Truck Drivers, We Feel For You, But It’s Not Their Fault, Either

, , , , , | Right | June 24, 2020

We work and live in a family-run pub and hotel. Due to the current lockdown and restrictions, we have had to close, as there is no way for us to operate safely and follow restrictions put in place.

All accommodation has been closed as well as most other tourism businesses. This happens about two weeks into the restrictions. We are having dinner and the phone rings. I answer the phone on instinct because I’m next to it when it rings.

Me: “Hello, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Can I book a room?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, we are currently closed due to restrictions.”

Customer: “But can I book a room?”

Me: “As I said, we are closed due to the restrictions and not operating the business.”

Customer: “So I can’t get a room?”

Me: “No, we are currently closed.”

Customer: “I’m a truck driver and I’m in town and need somewhere to stay.”

Me: “As I explained, we are closed due to the restrictions, and I believe so are the caravan park and other pubs, so I’m not sure where you can try.”

Customer: “Well, that’s just stupid.”

He then hung up rather abruptly. I get that it’s frustrating, but we didn’t choose to be closed; we had no option!

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Bagel Begone!

, , , | Right | June 24, 2020

I am working at the drive-thru.

Customer: “I would like ten medium coffees with two cream and three sugar.” 

Me: “Is that everything for you?”

Customer: “Yes.”

The customer drives to the window.

Me: “That will be $15.39.”

Customer: “Oh, I forgot. I would also like ten plain bagels with plain cream cheese.”

Me: “Okay, I will get those made right away.”

My coworker makes him the bagels and I give him his new total.

Me: “That will be $37.46.”

Customer: “Oh, I can’t afford that. I don’t want the bagels anymore.”

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Her Meanness Went From 1-800

, , , , , | Right | June 23, 2020

I work as a courtesy clerk at a major grocery store chain, meaning I stock shelves, clean, bag, bring in carts, and help customers.

Intercom: “Courtesy clerk to self-checkout. Courtesy clerk, self-checkout.”

I walk over to self-checkout to see what they need me to do. A cashier is manning the area and the nearby check stand #1.

Cashier: “Hey, [My Name], can you price check this ice cream for this customer? She says it’s on sale for $4.49 but the thing is ringing up $5.99.”

Me: “Yeah, sure, be right back.”

I walk over to the ice cream section of frozen foods and see that all flavors of the ice cream are on sale for $4.49 except the flavor the customer wants. I walk back over to self-checkout.

Me: “Sorry about that, ma’am, but this flavor of ice cream is still $5.99; however, all other flavors are $4.49.”

Customer: *Frustrated* “Check again, please.”

Me: “More than happy to! Be right back.”

I hurry back over to verify I was correct, making sure the tag number for the flavor doesn’t match a $4.49 tag. I find that I am still correct that the ice cream is $5.99. I hurry back over to the customer.

Me: “I’m really sorry, ma’am. I checked again and it’s still $5.99, not $4.49. This flavor is not on sale.”

Customer: “God d*** it, you people.”

The cashier who called me walks over to clear the ice cream off the woman’s order. The customer smacks the cashier’s hand away and tells her to not f****** touch her stuff.

Cashier: “I’m sorry, ma’am. He checked and the price the machine says is correct. Please do not get upset at him; it’s only his second week here.”

The customer turns to the cashier.

Customer: “You used to be nice, going out of your way to help every customer. Now you’re hiding, trying to avoid all of us. I’ve called the 1-800 number on you before, and I’ll have to do it again.”

The woman storms off without paying, leaving me to put back all of her groceries. When I finish, the cashier calls me over to self-checkout again.

Cashier: “[My Name], don’t worry about her. She’s always nasty when she comes in here. You did your job and you did nothing wrong.”

She smiled at me to brighten my mood, which it did. We laughed it off.

I found out the next day at work that the lady did call the 1-800 number on the cashier, and corporate sent an email to the general manager, who told the cashier. No punishments were given, as nobody did anything wrong. I have not seen that woman in the store since.

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Boris Delivers When Boris Feels Like It

, , , , , | Right | June 23, 2020

A customer calls in tracking a package they had sent to Russia. We attempted delivery and no one was home. It is a Friday, so the next attempt will be on Monday. He is calling in at 5:00 pm.

Customer: “I tell you, your website is lying! You did not attempt this package! You’re lying to me.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I can, unfortunately, only tell you what we have in our system. We attempted at [time] and we’ll reattempt Monday.”

Customer: “This is unacceptable! I want you to call Moscow right now! Get this delivered right now!”

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t do that.”

At this point, he’s literally screaming.

Customer: “Why not?!”

Me: “Well, firstly, I’m an inbound call centre. I can only make calls to the United States and Canada. And furthermore… due to the time difference, it is currently after midnight in Russia. And they’re closed on weekends. I can open a file for follow up Monday, but that’s it.”

The customer continued to scream and demand I call Russia. He ended up demanding my manager, who advised him the same.

I then found out from a coworker that he called back at 1:00 am to demand we call Russia. He then called back every hour on the hour that Saturday making the same insane demand. The package went out on Monday, was delivered successfully, and would have happened regardless of his behaviour.

Related:
Boris Can See Through You
Boris Now Fights Scammers
Leave The Accents To Boris
Boris Need No Warranty; Boris IS Warranty!
When Boris Busy, Use Marko
In Soviet Russia, Accent Speaks You

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Talking On Eggshells Around This Customer

, , , , , | Right | June 23, 2020

Paint comes in sheens — not shiny to ultra-shiny. To make a color, we add tint — dye — to gallons of “tint base,” a semi-translucent goo that is lacking certain solid polymers — added by the tint — that actually makes it a paint. 

Customer: “I can’t find a sample of a color I bought last week. The color is ‘eggshell’ by [Paint Company].”

Me: “Sure, let me look up the color to get its number.” *Does so* “Sir? I cannot find the color; the only color close is ‘eggshell crème.’”

I get the sample.

Me: “Is this the color?”

The customer flings the sample back at me.

Customer:  “No! You sold me this paint last week and now you are refusing to help me?! I need the color sample for ‘eggshell’! I bought it here! It’s on [Paint Company]’s website!”

My coworker is on that website.

Coworker: “I’m sorry, sir, it’s not listed here. Are you sure it’s [Paint Company]’s color?”

Customer: “Of course, I’m sure! I am friends with the person who invented that paint. I only buy his paint! Find it!

Me: “Sorry, sir, we don’t seem to have this color in our system or in any samples. Can you bring back the can so we can look at the label for the color formula?”

Customer: “You carry the color in the store! It’s right down there!

He points down the paint aisle.

Me: “I assure you, we do not have that color pre-mixed.”

The customer marches down the aisle, grabs a gallon off the shelf, and slams in on the counter:

Customer:This one!

Coworker: “…”

Me: “Sir, that is just a sheen and a tint base. That is ‘eggshell’ sheen, which means it is not a shiny finish. That’s not a color. That’s not even paint. That is ‘deep base’ — what we add colorant to that makes paint.”

Customer: “No, it’s not! I know the guy who makes this and I know what I am talking about! This is paint and it has the perfect raw egg color. I painted my living room and dining room in this and my neighbor wants the color sample. You are obviously stupid. I will just take her the gallon.”

The customer left with paint while I just sighed.

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