The store is very busy as they have some sales happening. I’m waiting to try on a pair of shoes in a size that’s in the back, so I am a witness to this exchange at the register. The cashier has been working at breakneck speed the entire time I’ve been there to get through the long line.

Customer: *Tossing a pair of shoes onto the counter.* “I want these shoes, but I’m not paying that price.”

Cashier: “Then I guess you’re not getting them.” *Moves pair of shoes aside.* “Next customer!”

The customer has a ‘wait what?!’ look on her face as the cashier waves the next customer over and starts checking them out. It took another moment or two for the customer to realize what had happened, and how little the cashier gave a f*** about her attempt at haggling.

By the time the cashier had finished serving the next customer, she had sheepishly slid the shoes back toward the cashier without a word, holding out her credit card. She paid for them silently and walked out of the store looking a little embarrassed. It was glorious to behold.

A guy comes in to donate something that we can’t accept.

Customer: “Yes, you can! The lady I talked to this morning on the phone said we could!”

Me: “On Sundays, we open at midday. There wasn’t anyone working this morning.”

Customer: *Doubling down.* “Yes, there was! I spoke to her, and she said she was the owner!”

Me: “Well, our female owner died a couple of years ago, and her husband took over after she passed. Could you please tell me what number you dialed as he’d be thrilled to have a direct connection to the other side.”

A customer answers her phone just as she starts unloading her groceries onto the conveyor belt.

Customer: *Into her phone.* “Oh, hi. No, I’m not doing anything important. Just grocery shopping, I can talk.”

And talk she does. Non-stop. Meanwhile, all the scanned groceries are piling up. She puts her bags up at the end of the belt, so I just stop until she realises I need them. 

She tuts, rolls her eyes, picks them up, and practically throws them at me.

Customer: *To her phone.* “No, that wasn’t for you. The cashier is being a bit of a b****.”

Moving from passive-aggressive to just aggressive!

I’m normally a bit fussy about how I pack a customer’s bags, but not this time. I do keep soft fruit, bread, and cleaning products separate (I’m not a monster), but for the rest, I don’t care.

Customer: *Interrupting her phone call.* “Uh, excuse me, you’re bagging it wrong.”

Me: “It’s just grocery shopping, ma’am. It’s not important. Keep talking to your friend!”

Customer: *Staring at me, but talking to her phone.* “I’m gonna call you back.”

She hung up and did her own bagging (yay!) while I finished scanning her items in silence (from both of us!).

I’m in the drive-thru at a very busy fast-food place. I am used to the wait, as it’s the only decent place in a large area.

The car ahead of me is ordering their food and starts to complain about the wait.

Customer: “Do you know how long we’ve been waiting?!”

The cashier smiles and wordlessly points to a sign on the window.

Customer: “Well… that’s… not good enough!”

Cashier: “$16.88, please!”

The customer taps their card on the machine and pulls forward to the pickup window. I pull up to pay for my order, and laugh when I see the sign that the cashier had pointed to:

Sign: “Don’t like the wait? Ask for an application and show us how it’s done!”

I work at a cocktail bar.

Customer: “Can I get a non-alcoholic Manhattan?”

Me: “Uh, not really, no. That cocktail isn’t really viable as a non-alcoholic version.”

Customer: “I see, it’s my fault as I phrased it like a question. I want a non-alcoholic Manhattan.”

Me: “Doesn’t matter how you phrase it, ma’am, I can’t make you a virgin version of a cocktail that’s essentially all alcohol.”

Customer: “This place is meant to be the best cocktail bar in the city, and with the prices you charge, I expect you to give the customer what they want.”

Me: “I can suggest some non-alcoholic options that might have the same flavor profile, but—”

Customer: “Non… alcoholic… Manhattan.”

So I brought over a martini glass with a cherry in it.