They Realized Too Plate

, , , , , | Legal | May 1, 2021

I am training a member of staff. A moody customer comes up to our counter.

Customer: *Loudly* “I want a large [meal]. And use only one plate! I am not carrying a bunch of crap!”

Trainee: *Quietly, to me* “Doesn’t [meal] come on three plates?”

Me: *Resigned* “Yes.”

I watch the trainee carefully stack each item onto the plate as demanded, attempting to keep the items separated. It clearly does not meet the customer’s standards.

Customer: *Yelling* “What the f***?! Can you see this slop?!”

Me: *Calmly* “A large [meal], on one dish as requested. What isn’t meeting your standards today?”

Customer: “Everything’s slopped together! When I eat, I expect my food not touching!”

Me: “You requested a single plate for our largest meal. Unfortunately, our plates are only—”

Customer: *Cutting me off* “Your d***ed employee should have used a larger plate! I am the customer, I am right! You will fix this!”

Trainee: “Sir! You can read. The menu says [meal] comes on three plates. You demanded one plate, so clearly you read the menu. What did you expect?”

After a beat, the customer throws the plate of steaming food at me before booming that he is going to “beat some sense” into my trainee. With the sudden threat, I quickly position myself between them.

Me: “He’s new. It doesn’t excuse what he said, and I’ll handle it. Clearly, you’re upset. Please come and see my supervisor. I’ll personally fill him in while you rest comfortably.”

I led my trainee to my boss’s office. I explained what happened while my boss helped me clean up and bandage the burns on my arms. I didn’t want to press charges, but I did want this customer banned. My boss said he would handle it and left us to wait in his office.

Some time passed and my boss returned to fill us in. The customer was still angry when my boss got there and demanded he be allowed to handle the trainee. My boss refused and looked for a solution that would allow this customer to go home and not to jail, but he kept refusing and eventually swung at him!

After my boss slammed him onto the ground, the customer called the police claiming assault. When the police arrived, everything was explained and the police asked if my boss wanted to press charges. He said no, but the customer was banned.

The police explained to the customer what “banned” meant. He didn’t take the news well and went for the cops. He was arrested and guaranteed three free meals a day. I hope he likes them better than ours.

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When You Need To Call The Police But You Call Tier-Two Support First

, , , , | Working | CREDIT: devdevo1919 | April 29, 2021

I work tech support rep for an ISP, but we also offer home security to varying degrees from just a couple of cameras to a home fortress. This particular customer has been escalated to me and has a few normal surveillance cameras, a few motion sensors as well as a doorbell camera. I am talking to the agent.

Me: “Hi, this is [My Name].”

Agent: “Hi, this is [Agent Name]. I have a customer saying that they’re receiving notifications from their motion detector that there’s movement inside their home.”

Me: “Okay?”

Caller: “They can also see that their garage door is open. Can you pull up the cameras for me just to confirm there’s not a burglary taking place?”

Me: *Dumbfounded.* “Tell them to call the police if they think they’re being burglarized!”

Caller: “Well, I just wanted to confirm they were before I told them that!”

Me: “Seriously, [Agent Name]. Get them to call the police!”

Caller: “Alright, I will. Thanks!” *Click.*

Turns out, someone had indeed broken in. The customer never armed their system as they later tried claiming that the alarm wasn’t working at the time. We pulled up the logs and saw it was disarmed the previous night and never rearmed. We also cannot look at their camera feeds for privacy reasons.

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Every Body Has To Take It Seriously

, , , , | Right | CREDIT: EnterraCreator | April 28, 2021

I work in an ISP call center that revolves around fixing internet service. I’m the person that asks if you rebooted your modem.

Me: “Thank you for calling [ISP’s name]. My name is [My Name]. With whom do I have the pleasure of speaking with today?”

Caller: “I had a tech knock on my door. He wants to go into my yard to bury a cable from my neighbor.”

Me: “Yes, sir. That is usually standard protocol depending on where the tap is located. May I hav—”

Caller: “YOU ALL WILL NOT BE BURYING ANYTHING IN MY YARD. AND IF THAT TECHNICIAN KNOCKS ON MY DOOR AGAIN, I’LL BURY HIS BODY WITH THE THE REST OF THE DEAD BODIES IN MY BACKYARD!”

Just a heads up. Don’t threaten a technician or a company. We take that very seriously.

I put myself in an auxiliary state so I wouldn’t get another call and reach out to my supervisor. She immediately gets on the line with our security team. They reach out to the local sheriff’s office. They pay him a visit.

I later found out he didn’t have dead bodies in his back yard, but only after the local law enforcement dug up his backyard looking for them.

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At Least He Ended Up On His Good Side!

, , , , , | Legal | April 27, 2021

This happened to my grandfather when he was seventeen. He had worked at a job in an amusement park for a while, and eventually, he got promoted to the ticket booth. While he was being trained, his trainer took him to the side and pointed out a man. He told him that if the man, who was extremely muscular and absolutely huge, were to come up to the booth and demand all the money, he should give it to him.

Fast forward to later in the summer. My grandfather was working on closing the booth at night when four fairly large teens came up and asked for tickets. My grandfather said no and they promised to beat him up.

Sure enough, when my grandfather was leaving, the four guys were waiting for him in the parking lot. My grandfather, who weighed in at under 100 pounds and was a skinny, scared teen at the time, prepared to fight when the four guys ran away. My grandpa, feeling pretty good about himself, turned to see the huge man standing there, protecting him!

Fast forward once more to many years later. My grandfather was sitting and reading the paper when he saw a familiar face on the front page. The man who protected him was actually a hitman for the mafia and had pistol-whipped an old woman because her husband had owed the mafia money! And that’s the story of how my grandfather was unwittingly protected by the mafia.

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Mess With The Cub, You Get The Papa Bear’s Claws

, , , , , , | Legal | April 25, 2021

CONTENT WARNING: Assault

When I’m fifteen, my family stays in a hotel for an extended time. This hotel has a few washers and dryers on site, which is very convenient for us. My father and I are unloading two dryers, mine on the bottom left and his on the top right. While I bend down to unload my dryer, I feel someone grab my backside.

I stand abruptly, turn, and find myself staring at a strange man. He grins at me, reaching out as if to grab me again. I slap his hands away.

Me: “Don’t touch me.”

Father: *Closing his dryer door* “I didn’t touch you.” *Seeing the other man* “Did you touch her?”

Man: *Stepping back* “No.”

Me: “He grabbed my butt.”

My father is the kind of person who catches spiders in the house and releases them outside, so I never thought he’d be the type of person to do what happens next. He grabs the other man by the back of his neck and slams his face into the dryer door hard enough that it leaves a small dent, before throwing him backward. The other man stumbles, stunned.

My father stays standing between us.

Father: “You should go now.”

Man: *Glaring* “A**hole.”

My father takes a step toward the man.

Father: “Leave.”

The man made a speedy exit. We stopped at the front desk and reported him. The police came and took our statements asking the usual — what was I wearing, what was I doing, did I engage with the man at all before he touched me? I noticed the officer wasn’t writing anything down as he asked, only looking at me with a raised eyebrow before saying they probably wouldn’t be able to do anything.

I never heard anything about it again but we did get charged to repair the dryer door. My father contacted the hotel’s corporate office, apologizing for the dent and explaining what had happened. The charge was removed without comment.


This story is part of our Best Of April 2021 roundup!

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