Wrecked Himself Before He Checked Himself

, , , , , , | Right | October 10, 2018

(We offer to cash checks in our store, provided the customer holds or signs up for a rewards membership and has a photo ID, and we have the cash to do so. This happens in the evening only an hour before we close.)

Me: “Hello, sir, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I need to cash this check. Hurry up, though; I have to be somewhere.”

(I take a look at the check. It is for over $700, which is more than twice what I have available in my drawer. During the day we can get loans from the cash office, but as it’s quite late, I am not able to. )

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I don’t have enough cash on hand to cash this.”

Customer: “Well, then, get it! You guys do it all the time!”

Me: “Again, sir, I’m sorry. But it’s too late for me to get a loan. You can take the check somewhere else to cash, or you can wait and see if we have the money tomorrow. It’s unlikely I will be able to cash it later tonight, as we close in an hour. You could also try tomorrow.”

Customer: “Man! The f*** is this?! Just give me my d*** money!”

Me: “Again, sir, I’m not able to. I have given you alternatives. Perhaps you can try [Grocery Store] across the street? They tend to have more on hand at this time of night.”

(The customer swears under his breath and leaves. He comes back five minutes later after I have helped two more customers.)

Customer: “You going to cash my check now?”

Me: “Again, sir, I don’t have enough. We close in less than an hour; I won’t be able to—”

(The customer leaves again. He then comes back AGAIN a few minutes later.)

Customer: “You got it yet?”

Me: “Sir, please, I will not be able to cash your check tonight! You can go somewhere else, or wait until tomorrow! You are asking me to do something I am literally unable to do.”

(By this point my manager has heard all of this and comes over. He asks to see the check and, despite it being against company policy, agrees to check and see if there is enough cash in the office to do the transaction. He asks the customer for ID.)

Customer: “I ain’t got no ID; that’s why I can’t go to [Check Cashing Store] or the bank! Now give me my money!”

(My manager makes him leave. The customer tries to resist, but my manager is about 6’5″ and very broad, built like a linebacker, and weighs at least 260 pounds.)

Manager: “You don’t feel bad about that one bit. You did good. Start closing up; maybe we can go home early tonight.”

(With that, he walked away, whistling. Just goes to show: don’t mess with retail workers!)


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Never Before Has So Much Pizza Bought So Much Unhappiness

, , , , , | Right | October 9, 2018

(I am a shift runner at a popular pizza chain store. A customer comes in to preorder ten pizzas from our $12.99 pizza range. She demands a 50% discount because it is a large order. My manager refuses to give her such a large discount, so the customer storms off in a huff. A few days later, a preorder for ten of our $12.99 pizzas appears in our ordering system with a 50% discount applied to it. My manager freaks out and calls the customer to tell her there has been a mistake. Unsurprisingly, it is the lady who was in earlier demanding a discount. My manager informs her that she cannot give her a 50% discount and that the customer will be charged $12.99 per pizza. The customer begrudgingly agrees to pay the full price. The customer arrives to pick up her order on a Saturday at six pm. This is one of our busiest times, so the store is packed.)

Customer: “I’m here to pick up an order for [Customer].”

Coworker: “Fantastic. That comes to $129.90.”

Customer: “What the f***? Are you f****** kidding me? I was told I was getting a 50% discount became it is a large order. Get me your f****** manager, you stupid little b****!”

(My manager appears to talk to the customer.)

Manager: “Ma’am, I told you in person and over the phone that you would be charged $129.90.”

Customer: “You lying little b****! When I called your store to place this order, I was told I would get a discount! This is fraud! This is false advertising! My daughter is a lawyer and I will sue you! I will close this place down!”

Manager: “Ma’am, please calm down. You’re making a scene in front of all these other customers. Do you want your order, or would you like to leave?”

Customer: “I have a house full of kids for my grandson’s birthday! I don’t have time to get anything else. Give me my f****** order!”

Manager: “That will be $129.90.”

(The customer hands over her credit card and pays, all the while swearing and telling my manager she will sue the company.)

Customer: “I am only paying for these because you didn’t give me a choice. F*** you all! I am going to [Competitor] from now on, and you will be hearing from my daughter!”

Manager: “That’s fantastic. Now get out of my shop and never come back.”

(The lady stormed out with her order. It turns out she had tried the same thing at our sister store and failed. When she called to place the order at our store, she had made sure the manager was not there, and then berated one of my fifteen-year-old coworkers until she gave her the discount. Luckily for us, she is now our competitor’s problem.)

Talkin’ Tomato Time

, , , , | Right | October 9, 2018

(At the cafe where I work, the food line is right behind the register. Customers can see the employees take their food out of the toaster and finish preparing it.)

Customer: *runs up to counter* “I forgot to say if there’s tomato on that I don’t want it!”

Me: “Tomato does come on that sandwich but I’ll tell him to leave it off.” *turning to my foodline worker, who just pulled the sandwich from the toaster* “[Coworker], she doesn’t want the tomato on that!”

Coworker: “Gotcha!”

Customer: *shooting a look of disgust from [Coworker] to me* “Nuh-uh! NUH-UH! Nobody talks over my food! I want a refund! Y’all nasty!”

In Her World February Has 150 Days

, , , , | Right | October 9, 2018

(My store sells an extended warranty on select products in the store. However, the warranty is through a different company than the store. Whenever I sell it, I explain that you have to activate it on their website and then contact them if anything is wrong, not the store. We can’t do anything unless it’s within our return policy: thirty days for electronics.)

Woman: *to her daughter, who is about five* “Here.” *hands her a tablet that has a broken screen, with the receipt and warranty pamphlet* “Give it to that lady and she’ll fix it.”

Daughter: *running up to me* “Can you fix this for me?!”

Woman: *to me* “We called earlier to make sure you have it in stock. And someone said you do. We need to exchange it. We called [Extended Warranty Company] and they said to exchange it.”

(I examine the receipt; it’s from February, and it’s currently July. We can’t return the item in the store since it’s over thirty days. Also, there’s a return receipt stapled to it saying the item was already returned.)

Me: “Well, I used to work at the service desk, and we never did any returns for the extended warranty in the store after our return policy days end, which is thirty for electronic items. They usually want you to ship the item to them, and they’ll replace it by giving you money back.”

Woman: “They said it would be $100 to mail it and it would take six weeks to get a check!”

Me: “Huh, that’s weird. Well, let me call the service desk and ask them what to do.”

(The woman’s husband has since arrived, and chimes in.)

Husband: “They let us return it before if it was under warranty!”

Me: *on phone with the desk* “Hey. I have a customer here that called [Warranty Company], and they said to return it in the store, but they bought it in February and there’s another receipt that said it was returned.”

Service Desk: “They have to go through [Warranty Company]. If it was still within thirty days, no problem. But it’s not.”

Me: “All right, that’s what I figured. Thank you.” *to customers* “I’m sorry, but they informed me that since it’s over our thirty-day return policy, we can’t do anything in the store. You have to go through [Warranty Company], but it’s been under a year since you bought it, so it should still have a manufacturer warranty on it. It might be easier to replace it that way.”

Woman: “But they told us we can return it here!”

Me: “Did you tell them when you bought it?”

Woman: “No! Why would I?!”

Me: “Well, they wouldn’t have known that it’s been over our policy for returns. You only have thirty days for electronics, unfortunately, and this was purchased in February.”

Woman: “What do I do, then?!”

Me: “I would contact the manufacturer, and then [Extended Warranty Company]. They will replace it for you.”

Daughter: *to mom* “Will we be getting a new one?”

Woman: *to daughter* “NOPE. Because this woman said no!

(They stormed off.)


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New Facebook Recruitment Techniques

, , , | Right | October 8, 2018

My other half works as a team leader at a highly popular family theme park in the UK. She had a lady with her kids come up to her the other day to make a ridiculous complaint. The lady had apparently arrived at the entrance of the park and planned to meet her friend in the car park so they could enter the park together.

Unfortunately, this lady had left her phone at home and had no way of contacting her friend to organise where exactly in the large car park and entrance they were going to meet up. So, the lady approached one of the staff members at the turnstile gates who normally check wristbands, tickets, etc. She asked the staff member if she could get her phone out, go on Facebook, add the friend she wanted to meet up with, and message her on the lady’s behalf as to where they should meet.

Obviously, the staff member refused, explaining she was not allowed to have her phone on her at work, and even if she was, she wouldn’t be okay with doing such a thing. Unsurprisingly, the clueless lady then demanded a superior to complain to about the staff member’s lack of cooperation and helpfulness. The superior taking the complaint was my girlfriend.

We still wonder, a few days later, if she has ever gone up to any other strangers in the past and asked them to add other strangers on Facebook to message them for her.

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