Taxing Faxing, Part 7

, , , , , | Right | December 9, 2010

Me: “Hi, [Cake Shop]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah, hi, do you have cake boxes?”

Me: “Like the ones we put the sold cakes into?”

Caller: “Yeah, but do you have just plain coloured ones?”

Me: “No, sorry. We only have ones with the company’s logo on it.”

Caller: “Well, can you order one? I told my friend that I got a special cake shop to make the cake, but I made it, and all I need is a plain box.”

Me: “Sorry, we can’t do that.”

Caller: “Okay, then, I’ll just get the one with a logo. Can you mail it?”

Me: “No, that’s not store policy. Customers have to collect it themselves.”

Caller: “Well, then just fax it to me.” *tells me his number – and before I can respond* “Thank you!” *hangs up*

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Some Customers Are Completely See Through, Part 2

, , , , , | Right | December 9, 2010

Customer: “I’d like a caramel apple latte, please.”

Me: “Certainly. Would you like that to go or in a mug?”

Customer: “A mug, please.”

(I grab a ceramic mug and start to prepare the drink.)

Customer: “What? No, I want a glass mug, like the one in that poster over there.”

Me: “Sorry, ma’am, but we don’t actually have glass mugs. I think they just used it in that ad so you can see the drink.”

Customer: “This is outrageous! It’s false advertising! I don’t want a caramel apple latte unless it’s in a glass mug!”

Me: “I think you should know that it tastes great whether you can see it through the mug or not.”

Customer: “You’re wrong! The glass mug adds fancy deliciousness! I’m never coming here again!” *storms out*

Next Customer In Line: “I’ll have a caramel apple latte, fancy deliciousness not included.”

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UV: Under Valued

, , , , | Right | December 8, 2010

(It is mid-afternoon and the sun is starting to directly shine in the windows. The shades are already down but some light still shines through.)

Customer: “It is way too bright. I have very sensitive eyes. You need to do something about the sun.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but the shades are already down. Would you like to move to a different table that is away from the windows?”

Customer: “No! I want you to do something about the sun!”

Me: “Sir, I really can’t control the sun.”

Customer: “You can’t do anything? I have very sensitive eyes!”

Me: “I can move you to another table.”

Customer: “No, that won’t work. How about you just stand here while I eat and block the sun?”

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Some Customers Are Completely See-Through

, , , , , | Right | December 2, 2010

(When a customer at the store uses a credit card, we always need ID and either the last four digits and/or the security code on the back.)

Me: “All right, sir, I’ll just need to see your ID and credit card for a second.”

Customer: *hands me ID* “2-9-4-7!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I have to see the credit card for security reasons.”

Customer: *shouting slowly* “2-9-4-7!”

Me: “Yes, sir, I heard you. But I need to be able to see the card.”

Customer: “No. No way. I never let anyone see my card. You people are just trying to take my numbers and use my card for yourselves! No way!”

Me: “I promise you, sir, I will not be able to memorize your sixteen-digit number and know your security number by looking at the front of the card for less than two seconds.”

Customer: “I know a girl who can do it!”

Me: “Well, I do not have that kind of memory, but what if you put your finger over the numbers and just show me the name on the card and the last four digits? I absolutely must see the card, sir, or you will have to pay with a different method.”

Customer: “Well… I guess that would be okay. You don’t have X-ray vision, do you?”

Me: *laughs* “No. No, I don’t.”

Customer: “Don’t laugh! I know someone who does!”

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Sounds Like They’ve Had Too Many Bottles Already

, , , , , | Right | December 2, 2010

(I’m working at a popular arts and crafts store as a cashier.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, do you have a chemical, or some sort of solution, for turning clear water into wine?”

Me: “Uh… like… dyeing it to look like wine?”

Customer: *completely serious* “No. Turning it INTO wine.”

Me: “Ma’am, I think you’ll have better luck calling the church for that.”


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