Next Time Order Him Pink

| Working | September 26, 2014

(I’m responsible for buying equipment and try to buy different colours of gloves so they’re easy to tell apart.)

Assistant: “Hey, I still need new safety gloves.”

Me: “Yeah, you’ve mentioned that a couple times in the last month and a half. There’s a replacement pair in the cupboard.”

Assistant: “I know, but I don’t want those gloves. They’re gay.”

Me: “Wait. What?”

Assistant: “Look at them. They’re mint green. They’re gay.”

Me: “Take [Other Coworker]’s gloves, then. They’re brown and he’s only worn them once.”

Assistant: “Okay, I’ll do that.”

(I guess brown gloves are heterosexual?)

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No Pain, No Brain, Part 3

| Working | July 12, 2013

(My coworker is new, but his training period at the crematorium has already ended. Part of our job is taking remains from the retort and removing the metal screws/staples/handles.)

Coworker: “Ouch. Ouch!”

Me: “You okay over there?”

Coworker: “Yeah. This metal is still hot.”

Me: “Well, it just came out of a 400 degree oven. Wait, why aren’t you wearing your safety gloves?”

Coworker: “Bah, safety equipment is for sissies.” *continues working* “Ouch!”


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