Years ago, when my mother and grandmother visited the UK (from the US). Weeks before they left, my mother contacted three of her credit card companies to tell them, “I’ll be in the UK from [date #1] to [date #2]. Please do not block my card; those transactions really are from me.” The credit card companies assured her they wouldn’t block her card.

Lo and behold, she got to the UK and tried to use [card #1]… and it was blocked. She tried to use [card #2]… and it was blocked. She’d hoped to spread out her transactions over all three cards, but she was forced to only use [card #3] for the entire trip.

When she called the first two companies (while she was in the UK) to try to get things straightened out, they refused to unblock the cards until she got back to the US, “For her protection!”

Both companies were very surprised when she canceled both accounts once she got back home.

After an hour on the phone with someone trying to help them access their credit card’s account online, I have to send them a password reset. They’re a little older, so I use simple language when helping them navigate windows and pop-ups.

Me: “You can leave the credit card page open by clicking the long flat line button next to the red X in the top right corner. That should put that screen down, and go check your email with the webpage still at the bottom of the page.”

The phone goes quiet for a moment, and I hear some shuffling.

Caller: “Okay! I’ve put it down, but now I can’t see my email.”

Me: “Well, what do you see?”

Caller: “Uh, my wall?”

He had laid the monitor FLAT on the desk.

I received a message on my answering machine — remember back when those were a thing? — about my credit card company wanting to confirm some suspicious charges. They were all mine from a vacation, but I still called in and was in the process of verifying them when, faintly in the background, I heard an announcement apparently being played over an intercom for everyone in the building.

Intercom: “Attention, all employees: we have an announcement about the recent hurricane warning…”

The employee helping me stopped talking when the announcement started, but apparently, he realized he should say something to me around now.

Man: “Oh, umm… One second, please.”

Me: “Of course.”

Intercom: “There is no reason to be concerned. We ask you stay away from the windows and at your desk and continue work as usual. We will keep you abreast of any updates.”

Man: “I’m sorry, ma’am, for that delay. We can get back to your account now.”

Me: “No problem. That sounded like an important announcement.”

Man: “Oh, you could hear that? Sorry. I expected the phone to automatically mute. I guess it was louder than I realized.”

Me: “So, they’re having you work during a hurricane?”

Man: “Apparently? I’ve been here for eight and a half hours cut off from news, so that was the first I’ve heard about it.”

Me: “Are you okay?”

Man: “Well, so far, no cows are flying past the windows, so I think so. I’m sure everything will be fine. Now, I think we only had two more charges to verify…”

He kept on working like that despite seeming a bit shocked to find out he might be in the middle of a hurricane. That’s dedication to your job right there!

I am calling a customer because he is several months overdue on their credit card payments and has ignored our letters and emails. I have surprised him by calling from an alternative number, and since I have him on the phone, he’s agreed to go through the security questions.

Me: “Okay. Now, sir, you are almost four months behind on your credit card payments. Would you be in a position to make a payment today, or is there a financing plan that would—”

Customer: “I’m not in a position! I’m in the hospital!”

I can hear the TV in the background and a dog barking fairly close by, but I give him the benefit of the doubt.

Me: “Oh, I am sorry to hear that, sir. In that case, I was about to talk about our financing that—”

Customer: “I’ll be in the hospital for months! I’ll call you back when I am out!”

Me: “Again, I am sorry to hear that you’re in the hospital, sir, but I do need to resolve this issue with you. Could I call you back later today, or tomorrow if that’s more convenient?”

Customer: “I won’t be able to pick up later! I won’t have any arms!”

Me: “Uh…”

Customer: “They’re being amputated! And I’ll also be in a coma! For months!”

Me: “Sir, I… will put a note of that on your account. I will try again tomorrow, just in case.”

Customer: “I can’t come to the phone tomorrow! They’re amputating my legs!”

Me: “…as well as your arms?”

Customer: “…” *Click*

I put a note on the system. I checked back on his account a few weeks later and someone had spoken to him again. This time, he couldn’t talk to us because he had been drafted and was about to go to war for “many months, maybe years.”

I wish our bank would stop giving everyone credit cards!

I work in a call center for a credit card company. An older woman calls in to dispute a charge for a mattress on her credit card.

Caller: “I shouldn’t be charged because I haven’t signed for the item!”

Me: “Do you still have the mattress?”

Caller: “Yes.”

Me: “So, you’ve attempted to return the mattress and they refused to pick it up?”

Caller: “No, I don’t want to return the mattress. I need the mattress; my old mattress had bedbugs. But I didn’t sign the receipt, so I’m not paying for it.”

Me: “So, you have the mattress, and you’re using the mattress, but you don’t feel you should be charged for it?”

Caller: “No! I didn’t sign the receipt! It’s illegal to charge me for it.”

It turned out that she had ordered a new mattress because she had bedbugs but hadn’t taken care of the bedbug problem first. When the delivery men got there, they couldn’t install the mattress because there were still bedbugs in the house. They left the mattress in the hallway with the order slip, which she had not signed, and later in the day, she put in the new mattress herself.