My Only Preference Is To Annoy You

, , , , , | Working | February 12, 2020

(Over the next few weeks, we have to complete some mandatory paid training at work. It’s being run at various times on Tuesdays and Wednesdays for the next three weeks. My supervisor approaches me during one of my shifts.)

Supervisor: “Hey, are you working Tuesday or Wednesday next week?”

Me: “I’m working both days.”

Supervisor: “Do you think you could come in an hour earlier on one of those days and do the training?”

Me: “Sure. Which day?”

Supervisor: “Take your pick, Tuesday or Wednesday. Which would you prefer?”

Me: “Either or. It makes no difference to me really. Whatever’s easiest.”

Supervisor: “Both work. Just pick one.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll take Tuesday, then, and get it out the way sooner, I guess.”

Supervisor: “Oh. Is there any way you could do it Wednesday, instead? The Tuesday group is full.”

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I’ll Have A Burger With A Side Of Fries And Precognition

, , , | Right | February 12, 2020

(I’m training a new girl on the register, so even though I’m there, I’m not directly dealing with customers. I’m just making sure she’s doing everything correctly and answering questions. A lady walks up to our register and orders her food.)

Customer: “I’m also going to be ordering food to go; should I order it now or later?”

Me: “Well, you can order it now, and we’ll wrap that part to go and it will all be on one ticket, or you can order it before you leave.”

Customer: “I might wait until later. How busy will you be?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can’t predict the future.”

(It actually came out of my mouth before I had the chance to stop it, but it’s the truth! And when she ordered the to-go order, there wasn’t anyone else in line.)

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iPad Does Not Mean iPay

, , , | Right | February 10, 2020

(I work for a customer service call center for a photo app. Mostly I just get people calling wondering where their order is, but this lady… is a new one.)

Me: “Good morning. This is [My Name] with [Company]; how may I help you?”

Caller: *irate* “I ordered one of your photo tiles and it fell off the wall and broke my iPad screen!

Me: “Oh, geez, I’m really sorry to hear that. We can offer you a refund on the tile and send you some better adhesives right away.”

Caller: “Well, that doesn’t help my iPad screen, now does it?”

Me: “I can understand your frustration, but unfortunately, all I can offer you is a refund and to send you some better adhesives. Sometimes certain materials on walls, the tiles don’t stick to so well.”

Caller: “And how is that supposed to fix my iPad screen?”

Me: “I’m very sorry the tile fell down and broke your iPad, but again, we can only offer a refund.”

Caller: “I don’t think you’re taking this very seriously. Maybe if you offered me some better compensation, I would feel better.”

Me: “Well… unfortunately, I am sorry, but we can only offer the refund.”

Caller: “I’M FIGHTING A LOSING BATTLE! I’ll take the refund.” *click* 

(I am sorry your iPad broke, lady, but we’re not responsible for where you put your stuff!)

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Stop Guarding Lives!

, , , | Right | February 10, 2020

(This is my first year as a lifeguard on the beach and all has been smooth sailing, just a few rescues and warning people… except for this one mother who walks up to me with her son in tow.)

Mum: “My son lost his action camera out in the surf.”

Me: “Okay, did it have a floaty on it?”

Mum: “No.”

Me: “Well, I’ll keep my eye out for any that are handed in.”

Mum: *starts to get mad* “No, aren’t you going to go and look for it now?”

Me: “No, ma’am, I can’t go out looking for it as it is a busy day and I can’t leave my spot.”

(I’m the only lifeguard on duty.)

Mum: “What do you mean? Of course, you can! No one is in trouble and he just lost it over there!”

Me: “Look. Even if there was no one in the surf, I would still not go looking for your son’s lost action camera.”

(She grabs her son and walked away, yelling at me.)

Mum: “I’m calling your manager for not doing your job and have you fired.”

(Did this lady really think I was going to leave my spot watching the ocean to go and look for her son’s missing action camera?)

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Not Even Thinking Drinking

, , , , | Right | February 10, 2020

(I work at a tasting room, serving beer in house and to-go. We close at 9:00 pm. I get this call at 8:52 pm.)

Me: “[Store], how may I help you?”

Caller: “Hi. What time do you close?”

Me: “We actually close at 9:00 pm.”

Caller: “Oh, I am five minutes away. Can I still come?”

Me: “Were you looking for to-go?”

Caller: “No, I wanted to drink there.”

Me: “Um…”

Caller: *brusquely* “Never mind, don’t worry about it.”

(To-go options are quick, and I have no problem staying a few minutes late to keep customers happy. But for here can take people up to an hour, sometimes longer. Please observe opening hours. Workers want to go home after a long day!)

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