Not Behaving Like An Adult

, , , , | | Right | May 24, 2019

(I work in a sex toy store. Since all of our products aren’t that appropriate, we have very strict policies. Today just happens to be Black Friday and we have gone through some problems already. Keep in mind that I am a really young-looking 30-year-old with an eight-month pregnancy, and I’m hoping to quit soon because I’ll be done with my ten years of medical college. A mother and her seven-year-old daughter enter the store, clearly showing signs of annoyance.)

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am, but your young child cannot be allowed in this store, as we obviously have inappropriate content.”

Mother: “Don’t tell me what to do! And certainly don’t tell me how to parent my child. And you look like a stupid f***** who got herself pregnant when she was in college and had to have a second job to pay for college. Either that or you’re just d*** fat.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’d like to inform you that I’m married and—”

Mother: “What a slut! Pregnant and married at such a young age!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m 30. Anyway, you need to get out. Your child is too young to be in this shop. I’ll have to ask you to leave.”

Mother: *gesturing to her daughter* “This stupid little girl has gotten me thrown out of three shops already!”

(I’m shocked about how rude this customer is being to her own child.)

Me: “Sorry for the inconvenience, ma’am. Feel free to come tomorrow or any other day, but if you’re bringing others, make sure they’re over 18.”

Mother: “Whatever.”

(I see the two walk out, and ten minutes later, the lady returns.)

Me: “Ma’am, I said leave. Your child is too young for this store.”

Mother: *looks confident* “My idiot of a child isn’t here. She’s back at our house.”

Me: *a look of doubt is clearly shown on my face* “You expect me to believe that you got to your car, left, reached your house, dropped your kid off, and made it back to this particular area? Especially in this rush?”

Mother: “Of course. The customer is always right. Now move.”

(She shoves me to the side, grabs a couple of our products, and inspects them. I look around every nook and cranny for her kid for a solid four minutes and she hasn’t moved an inch. I then look around to see if she is in or near another shop close by. Luckily, I see her about seventy feet away. I couldn’t believe that the lady is so ignorant and stubborn that she just left her child to wander the mall! I take the kid into the store and march up to the mother.)

Mother: *to daughter* “What are you doing here?” *to me* “And who gives you the right to touch my child?! Call the manager!”

(I get my manager and tell him the situation.)

Manager: “You did the right thing, ma’am.

Mother: “I know. Now, get this slutty b**** out of here!”

Manager: “I wasn’t talking to you. Now I am. Get out of my store. If I or my employee see your face around here or your daughter alone again, I will call security.”

(I go to take her products away but realize one is missing. It’s, of course, a dildo.)

Me: “Hey, where is the other dildo you were looking at? The pink one?”

(She tried to run away, but a security guard was there, fortunately. We questioned her repeatedly while we waited for the police, and it turns out her dildo was actually in her bag. Thank goodness. She was charged with theft and child abuse, and her child went to live with her dad. Seven years later, the child is the babysitter of my two young children and we like to joke about that really weird day.)

Don’t Do The Crime If You Don’t Know The Bus Time

, , , , , , , | | Legal | May 20, 2019

This story was told to me by my fiancé who worked at the store at the time. Police arrived at [Trade Store] and asked [Fiancé] about two customers he’d served the day before. Apparently, these two were suspected of stealing several power tools the previous night.

The thieves had parked out of view of the cameras and seemed to know where other cameras were while they ransacked the place. Police said they’d investigate, but given the low amount of evidence, the thieves would likely get away.

But the thieves got greedy. They went back! I guess it’s more lucrative to sell items as new with boxes, so the thieves actually came back and took the boxes they’d originally left behind. Again, they parked away from the cameras. The store is in a small, rural town so there isn’t much traffic… except for buses.

As the thieves pulled away, a bus passed them. This was all captured on the CCTV. The police contacted the bus depot, found the bus that went by that night, grabbed its dashcam, and found the registration number of the car that the thieves had driven and the address of the car’s owner.

Police went to the address and found the thieves surrounded by their stolen items — from more than just [Trade Store].

The store has since increased the number and position of cameras.

Wrong About Tax Rights

, , , , , , | | Right | May 20, 2019

(I am ringing up a customer.)

Me: “Your total is… [total].”

Customer: “Hmm. I did the math; that seems high. Aren’t these items $[price #1] and $[price #2]?”

Me: “Well, yes, but then another $[amount] was added for sales tax.”

Customer: “Oh, well, I don’t have to pay sales tax.”

Me: “All right, then. If I can just see the state-issued document that includes your tax-exempt number, I’d be more than happy to remove the tax from the transaction.”

Customer: “I need a form?”

Me: “Yes. Otherwise, how would I know you are actually tax-exempt?”

Customer: “That would impede my rights to have to go to the government in order to not have to pay tax. That’s illegal!”

(My manager approaches, mainly because the man is talking rather loudly.)

Customer: *looks at manager* “So, can you take the tax off of my purchase?”

Manager: “Sure! I just need to see the tax-exempt form.”

Customer: “I just told your employee I don’t have that because that would impede my rights.”

Manager: “Unfortunately, I cannot prove that, and I cannot authorize a tax-exempt sale without that form, which includes the tax-exempt number.”

Customer: “Well, I will be reporting both of you to the police for breaking the law!”

Manager: “Okay!”

Me: “Sounds good.”

(The customer left, and we just started laughing at the craziness.)

A Regular Hero

, , , , | | Legal | May 18, 2019

(I’m working the counter at a fairly popular café. It’s the afternoon and it’s surprisingly busy for our store. Besides me, there are two other people in the store: a regular customer and her boyfriend of three months. The regular is a short, very sweet girl, an extreme pacifist, and generally a very pleasant person to talk to. She’s been coming to the store for as long as I’ve been hired, and we’re close enough that we talk all the time through text. She’s one of my closest friends. Her boyfriend is a giant dude with piercings in his right ear and a long Mohawk that he’s dyed bright neon green. He looks like a classic “punk” and honestly looks like he could throw a coffee machine across a room if he wanted to. The regular, on the other hand, is pretty much a classic “schoolgirl” type person. She brought him in to meet me, and for a date, so they both seem really nice. They chose a small table with metal chairs at the end of the bar, and the girl is looking in my direction as this goes down. A middle-aged man walks into the empty café and stands by the bar in front of me.)

Me: “Hello, sir, welcome to [Café]. What can I get for you today?”

Man: “Oh, just my regular—“ *shifts his hand out of his hoodie pocket to show me a rather large knife* “—and don’t talk to those two while you’re getting it; I’m in a bit of a hurry.”

Me: *glances at the regular and the boyfriend* “Of… of course, sir.” *opens the register with a rather loud clack — they tend to slam open if we don’t catch them*

(The regular looks up from her drink, looking confused at the loud noise. The boyfriend doesn’t look up from his phone.)

Me: “And will that be for h-here or to go, s-sir?”

(I notice the regular stand up really slowly from her chair, and the boyfriend looks away from his phone to look at her.)

Man: “To go, obviously. I just told you I was in a hurry. Get it out here already.”

Me: “Right, sorry…”

(I notice the regular wrapping her hands around the back of her chair, and the boyfriend is leaning forward slightly, like he plans on getting up. I’ve collected all the larger bills in my hand and I’m starting to reach over the counter to hand it to the man.)

Me: “Here’s your change, s—“

Regular: “HAH!”

(Both I and the man looked towards the regular and her boyfriend in surprise, just in time for the regular’s metal chair to crash into to man, throwing him to the floor and making him drop his knife. The regular had thrown the heavy metal chair right over her boyfriend’s head and into the man who had been attempting to rob us. This and the chair stunned the man long enough for her boyfriend to run over and keep the man pressed to the floor until the police arrived. This regular is pretty well known among the employees now, and I have yet to see anything else that could possibly top how stunned I was to this day.)

The Fluster Buster

, , , , | | Right | May 14, 2019

(I work in an electronic retail store as a manager. Over the past year, we have been hit by a scammer doing fraudulent returns on items he has stolen. Basically, all of the managers have been tricked by him, including me. I see him come into the store and immediately greet him, and he luckily doesn’t recognize me. It would be easy to simply call him out and refuse his return but it’s a slow day.)

Me: “Hello, how can I help you?”

Customer: *said to the person he is on the phone with* “This girl is standing here looking at me like she doesn’t even want to help me! I’m just a big inconvenience to her!”

(I remain calm, as this is part of what he does: try to fluster the manager.)

Me: “Sir, I don’t believe I have given you any reason to think you are an inconvenience. If you would let me know what I can help you with, I would be more than happy to assist you.”

Customer: “I have a return. I bought these laptops for a summer camp, but we ended up not needing half of them. I already talked to [Store Manager] and she approved it.”

Me: “Great! I can certainly help you with that. Can I see your receipt?”

Customer: “I don’t have it, but as I already said, I met with [Store Manager] and she said that you would take care of me. You’re going to do that, right? I would really hate to have to bother your bosses and let them know you aren’t helping me out.”

(I know he is lying. Our manager would never approve such a large return without a receipt.)

Me: “Sure, let’s go over to the return desk and I’ll get it started.”

(He continues to talk to the person on the phone, again stating that I am giving him attitude and that he is going to have to have a talk with the store manager about how rude I am. I ignore him, start to scan the items, and call the store manager at home. She picks up after a few rings.)

Me: “Hi, sorry to bother you on your vacation, but I have a gentleman here who says that he talked to you about doing a receiptless return on about $3,500 in laptops.”

Store Manager: “I absolutely did not talk to anyone about a return. Is this that same guy that keeps coming in?”

Me: “Yep, it sure is. Just wanted to confirm.”

(The entire time I’m having this conversation, the customer isn’t paying attention and is still bad-mouthing me on the phone, trying to be intimidating.)

Me: “Sir, I just got off the phone with [Store Manager] and she has no idea who you are. Honestly, I’m surprised that you keep coming back and running this same scam. You’ve actually already pulled this same thing with me a year ago, so I know exactly what you are doing.”

(The customer goes pale and starts to back away. He tries to push the cart full of stolen laptops with him. I grab it firmly.)

Me: “You can leave those here, as I know you stole them. I have you on camera and I will be immediately calling the police.”

(He bolted out the door. One of my coworkers who was nearby chased him down and wrote down his license plate. I called the police and gave a report. We later found out that upon searching his house they found close to $50,000 in stolen merchandise from stores all over the city. He had also been flagged by numerous loss prevention teams in other stores.)

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