Decease And Desist That Check!

, , , , , | Working | July 21, 2019

(I work as a part-time teller at a very small local credit union. We are close to the merger date with a slightly larger local credit union who uses completely different software. I go for training on the software one-on-one with the training manager. I want to do my best, so I am very thorough with my transactions and verifications… maybe a bit too thorough at times. The manager has real transaction slips from years past, as well as some fake ones that they made up to allow us to learn a variety of scenarios. Because these are all real customers in the training database, some of the accounts have been closed since, so she has to give me a different transaction as a replacement.)

Manager: “Okay, so, here’s a customer that wants to cash an ‘on us’ check. We’re going to assume they are standing in front of us, and you already verified their ID. First, verify the signature on the check by looking up the account and pulling the signature file.”

Me: “Okay.” *pulls up the account* “The signature looks good.”

Manager: “Great. Then go through the transaction to cash a check.”

Me: “Wait!”

Manager: “What?”

Me: “There’s a note on this account… It says she is deceased.”

Manager: “Okay. I guess I’ll have to find a different check to cash…”

Me: “Deceased people can’t sign checks. Plus, this check is from 2015, so it’s way out of the 180-day range. Don’t cash the check! I smell fraud!”

Manager: *bursts out laughing* “Okay, well, it’s good that you’re checking everything! I think you’ll be just fine once we switch software!”

Me: “So, did I pass the test? I wasn’t sure if it was a curveball to throw me off.”

Manager: “Nope, just a training transaction that I have to shred now. You’re doing great!”

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Liquid Electricity

, , , | Right | May 20, 2019

(I am at my credit union depositing checks. They are displaying one of those small three-door smart cars inside the branch and another customer is talking to a teller about it.)

Customer: “D***, look at that little car! It’s supposed to save you money, right?”

Teller: “That’s right, sir. It’s a hybrid and get’s 107 miles per gallon.”

Customer: “So, it’s all electric, then?”

Me: “Yep, it gets 107 miles per gallon of electricity!”

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Don’t Bank On Them Getting The Right Account

, , , | Working | May 13, 2019

(I was adopted at birth. I grew up 30 miles away from where I was born, and recently moved to a town halfway between both towns. I have an older half-sister through my bio dad, but we’ve never met because he won’t tell me who she is. This happens when I walk into the local branch of my credit union to change my address. My name will be Jane, for simplicity.)

Me: “Hi, I need a change of address form, please. I just moved here. I’d like to get some cash out, too.”

Teller: “Ashley! Haven’t seen you in years! When did you move out of [Birth Town]?! How’s your mom? Oh, right, here’s your form. And your cash. How much would you like?”

Me: “Just $100, but—“

Teller: *types some information into her computer as I try to show her my ID, and she keeps chattering away* “And you remember my son, Brian? Boy will never get his head on straight, the way his dad spoils him. Hang on. I’ll go grab your cash.”

Me: “Wait!”

(She brings the cash to the counter, counts it out, and pushes it towards me.)

Teller: “There you are, hon. Now, say hi to your mom for me. Anything else I can help you with?”

Me: *pushes the cash back towards her* “Yeah. I can’t accept this, and I’d like to speak to your manager.”

(An older woman looks up from the counter next door, where she was typing on a computer.)

Manager: “May I help you?”

Me: “Yes. This is my first time in this building. I have never seen this woman before, she kept talking like I was somebody else, and she never asked for ID when I wanted to take cash out. This means she went into some random person’s account and removed cash.”

Teller: “Ashley, what are you talking about? I’ve known you your whole life!”

Me: *pulls out my ID* “My name is Jane. I just moved here. I don’t know you; I have never seen you before. If you’d let me speak, you would’ve known that! Maybe you thought I was my half-sister?”

(The teller turned bright red and fled into the back. The manager apologized, put the cash back into the original account, and waited while I changed my address and took out cash from my own account. I still haven’t met my sister, but this will make a great story for when I do!)

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Needs Some Transfer Of Knowledge

, , , , | Right | February 3, 2019

(The following exchange happens to my coworker, but I am less than ten feet away and have no customers of my own, so I hear everything firsthand.)

Coworker: “Good morning. Can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I want you to explain something to me.” *pulls out bank statement* “You charged me an overdraft fee on my checking account, and I want it reversed. I’ve never had a zero balance. I’ve been close, but it’s never been zero.”

Coworker: “Let me take a look at this.”

Customer: “See here?” *points* “You charged me a $12.47 overdraft fee. It shouldn’t have happened. You transferred $500 out of my account on [date], when it should have been $400. I’m trying to balance my account, and I’m $100 short. You took my money, and I need it back.”

Coworker: “Well, first of all, the overdraft fee is $29.00, not $12.47. What you’re seeing here is an overdraft transfer. You are signed up for overdraft protection, so when your balance gets to zero, it pulls from your savings account. This is just taking $12.47 from your savings and putting it into your checking. We didn’t take any money from you.”

Customer: “Well, it shouldn’t have happened in the first place! What about the $100? Where did that go?”

Coworker: “Again, we didn’t take any money. The $500 was transferred from your checking to your savings, so it was always in one of your accounts.”

Customer: “But it was supposed to be $400, not $500! One of you screwed up!”

Coworker: “I can just transfer $100 back if you want. And… wait a minute… Let me look at this for a sec… This says the transfer was done online.”

Customer: “No, one of you did it.”

Coworker: “Ma’am, it shows right here. The transfer was done online through home banking. We don’t have any access to your account online, so there is no way we could have done anything.”

Me: *cutting in* “You should have received an email confirming the transfer. I know I get one every time I do a transfer online. And you can check your transaction history online, too.”

Customer: *realizing she made a mistake* “Oh… Maybe I did do that… Okay, yes, please transfer the $100 back into the account. Thanks. Bye.” *leaves*

Me: “And this is why we can’t do telephone transfers anymore…”

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Driving Thru All Common Sense

, , , | Right | December 20, 2018

(I am a teller at a credit union. It is a Saturday and I am covering the phones in the basement. Our credit union has about nine different locations. I answer a phone call and this happens:)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Credit Union]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I think I left my ID in your drive-thru; can you check for me?”

Me: “I can look into that. Can you just tell me which location you were at so I can contact them to check?”

Customer: “I don’t understand; I just need to see if I left my ID there. Do you have it?”

Me: “We have nine different locations, so I have to know which one to contact to check if they have your ID.”

Customer: “I just need to know if you have my ID!”

Me: “I just need to know which location you went to.”

Customer: “Great! I’ll be by to pick it up soon!” *hangs up*

Me: “…?”

(A while later I went upstairs to scan my check and could hear the tellers helping the drive-thru customers. I heard my coworker say, “You called to find your ID? I don’t see it here. They told you it was here?” I about lost my mind. I explained the situation to the teller, and the dude left, all mad. I never told him we had his ID.)

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