I am travelling on the bus from Vancouver to Seattle. As I am getting on the bus, I see another traveller rock up who immediately looks suspicious. He’s arrived with zero luggage and looks far too relaxed. Something about his body language and demeanour looks funny, and a couple of travellers even mention the fact he has no luggage. I put this down to me just being paranoid and decide that as long as he’s not causing trouble I’ll pay him no mind.

When we get to the US/Canada border, his demeanour immediately changes. He appears a little more jittery and nervous and begins to pace around. Immediately, one of the US border agents takes notice. 

Border Agent: “Hey, sir… Are you all right? Why are you pacing around so much?”

The guy tries to ignore him.

Border Agent: “Sir… why are you pacing around?”

The guy then gives him an extremely arrogant sneer and shrugs. Instantly, all of us can tell this was a dumb move! 

Border Agent: “Come with me, please, sir!”

He gestures for him to follow, but the guy remains rooted to the spot.

Border Agent: “Sir, come this way immediately!”

The guy very sheepishly followed him into the building. When we left the border, the guy wasn’t on the bus. I have no idea what he was doing, but I have a feeling it was illicit. The lesson here when dealing with border agents: don’t be that guy!

I’m walking in the city when a woman stops me. Through broken English, she explains she is new to the country and lost. She doesn’t want money but does ask if I can walk her to the bus station. She seems quite helpless and nice, so I start to walk with her, but before I know it, I’m surrounded and feel very vulnerable. 

Me: “The bus station is just down there.”

I pick up speed.

Woman: “Wait, walk with me some more.”

Me: “Nope.”

The others start to pick up speed, too. Clearly, this is a setup for pickpocketing or worse. I run toward a shop and dart inside. They call the police and, to my surprise, the group waits outside.

The police arrive and they speak to the group before coming inside.

Police: “I’m told that you took something from that woman and ran off.”

Me: “Is that what they told you? No, they started to follow me. I think it was a pickpocket scam.”

Police: “They allege you took money and jewellery.”

Me: “I doubt they gave you any description. Keep things vague, huh?”

Police: “I’m just telling you the information they gave me. Do you have any cash or jewellery on you?”

Me: “No, I don’t carry cash on me. And the only jewellery I have is my wedding ring, but look: it’s inscribed.”

I take off my ring and show it to him. He hands it back to me and tells me to stay inside. He speaks to the crowd, and when backup arrives, they arrest all of them that don’t run off. I head back outside.

Me: “So…”

Police: “We have everything we need.”

Me: “Do I need to give a statement or anything?”

Police: “Please do when you next have a chance to, but it’s unlikely we will be able to bring any charges against them on that front.”

Me: “But you’re arresting them anyway?”

Police: “Oh, yes. They gave fake names; however, the fake names were already wanted. Luckily, one of the officers recognised them and we believe them to be wanted on a number of other charges.”

Me: “Not the brightest criminals.”

Police: “And yet far from the worst. Stay safe.”

I’m a digital content producer and have been working with one of our engineers on designing a print brochure to promote one of our types of insulation.  

Engineer: “I don’t like this photo you chose.”

Me: “Okay, that’s just a placeholder image. Do you have a photo you’d like to use?”

Engineer: “Share your screen and let’s look at Google.”

I do so, thinking he’s going to show me some ideas of what he’s looking for so I can buy a stock image. 

Engineer: “That one, second row, far right. That looks good, let’s go with that.”

Me: “…That’s a copyrighted promotional image for the Home Depot, we can’t use that.”

Engineer: “I don’t think they’ll mind.”

Me: “I still can’t use it as-is and we don’t have time to get permission to use it.”

Engineer: “I don’t know if you know this about me, but I’m kind of a “ask forgiveness rather than permission” kind of guy.”

Me: “And I’m kind of a “I’d rather not get sued” kind of girl.”

I didn’t use the image.

I’ve worked for a woodworking company since I was eighteen. Across from my company is a [Coffee Shop], and every morning and lunch I go there to eat. It’s also where a lot of my friends work.

It’s right at the height of the health crisis, my company is closed, and I’m stuck on a schedule: wake up, go to [Coffee Shop], eat, and that would be the time I would go to work. Now, I just chill at [Coffee Shop] and help out since they were my first job when I was sixteen. This goes on for a week.

I’m exhausted from working at [Coffee Shop]. It’s very different from woodworking; I forgot about that. I’m meditating in one of the lounge chairs they have in the lobby. Then, a woman walks in, places her order, and comes over to me.

Woman: “You can’t be sleeping here. You have to go.”

I am already out of f***s at this point.

Me: “Who are you?”

Woman: “Just get out of the store.”

Me: “No, I don’t have to.”

Woman: “Homeless people aren’t allowed in the store.”

Me: “First—

Woman: “You vagrant! I’m sleeping with the owner. I can call the police and have you removed!”

Me: “Go for it.”

The woman called the police and then told them I’d attacked her. The police came, and before anyone could say anything, my best friend — who is also the owner and loves to be a jerk when presented with the chance — told the police, loudly enough that everyone in the store could hear him, that he thought that the woman was prostituting herself around the [Coffee Shop] property. The woman went white as the police started questioning her. I thought that was it.

It wasn’t.

The woman had a warrant out for her arrest for identity theft, and when they searched her, they found several cards and IDs with other people’s names on them. It was perfect.

This story is part of our Best Of October 2021 roundup!

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I’m at the pump, just starting to fill up. A guy carrying a green petrol can comes up to me.

Man: “Hey, could you put a couple of quid in here? It won’t let me put in less than five and I don’t need that much.”

Me: “Err, that’s petrol, right? I’m filling up with diesel.”

Man: “Oh, come on, man. I only want a couple of quids’ worth.”

Me: “Again, I’m not filling up with petrol. I’m using diesel. This isn’t what you want?”

Man: “Mate, I’ve broken down. I only need enough to get me home.”

Me: “Are you drunk? Do you want petrol or diesel?”

Man: “I don’t care, any.”

Massive alarm bells started ringing. His story made no sense. I made up a lie about going to pay for my fuel before getting his. Luckily, the staff were half decent and eventually called the police. The guy started to get real nervous and ran off just before they got there, but they caught him anyway.

It turned out that the guy was drunk, had no licence, and had stolen his friend’s car, which ran out of petrol almost immediately. I guess this wasn’t the first time as he ended up with jail time.