starting to cry* “NO! He… he asked me where the bolognese sauce was, and I panicked…”

Manager: “So, you accused him of coming on to you?”

Colleague: “I PANICKED!”

(I got a call on my phone from security that we needed to come out. There was a woman screaming in the background. We all went out as the police arrived. The man appeared to have been beaten, admittedly by his wife, who was being held on the other side of the room. We explained the situation and the wife fainted at the revelation. Everyone was allowed to leave, but we requested that our colleague apologise for the confusion. She refused, and I apologised for her. Our colleague had worked with us for several years at that point and we had never had a problem. She had an anxiety disorder, but was adamant that she was fine. It happened another two times [one where she actually screamed “rape” after an elderly gentleman asked if she could check an expiry date], before she admitted she had stopped taking her medication; the reason being that she was nervous to submit the repeat prescription. We offered her paid leave while she got herself sorted out, but after a month she handed in her notice.)

The Amount Of Stealing Goes Down As The Volume Goes Up

, , , | Right | August 26, 2017

(It’s late one evening at the store on a particularly slow night. I finally get a family at my till. I am serving this family and everything is going well until I hear my manager screaming my name from across the store and pointing to the entrance. I look up and see that a customer is trying to steal some of our products. I naturally have an incredibly loud voice, and am known to be very sassy so I yell out.)

Me: “EXCUSE ME! THE REGISTER IS ACTUALLY RIGHT OVER HERE, NOT IN THE PARKING LOT, IF YOU WANT TO PAY FOR YOUR ITEMS!”

(Everyone goes silent and then the family I am serving bursts out laughing. The customer trying to steal is so in shock, they end up dropping the stuff and running out. I turn back to my customers.)

Me: *with a smile* “Will that be everything for today?”

Customer: *out of breath from laughing* “I can’t believe you said that. That was amazing.”

(My manager later came to see me and said she saw the almost-thief watching me at my till, waiting for someone to cash out so that they could sneak past me, and told me she was proud of how I handled the situation!)

Underserved And Overblamed

, , , | Right | August 24, 2017

(The day I turned 18, I got my pro-serve (licensing to sell and serve liquor) and started bartending. Six years down the line, I’m working at a small town lounge/bar with a restaurant on the other side. I’ve only been here a few months but know all the regulars and ins-and-outs of the business. One of said regulars comes in and orders his usual: one single beer and an order of wings. About two minutes after he’s served his drink, he says he’ll be right back and goes outside. Not unusual for this guy, as he’s a smoker. A few minutes pass and he’s back in and gets his food. After two bites, he again says he’d be right back, pays his tab and goes outside. About a minute later, I hear a BANG followed by squealing tires. A truck has backed into another vehicle, HARD.)

Me: “Whoever owns the red Ford Taurus, please come up to the bar immediately.”

(A woman, about 20, comes up with her boyfriend. They’ve had a couple drinks and a LOT of food.)

Woman: “Hey, that’s what I drive. What’s going on?”

Me: “I’m so sorry; someone just backed into your car and took off. Police have already been called.”

(The woman LOSES it. Bear in mind, the car was rusty and old to begin with, but I can understand her frustration.)

Woman: “What the he*** do you mean? Where did he go?”

Me: “Don’t panic; we have cameras outside and that guy sitting by the window saw the whole thing.”

(The police arrive and start asking questions, getting the camera footage, etc. Focus turns to me.)

Officer: “So, [My Name], who’s the driver?”

Me: “I believe his name is [Common Name] or [Super Common Name], but I never paid much attention.”

Officer: “Okay, and I’m going to need you to be very honest with me here, because you can be arrested for this. How much did he have to drink?”

Me: “Only one beer, a [popular LITE beer]; nothing else. I have never over-served.”

(My manager nods in agreement, adding that I’m the strictest employee they have when it comes to serving.)

Officer: “I don’t believe that. I’m gonna need to see his tab, and it better correspond with the video.”

(We spend the next 20 minutes watching and showing the officer the footage and tab, which proves he only had one beer. I have a revelation at that point.)

Me: “WAIT! He didn’t even finish his beer OR wings; they’re still sitting behind the bar! He said he’d be right back so I set them there so nobody would touch them!”

(Sure enough, we go back and find a bottle over 3/4 full, and wings with a bite taken out of one. The officer is adamant it’s somehow my fault.)

Officer: “That’s fine; that means he was drunk when he came in and you still served him.”

Me: “Okay, I don’t mean to be rude and I’m cooperating fully, so I don’t get the vendetta you have for me. He was not drunk whatsoever. I served him a beer which you saw he only took a couple sips from. He didn’t smell of alcohol or have any warning signs at all. He was totally sober. Dude probably just didn’t want to get caught and have his insurance go up.”

(The officer seems satisfied with this and walks off to talk to the owners of the other vehicle. We finally find the guy on Facebook and get his details to the officer. I take photos of the damage and text them to the woman since her camera didn’t work. All is fine and dandy and they leave, until…)

Me: *to Manager* “In all that chaos, that couple didn’t pay their bill!”

Manager: “D*** it! Ugh. Okay, how much was it?”

Me: “$89.”

Manager: “You best be calling that officer and finding out who they are. I cannot discount or write off liquor.”

Me: “Oh, right, I texted her photos!”

(I send a text to the woman; no reply for 15 minutes. I call and leave a message. No reply after 30 minutes longer. I send another text advising her I’ll contact the officer for her details if she doesn’t come back to pay. She finally replies and says she’ll be right there.)

Woman: *while punching in her PIN* “I figured since you over-served that guy and he f***** up my car, you’d buy our food.”

Me: “Erm, no. For one, the officer called. They found him. He’s sober as a nun. For two, why would I buy your food for you for any reason? This is how I pay my bills. I don’t do this job to blow my money on other people.”

Woman: *now finished paying* “Well, we will see about that I guess.” *mumbling* “You’re a s***ty server… Crappy place… Food sucked!”

Me: “Okay, seriously? I used MY break to scour Facebook for that guy. We had ZERO mutual friends, so it took some digging. I sent YOU pictures of the damage. I called the cops for YOU. I gave them the video footage. I did all this for you, and that’s how I’m repaid? With attitude and blame? It’s a d*** good thing I work in a bar or I’d never, EVER say this to a customer, but f*** you and don’t ever come back. And by the way, for our food being so crappy, you sure ate a lot of it.”

Woman: *mouth wide open, gasping*

(No tip.)

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Respect For Convenience Trumps Respect For The Dead

, , , | Right | August 23, 2017

(My father is a senior police officer in Amsterdam. During his shift there was a deadly accident involving a car and a pedestrian. After having covered most of the accident up with white sheets and having put up a line to keep the people from walking onto the scene, a woman walks over the line just before my father stops her.)

Father: “Ma’am, you need to stay behind the line. There was an accident and nobody other than the police or medics can come through.”

Woman: “But I need to go over there.” *points to a local shop on the other side of the street*

Father: “I understand that, but walk around. You are walking through—”

Woman: “But I need to go there! It’s shorter this way!”

(She tries to pass my father before he steps in front of her again.)

Father: “Ma’am, I warn you one last time to walk around or I will throw you against the ground and arrest you.”

(At this point the lady had enough and walked passed him before he could stop her. He vthen threw her upon the blood-stained ground. After about five minutes of holding her down with two other officers, she gave up and got handcuffed to a stop sign. She was there till the accident was taken care of and cleaned up, three full hours later.)

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