Not Suited To The Task

, , , , , | Right | November 30, 2017

(I am walking into my job, carrying my purse and lunchbox and wearing a jacket over my store t-shirt. A customer watches me walk in and then approaches me.)

Customer: “Hey, can you help me?”

Me: “Um, this isn’t my department. Why don’t I get someone from the Men’s Department over here for you.”

Customer: “But I need help with this suit now, not in half an hour!”

Me: “I’m sure I can get someone over here quickly. I really don’t know anything about the suits and I am not even clocked in yet.”

Customer: “But you work here, so you should be able to help me.”

Me: *getting desperate* “I can’t carry my things around the store. Security doesn’t like that.”

Customer: “I’m sure it will be fine. Now, does this suit come in black or gray? I need a 34.”

Me: “I really don’t know.” *I catch sight of a coworker who actually works in the suit section* “[COWORKER]! Could you please help this gentleman find a suit?”

Customer: “No, I asked you to help me, not to pawn me off on someone else.”

Me: “Sir, I really don’t know anything about the suits. [Coworker] knows everything about them, and she can certainly help you much more than I can.”

(I turned and practically ran to the break room. Later on my manager said that the man had complained about my attitude, and about the fact that I was carrying my purse and lunch bag around the store.)

Do you hate bad behavior? Then you're going to love our Antisocial collection in the NAR Store!

Putting Complaining Into Overtime

, , , , , , | Right | November 30, 2017

(At 6:45 pm the store starts to close. We make announcements to alert customers that the store will be closing in 15, then ten, and then five minutes time. At 6:45, we close the fitting rooms to stop customers from hiding or spending too long trying on clothes when the store closes at 7:00. I am doing the closing announcements when an irate customer storms up to the customer service desk. It is currently 6:55 pm, and we only have supervisors on the floor due to the late hour and to the fact our floor is small and understaffed.)

Customer: “I want to make a complaint! One of your staff was rude!”

Coworker: “Would you like to speak to a manager?”

Customer: “NO! I don’t want to talk to someone; I want to write this down. Give me an address I can write a complaint to. An email address!”

Coworker: “I can give you the head office’s address if you want.” *starts to search for the information*

Me: *indicates where to find the information, which lacks an email*

Coworker: “If you write to this address, you can make your complaint.”

Customer: “No, I don’t want to write a complaint; I want to send an email. Give me an email.”

Me: “We don’t have an email for head office; we could give you a manager’s email for this store, if you want?”

(My coworker and I then try to contact a supervisor to find out if we’re able to provide the manager’s email. In the midst of doing, this the customer changes their mind again!)

Customer: “No, I don’t want to write anything; let me talk to a manager right now!”

Coworker: “Er, yes, I can get you a manager; wait a moment.”

(They then call over a supervisor to locate an absent manager. I call the 7:00 pm closing announcement, and the manager still has not been found. We make an announcement asking for a manager to contact our floor but are still left waiting.)

Supervisor: “There isn’t a manager available right now; is this something we can resolve ourselves?”

Customer: “Yes, I don’t know. Your staff downstairs was very rude! I wanted to try on one top but she wouldn’t let me in the fitting room. I didn’t see her name.”

Coworker: “That’s okay; we can work out who it was by the shift roster if you like. I’m sorry that this has happened. We’ll just wait for the manager to take details.”

Customer: “I’ve never been spoken to so rudely before! I want to make a complaint.”

Supervisor: *comes over to try and help* “Do you need to speak to a manager? I can probably help.”

Customer: “Yes, it was the girl on the fitting rooms! I want to make a complaint.”

(Finally the store assistant manager turns up. It’s now 7:10 pm and the security guard is waiting to escort the last customer out so he can go home.)

Manager: “Yes, how can I help?”

Customer: “I want to complain about one of your staff!”

Manager: “All right, then, what happened?”

Customer: “Oh, I don’t want to get anyone in trouble.”

(They then left without taking any offered information or resolving the fuss they had made for the last 25 minutes!)

Pre-Show Entertainment

, , , , | Right | November 30, 2017

(At our theater, the online ordering part of our ticketing software includes a “Comments” section on each order. Most people leave the field blank, but some include relevant questions or complaints. Recently, someone left this comment on their order:)

Comment: “When I come for the tickets, offer a fist bump. I will then say, ‘Paper covers rock,’ and put my hand over your fist. You’ll know it’s me.”

(I’m a somewhat socially awkward person who benefits from the rules and boundaries of customer service, so I find this both hilarious and a little terrifying. I tell a much more extroverted coworker she has to do it. She is delighted.)

Coworker: “Are you picking up tickets?”

Customer: “Yes, they’re under [Customer].”

Coworker: *gleefully whispers* “This is my moment!” *hands over tickets, offers fist*

Customer: *puts his hand over hers* “Paper covers rock.”

Coworker: “Woo!”

(The customer’s party cracks up.)

Me: “Well done.”

A Question So Dumb That The Title-Writer Quit

, , , , , , , | Right | November 29, 2017

(A woman comes to the front desk with an adult toy.)

Customer: “Can I try this out before I buy it?”

Wanted Anything… Except THAT

, , , , , , , | Right | November 29, 2017

Waitress: “And what would you like to drink?”

Me: “I don’t know. Anything. Surprise me.”

(She gives me this devilish smile that makes me instantly feel like I’m going to regret this.)

Waitress: “So, just to clarify: you want anything?”

Me: “Yep. Go crazy.”

Waitress: “I’ll be right back.”

(She comes back a few minutes later and sets my drink down on the table. She has made me a “root beer” float with mint chocolate chip ice cream and rainbow sprinkles, only instead of using root beer she has mixed [Dark Soda], [Lemon Lime Soda], and fruit punch. And then, once I start drinking it, I realize there is a strip of bacon torn into pieces at the bottom. It is the grossest thing I’ve ever had, but I drink it, anyway, because I really did say, “Anything.” The waitress returns later to ask how everything is.)

Waitress: “Holy crap! You actually drank that?”

Me: “Yes. If you ever see me in here after this and I ask you to surprise me again, please slap me with a menu and make me actually pick something.”

(She brought me some chocolate milk to wash the taste down and didn’t charge me for the first drink, because, apparently, the fact that I actually drank it was the funniest thing ever to her and her coworkers.)

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