They Bagged You From A Distance

, , , , | Right | September 28, 2017

(I’m working third shift in a convenience store that is locally known for their dairy and doughnuts. We get fresh doughnuts every night, and my coworker takes about an hour to put them away. He’s currently on a weight restriction where he can’t lift more than three pounds, so tonight I’m putting away doughnuts for him while he runs the register. A customer comes in trying to buy beer, but we have a strict policy for IDs if you appear under 40. The customer is denied the sale. She then brings an eight-pound bag of ice up to the counter.)

Customer: “Can I get this bagged, please?”

Coworker: “Sure.” *gets the bag* “Though I’m currently on a weight restriction right now and can’t lift the ice into the bag.”

Customer: “Okay. Do you have another employee who can?”

Coworker: “I guess?”

(He called me over, forcing me to put down a tray of doughnuts and take off my gloves, to walk over and put the ice into the bag. Then she picked up the bag with the ice and just walked out. We are still confused as to why she made me bag the ice when she could have easily done it.)

The Only Trauma Is For The Parent

, , , , , | Right | September 27, 2017

(Our gym is right next to an adult store that has several mannequins in lingerie.)

Customer: *in a fury* “How can you be right next to that disgusting store?! My kids will be traumatized!”

Me: “Sorry, but we have no control over that.”

Customer: “Hmph!”

(She pushes her kids, who look like teenagers, out the door. I can see her yelling and banging on the adult store’s door until an employee comes out. The employee speaks to her, and the crazy customer swings at her, misses, and stomps off. Then the employee comes into my gym.)

Me: “You okay? She’s crazy.”

Employee: “I guess I shouldn’t have told her that I’ve seen her kids try to sneak in there!”

The Road To A Write-Up Is Paved With Good Intentions

, , , , , | Right | September 27, 2017

(I work for a company responsible for getting manufactured items to the end users. [Customer #1] sends out a group email with a number of people involved, including others within her company and a number of people at my company.)

Customer #1: “Hello, [Customer #2]! Please give me the status of order number [number]. This is an extremely important order and I need an update as soon as possible.”

(I see the email, and knowing that [Customer #2] won’t be in the office for another hour or so, I go ahead and answer the email, replying to all.)

Me: “Hello, [Customer #1]! We actually finished processing that order last night, and you will have it today by noon. Please let me know if you have any other questions.”

(You might think that would be the end of the story. Oh, no. [Customer #2] called my manager’s manager to ream me out for making her look bad. She insisted that I should be suspended without pay because I had responded to an email that was addressed to her. Never mind the fact that the only way she would have gotten this information would have been to contact me, have me look it up and then respond to [Customer 1]. It didn’t matter that by the time [Customer #1] would have gotten that answer, the shipment would have already delivered. This has been the only time I’ve ever been written up for providing good customer service.)

Goat Eggs For Veterans

, , , , | Right | September 27, 2017

(I work tech support for a satellite company. The customer I’m speaking with is getting a signal lost on one receiver, and we are setting up a service call for a tech. This customer has already stated to me that he’s had a few beers, but has been otherwise normal up until this.)

Me: “Would you have any special instructions for the tech? Gates, animals, hidden driveways?”

Customer: “Can he bring me a goat?”

Me: “I’m sorry. Our tech can’t bring a goat.”

Customer: “But you asked about special instructions. I want him to bring me a goat.”

Me: “He cannot bring you an animal.”

Customer: “What about eggs? Can he bring me eggs?”

Me: “No, sir. He would not have anything like that available to bring.”

Customer: “I bet if I told you I was a veteran, it would be different.”

Needs A Stamp Of Reality

, , , | Right | September 26, 2017

(I’m waiting in line behind an older customer who seems disturbed about something. The nicest clerk calls her up. The customer is complaining that the only books of stamps they have are Christmas themed.)

Customer: “I went to the other post office, and all they had was Christmas stamps. I thought your office would be more updated.”

Clerk: “Sorry, but I don’t have any control over what stamps we carry.”

(She grumbles off and the clerk calls me up.)

Me: “I’ll take Christmas stamps…”

Clerk: “Yeah, my son was in the Peace Corps in Kazakhstan for three years. To reach the post office, it took three buses. And when they had to wait for a bus, they had to stand back-to-back to watch out for the wolves.”

Me: “Holy cats.”

Clerk: “Yeah, so, when people like that come in… I just don’t get it.”

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