Going To Give You A Mall-ing

, , , | Right | June 8, 2017

(I work in a clothing store in a large mall. My store specializes in women’s work clothes. We only have a small section of casual clothing, like jeans. We often get asked by customers where other shops in the mall are. A lady just finished trying on some clothes in our fitting room.)

Customer: “Do you have any lucky belts?”

Me: “Excuse me?” *puzzled by what she meant by lucky belts*

Customer: “Do you sell lucky belts. You know, Lucky Brand Belts?”

Me: “Oh, no, sorry. We only sell our own brand here. Sorry.”

Customer: “Do you know where I could find them? I live out of town and don’t know the mall.”

Me: “Sorry, I don’t know. Probably a store that specializes in jeans or belts, or a store that carries that brand.”

Customer: “So what store?”

Me: “I don’t know.”

Customer: “WHAT? You don’t know? Why not? I don’t live here. Where can I find Lucky belts?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t know. I don’t shop for that brand myself, and have no idea where you would find a specific brand like that aside from the jean stores [Store #1] and [Store #2] upstairs. But I don’t know if they would have it.”

Customer: “Why is it so hard for you to tell me where to find them? You’re useless!”

Me: “Well, we don’t carry them. My job is to know what is sold in this store, not the entire mall.”

(She went and asked another associate who gave her a similar answer before she got frustrated at our staff not knowing where another company sold their items.)

The Network Is Working

, , , , | Right | June 6, 2017

(A user calls because he isn’t able to login.)

Me: “Okay, sir, I checked your account and unfortunately your account was disabled. You will need to contact your manager, [Name], and ask him to send a re-enabling request.”

Caller: “Oh. Can’t you just reset my password? I really just need to check few things really quickly.”

Me: “That is not the problem. Your account is disabled. I cannot do anything. Your manager has to send the request.”

Caller: “But I just need this few things and I do not have the number.”

Me: “No problem; I may send email to your manager or call him if you want. I recognize his name; he does this all the time.”

Caller: “But I’m not in the company anymore. He wouldn’t do it.”

Me: “Oh. Do you see the message saying this system is only for employees?”

Caller: “So? I was an employee.”

Me: “But you aren’t anymore. I cannot let you in.”

Caller: “Can you find the information I need?”

Me: “Well… I’m not supposed to do it but okay. What do you need?”

Caller: “I need phone numbers and emails for everyone in [Department].”

Me: “I see. Sorry, I cannot provide this. But you know what? I will send email to your former manager and ask him. Maybe he will send it to you.”

Caller: “No, he wouldn’t. Just let me in for few minutes or I will make sure you will be fired.”

Me: “For doing my job? Okay, have fun with it.”

Caller: *click*

Their Demands Are Making Waves

, , , | Right | June 5, 2017

(I work part-time in the summer season as a lifeguard at a public beach. The waves have been a bit choppier than normal, so I am watching pretty carefully from the chair for anyone that might need help. A lady comes stomping up to me, dripping wet, and I brace myself for a demand to ‘turn down the waves.’)

Woman: “I lost my earring!”

Me: “…I’m sorry to hear that?”

(The woman just stares at me for a second.)

Woman: “Well?”

Me: “I’m very sorry to hear that?”

Woman: *grunts* “Go find it!”

(I stare at her, then down at the beach. She has a tiny little stud in one ear. The chances of me finding the matching stud if it was laying out on the sand would be bad; add in the waves, and it is effectively zero.)

Me: “I’m sorry; I have to stay on duty to keep an eye out for anyone who might be in danger.”

(That is literally the line they gave us in training for when someone invites you to play volleyball or have a drink with them. The lady stared at me, wide-eyed, before she started making a noise like a steaming teapot. Her shrieky whistle rose up to a full scream, and she just stood there, screaming at me for moment, before she spun around and stomped away, still screaming. I found out from a friend that works in a food stand nearby that she came up to the stand to try to file a complaint against me.)

Your Demand Has Shattered

, , , , | Right | June 2, 2017

(It has just been Christmas so people are coming in to exchange or refund unwanted gifts. I am standing beside my coworker whilst he deals with this specific customer.)

Customer: “Hello, I would like to return this aftershave I bought. I have a receipt.”

Coworker: “Okay, no problem. Is there anything wrong with it?”

Customer: “Yes. I dropped it on the floor and the bottle smashed so I want my money back.”

Coworker: *opens the box and finds it is just a box of glass* “I’m sorry but you will not be able to return this item. You dropped it and it smashed. It’s a glass bottle; they smash if dropped. It’s not a fault.”

Customer: “I dropped it on SOFT FLOORING and it shouldn’t have smashed, so the bottle was faulty. I would like my money back!”

(At this point the customer’s friend interrupts.)

Friend: “Well, you did drop it on wooden flooring.”

Customer: “It shouldn’t have broken!”

Coworker: “I understand the upset but we cannot issue a refund because you damaged the product when you got home. It doesn’t work that way.”

Customer: *getting angry* “IT SHOULDN’T HAVE BROKEN! I work in a perfume shop and I know that the bottle shouldn’t have broken.”

(She then proceeds to grab the tester we have at the till.)

Customer: “Look, if I throw this tester on the floor it won’t break.”

Coworker: “Please don’t throw that on the floor. It WILL break and I will have to clean it up. I’m sorry your item got damaged but we are not able to refund it in store today. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Customer: “WELL, I AM NEVER SHOPPING HERE AGAIN! YOU HAVE LOST A LOYAL CUSTOMER. GOODBYE.”

(She stormed out the shop whilst my coworker and I stood there in a state of shock.)

They’ll Be Back, Mark Your Calendar

, , , , | Right | June 2, 2017

(I’m working as a cashier after the holidays and a woman with three young kids and a basket full of stuff comes up to me to check out.)

Customer: “Um, excuse me, but I would just like to mention that this will be the last time I will ever come into your store. I have been treated terribly by the staff here and considering I’m spending a lot of my hard-earned money here today I find that unacceptable.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, but that’s of course entirely up to you.” *I start to ring her out*

Customer: “It’s the stupidest thing… I ordered a calendar here six weeks ago and never received a call that it came in. Now today when I came to pick it up it isn’t here!”

Me: “Well, we don’t hold onto orders for more than two weeks for customers that haven’t pre-paid, unfortunately.”

Customer: “I know THAT, but I also would’ve known if it was in if someone had bothered to call me! The person who I asked even had the nerve to check that the phone number on my account was correct, as if I would ever give you clowns false information!”

Me: “I’m sorry you weren’t able to get it. I understand the inconvenience.”

Customer: “And then that jerk wouldn’t even check in the system to see if my calendar had been shelved and was still available in the store! She went and helped someone else. How dare she brush me off like that!”

Me: “Well, since it’s already into the new year and most of our holiday stock is gone, we no longer have any calendars in the store.”

Customer: “But she wouldn’t even CHECK!”

Me: “I get that you’re frustrated.”

Customer: “I think I’d better receive a discount!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “I deserve to at least not have to pay so much after the way I was treated.”

Me: “I’m sorry; I’m unable to authorize any sort of discount.”

Customer: “Ugh, I knew you’d say that. Well, how about on these?”

(She waves a bunch of colored pencils she’s buying in my face.)

Customer: “At least discount these; the tips are all broken off of these.”

Me: “Erm… okay. I’ll discount them 10% on account of them being damaged.”

Customer: “Only 10%? Wait, that only covers the tax on these!”

Me: “Well, seeing as how they can be sharpened and repaired all I can really do is the 10%.”

Customer: “Ugh, fine. Just finish ringing me up; I’m so done with this terrible place.”

(She ended up paying with three gift cards and only ended up spending about $10 of her “hard-earned” money. I never found out which coworker had treated her with such contempt, but I did try to learn who it was so I could hug them.)

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