Never Discount The Customer’s Ability To Complain

, , , , , | Right | March 13, 2018

(I’m heading to the checkout of a clothing store with one item. A lady with a full buggy cuts me off. I see that she has one enormous item with a few smaller ones, so I don’t say anything in the hope that she’ll get through quickly. I don’t pay any more attention until I hear the cashier call for a manager.)

Cashier: *to manager* “She has a coupon for a free item when she has [total]. I scanned it, but it won’t go through.”

(I can see the screen from where I’m standing, and see that due to heavy discounting and another coupon, the customer hasn’t made [total]. But I keep quiet.)

Manager: *punches a few buttons and says to cashier* “Because of the percent-off coupon, she didn’t have [total] for the free gift, but I gave it to her, anyway.”

(The cashier nods and goes on with the transaction, but the customer speaks up loudly, ignoring the cashier’s request to swipe her card and sign.)

Customer: “You had [the large item] on sale, a 30% off coupon, and the free gift all in the same flyer. You shouldn’t do that!”

(The cashier asks her to swipe her card; the customer ignores this and keeps going on loudly.)

Customer: “There’s too many discounts! There’s too many discounts!”

(The customer finally completes the transaction and leaves, muttering about too many discounts all the way out the door.)

Me: *to cashier* “I’ve never heard someone complain about paying less!”

Doesn’t Have A Nice Ring To It

, , , , , | Right | March 9, 2018

(I’m working a normal day in a restaurant, and everything is going fairly well until this happens. A customer approaches me at the front counter.)

Customer: “Hi, excuse me. How many onion rings do you get in one order?”

Me: *thinking* “Uh, should be five. Did you not get that many?”

Customer: “No, I did, I was just thinking, is that all you get?”

Me: “Um…Yes? Were they really tiny?” *gestures a one inch diameter circle*

Customer: “No, they were all this big.” *gestures a large three inch diameter*

(Usually we do not give out even three onion rings of this size, so this lady has had a fairly generous order.)

Me: “Yeah, that sounds about right.”

Customer: “That’s really all you get? For two dollars? You only get five onion rings?!”

Me: *dumbfounded* “Yeaaaaahhh.”

(I am so confused; usually people like our onion rings because of the different breading and because they are so large.)

Customer: “Well, then. We’ll never come here again.”

Me: “Okay? Have a nice day!”

The Couponator 4: Deadly Discounts

, , , , , | Right | March 9, 2018

(I’ve worked part-time at this location of a nation-wide department store for several years, and by now I am the most senior employee in the women’s clothing department. I’m good at customer service, and a lot of our customers know and like me, which has its upsides and downsides. I am serving [Customer #1], a woman in her 60s who talks about all the trips she takes abroad, and the souvenirs she buys for hundreds to thousands of dollars, while she won’t buy anything from us that runs over $15. She is also incredibly picky about her purchases and the way they’re folded and bagged, and she refuses to ring up with anybody but me, since I’m the only one who “does it right.” Standing in line behind her is [Customer #2], a woman in her 40s for whom I once tracked down a $20-off coupon, who has also insisted I be the one to ring her up ever since. She has a habit of coming to me to check prices on everything she finds, walking right past the price scanner, and several times has asked me to wait in the middle of a transaction so she can grab more of a cheap item, even if the item is on the second floor and there are several people in line behind her. This is the first time I’ve had to deal with these two customers one after the other.)

Customer #1: “Hi, my dear. How are you?” *she sets six clearance shirts on the register* “These should all be $9.99.”

(I smile even while dreading this transaction, because that’s the classic line customers give when they KNOW that stuff isn’t the price they think it “should” be. This customer acts like a sweet grandmother when kept happy, but turns instantly mean when she doesn’t get what she wants.)

Me: “Let’s see… Oh, it looks like these two that say $9.99 on the tag are okay, but these four that say, ‘75% off,’ are from the clearance rack next to it.”

Customer #1: *suddenly scowls* “That’s it. Get me your manager. I’ve told them time and time again: I won’t put up with this here. This is ridiculous; nothing is ever in its proper place—”

Me: “I apologize for that; we just had our big sale yesterday, and unfortunately, we haven’t been able to finish putting back everything that was misplaced. Let me go ahead and adjust those for you.”

Customer #1: *smiling again* “Oh, thank you, my dear. You’re always so kind.”

(She talks about her last expensive trip while I ring her up, changing all the clearance items that were already only $10 to $17 to $9.99.)

Me: “All right, ma’am, your total is $58. Do you have your coupons with you?”

Customer #1: “Can I use a $20-off coupon?”

Me: “Sure!”

(I wait for her to hand me the coupon.)

Customer #1: “Don’t you have one with you?”

(We usually don’t, as those are mailed directly to the customer, but I check around the register, anyway.)

Me: “I’m afraid not. I have an extra 20%-off I can use, though.”

Customer #1: *gesturing to the customer being rung up at the register behind me* “Well, does she have one?”

(I pause for a moment, but manage to keep my smile up as I politely ask two other customers waiting in line if they have a coupon I can scan. No one does, and [Customer 1#] decides to put her things on hold until she can get a $20-off coupon. [Customer #2] comes up to the register, rolling her eyes and shaking her head.)

Customer #2: “I’ve done her nails before. She’s always like that. So, do you have a $20-off coupon?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry. I just looked for one a minute ago.”

(I start ringing up her items.)

Customer #2: “Wait. All these pants should be $4.99!”

Me: “…”

(I look down at her pants, one of which has a $4.99 tag, while all the rest have 75%-off tags.)

Me: “You know what? I’ll just adjust those for you.”

(I finish ringing her up, and after she leaves, I turn to one of my managers who came to stand by me a few minutes ago, still smiling brightly.)

Me: “Shoot me.”

Manager: “What? Why? They’re both really nice women…”

Me: “…”

Manager: “…most of the time.”

([Customer #1] comes running back to the register, waving a coupon above her head.)

Customer #1: “I got a $20-off one!”

The Couponator 3: Rise Of The Coupons

Now We Know Why The Wife Ran Away

, , , , | Right | March 9, 2018

(It is an average day for me at the large clothing outlet store where I work. Whilst on the shop floor, a man in his late 60s suddenly approaches me. He moves directly towards me and gets my attention. It is not uncommon for customers to inquire about our products, so I prepare for what I presume will be a clothes-related question by fixing a professional smile to my face.)

Customer: “Have you seen my wife?”

(I do not know this man, never mind his wife.)

Me: *taken aback* “Er, no, sorry… What does she look like?”

Customer: *visibly annoyed* “Never mind!” *pointing at my name badge* “So much for ‘Happy to help’!” *walks off*

(My name badge literally just contains my name. Nowhere does it say, “Happy to help,” which isn’t a slogan used by our company. My name does not even contain any of the letters used within the words “happy,” “to,” or “help.”)

Even Iron Man Can’t Get This Done

, , , , , | Right | March 8, 2018

(I work at a historic site. We have been a museum for over 50 years and the site itself is several hundred years old. It was originally a home and ironworks that produced materials from the early railroads. The ironworks itself burned down in the early 1900s. Sitting at the front desk, I receive this call.)

Me: “Good morning. This is [Museum]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi. I have been looking at your website for a while and you seem to be what I need.”

Me: “Wonderful! Do you have questions about tours or programs?”

Customer: “No. I need some iron products created immediately, and I can pick them up from your ironworks early next week.”

Me: “Ma’am, we–”

(She interrupts me to describe these iron plates she needs, and each time I try to interject she gets louder and louder. Finally, after about seven minutes…)

Me: “Ma’am, we are a historic site. The ironworks itself burned down over 100 years ago.”

Customer: “So, the plates won’t be ready next week?”

Me: “They will not be ready ever.”

(Our website says, “historic site,” and, “museum,” all across the page.)

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