Sadly, Our Space Is Not A Safe Space

, , , , , | Right | January 12, 2020

(We have a regular customer who is disabled and prefers to sit on a specific sofa in our coffee shop because it’s more comfortable for her. She always comes in at a low-traffic time so that sofa is usually free – no problems. Today, I’ve taken her tea and toast over to her and am back at the till serving more customers when I see a lady with her kid come in, go over to the sofa, and point at our regular.)

Customer: “Right, you need to move.”

Regular: “Err, sorry, what?”

Customer: “That’s our seat.”

Regular: *looking around at almost empty shop* “There are loads of other seats and I just sat down.”

Customer: “No, we always sit here. My kid’s autistic and can’t handle sitting anywhere else.”

Regular: “As you can see–” *points to walking aids* “–I can’t exactly jump up and move, anyway. Look, I’ll be about half an hour, so if you come back later the seat will be free, then.”

Customer: “No. You can sit anywhere else. My son can’t.”

(She then picks up our regular’s food and drink and puts it down on a nearby table!)

Regular: “What the bloody h*** are you playing at?!”

(I manage to get one of the other staff over to take over the till while I go over to sort this. I give our regular back her food and drink.)

Me: “Okay, ma’am, you can’t just take other people’s food and drink.”

Customer: “She’s in our space.”

Me: “With all due respect, it’s not your space. Either stop bothering this lady and sit somewhere else or leave.”

Customer: “We have to sit here! My son has autism! This [disabled slur] here can sit anywhere; we can’t!”

Me: “Okay, I’m going to have to ask you to leave. You’re causing a scene.”

Customer: “That’s discrimination! Get me your manager.”

Me: “No. Get out.”

Customer: “I bet she wouldn’t need a whole sofa if she wasn’t so f****** fat, anyway.”


Customer: “I’m going to get you fired!”

Me: “Get out or I’m calling the police.”

(She did leave then, swearing her head off about how “fat isn’t disabled.” I asked our regular if she was okay and she gave me a fiver, “as a tip, and a thank-you for getting my tea back!” I’d never seen that lady nor her kid before!)

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The Dermatologist Will Determine That You Need Thicker Skin

, , , , | Healthy | January 12, 2020

(My doctor’s office is small, with only one dermatologist, a physician assistant, and a nurse practitioner. The doctor and nurse practitioner see daily, while the PA is only here Tuesdays and Thursdays. Even so, our schedule stays booked, and new patients have been calling all through the month to get on the schedule.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Office]; how can I help you?”

Patient: “If I walk in there today, can I be seen by the doctor?”

Me: “I’m afraid not. The doctor is out on vacation until the week after next, and our nurse practitioner has no openings currently.”

Patient: “Well, can I get on the schedule for this week?”

Me: “Sir, it’s Friday. We don’t have any openings today.”

Patient: “What about next week?”

Me: “We don’t have any then, either, because we’re only open Monday, Thursday, and Friday next week, due to New Year’s Eve and Day.”

Patient: “Really? You can’t just nudge someone for me?”

Me: “We don’t do that, sir. You can call each day to see if an appointment is available if you like, but I can’t promise we’ll have an opening for you.”

Patient: “Well, what’s your next available appointment?”

Me: “For the doctor, mid-February. To see the PA or nurse practitioner, it’ll be mid-January.”

Patient: “That’s too long! I have really good insurance! You’re sure there’s nothing at all?”

Me: *checks schedule, just in case, though I have looked at it extensively by this point* “No, sir, nothing has opened up. I can set you for January 14th with our PA, if you’d like.”

Patient: “I can’t believe this! What’s the point of having good insurance if you’re not going to fit me in?”

Me: “We only have one provider here today, and there’s only so many people she can see. The same goes for next week, as well.”

Patient: “So knock someone!”

Me: “I’m not going to do that, sir.”

Patient: “UGH! Forget this!”

(He called back forty minutes later to have a similar conversation with my coworker and then threw a large fit that she didn’t have anything until the end of January due to the influx of calls. The weird part is that there’s another dermatology office in the same city, and another in the next city 20 minutes away, so he had options.)

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Now I’ve Heard It All, In Español

, , , , | Right | January 11, 2020

Me: “[Company] customer service. How can I help you?”

Customer: *obviously struggling with English* “Helou, I needo help with…” *tries to explain problem*

(It dawns on me that this person is Latino like me.) 

Me: “Oh, sir!” *in Spanish* “I can speak Spanish if you want.”

Customer: “No, no.” *in Spanish* “I want to speak with a person that speaks English.”

Me: *Spanish* “I speak English, sir. But it is hard to understand you; your Spanish is much better.”

Customer: *Spanish* “No, no, pass me on to an American that speaks English; this problem is too important and I know the best help is on the English-speaking lines.”

(At the end I had to transfer him. Later, I got reprimanded because my line is not supposed to be in Spanish. This actually happened often; my coworker explained that a lot of people think like this.)

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Unable To See The Weight Of The Problem  

, , , , | Right | January 11, 2020

(I’m at my mechanic because my battery died right as I was going to work. These guys may be the best mechanics ever, always doing good work in little time. In this case, even though I drove in with no warning, they’re getting me a new battery installed in less than an hour. I hear the following side of a phone conversation:)

Mechanic: “No, I’m sorry, we won’t be able to help you with that.”


Mechanic: “Because that’s too much weight for us to put on our lifts.”


Mechanic: “Yes, you’re correct, [Previous Manager] did sometimes do that, which was a misuse of the equipment and resulted in burned-out motors and people’s cars stuck in the air in our bays.”


Mechanic: *rolls eyes* “Because we cannot take our standard lifts and put your motorhome on them!

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Cheap Customers Are A Cancer

, , , , | Right | January 11, 2020

(I work in a thrift store. We get a lot of people who try to bargain with us, but we don’t do that with our products, as we are already consistently lower than the other thrift stores in the area. We have a regular who has tried all sorts of schemes to get us to lower the price.)

Regular: “Oh, I like that [item]. And that one. And that one. Please take those out of the case so I can look at it. That’s awesome, I really want that. Wait, it’s [price] dollars?!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Regular: “You know I just came from the doctor’s, and we got a test done and I might have cancer.”

Me: “Yikes. That’s a bummer.”

(While cancer is serious business, the timing of her mentioning this is suspicious. She wants a thing. Thing is expensive. Now she might have cancer. Hmm…)

Regular: “They’re going to do some more tests to confirm it, but I need to do something nice for myself to keep from flipping out about it and my family’s not being supportive right now so I’m shopping for myself only and they don’t deserve anything tonight.”

Me: “Okay.”

Regular: “Are you sure there’s no wiggle room on that [item]? Because I really like it but I don’t know… It’s not awesome enough to pay that much for it…”

Me: “We look these things up online, and then discount the retail price some 75% to 80%, ma’am. We’re not likely to go lower on it.”

Regular: “Yeah, that’s not true. There’s no way that’s 80% off.”

Me: “That’s the way we price everything, ma’am. Regardless of what we’re selling, our pricing policy is uniform across all the boards.”

Regular: “There’s still no way that’s 80% off.”

Me: “Sorry, but whether or not you believe me, that’s the price we’re selling it for. We don’t further lower prices on things until it’s been sitting around for over 30 days.”

Regular: “Are you sure you can’t discount it to like, [less than 1/3 of the asking price]? Even though I might have cancer?”

Me: “Unfortunately, that doesn’t change the answer, ma’am.”

Regular:My God, you are so heartless! I might have cancer and you won’t even discount something for me!

Me: *in a sickly sweet voice* “That’s right, ma’am! I totally am! Now, will you buy the [item] or shall I put it back?”

(She stared at it for a long time, huffed and puffed, complained some more about how heartless we were for not giving her a might-have-cancer discount, and stormed out without it. The item sold the very next day, to someone who didn’t feel the need to haggle.)

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