He’s Forking Serious

, , , , | | Right | July 9, 2019

(I am a customer at a small medical supply store. While I am being rung up, a man comes into the store. The only other employee working goes up to him and asks how he can help him.)

Customer: “Do you have any plastic forks?”

Employee: *looking confused* “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Plastic forks? Do you sell them?”

Employee: “No, I’m sorry.”

Customer: “You don’t?”

Employee: “No, we do not.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Employee: *pointing to the display of wheelchairs and walkers/canes* “We only sell medical supplies.”

Customer: *getting upset* “Well, I just got takeout from [Fast Food Place up the road] and I noticed they didn’t give me a plastic fork. How can I eat my food without a fork?!”

Employee: *being nice* “Maybe you should go back there and ask for a fork?”

Customer: *face getting red with anger* “Really?! That’s your solution?! I’ll go next door and get a fork! Thanks for nothing!” *storms out*

Employee: *turns back to us* “Good luck to him. Next door is a dry cleaner.”

They Don’t Understand What “Best” Means

, , , | | Right | July 8, 2019

Customer: “Hi. I’m looking for the best saucepans you sell.”

Me: “Okay, great. This is our top brand here that [Famous Chef] endorses…”

(I point out a name brand with a 50-year guarantee and explain some of the features.)

Me: “The five-piece set is on special for $499.95 today because of our big sale. I really like this set; I bought it myself because it was such a good price and with such a long warranty, I’ll probably never have to buy another one.”

Customer: “Hmm, that’s nice. But it’s a little expensive. Do you have something that’s still very good, but cheaper?”

(I take the customer to our next best brand, with similar features but $100 cheaper. Again, he seems interested but says it’s too expensive. I show him a couple more that are cheaper, again with the same result.)

Customer: “Basically, I’m looking for your best, cheapest set.”

Me: *laughs* “Well, unfortunately, here it’s kind of one or the other.”

(The customer gives me a blank look.)

Me: “The general rule I tell customers here is, ‘You get what you pay for.’ The more expensive it is, the higher the quality and the longer the warranty, so the best sets are the most expensive.”

Customer: “Yeah, but I want a good, cheap one.”

(I give in and show him some of our mid-range sets which are a good value for money. Twenty minutes later…)

Customer: “No, no, these are all much too expensive. Who would ever pay $150 for a set of saucepans and frying pans?”

(As he was walking out, he went past our home-brand range of cookware on the clearance table. All the pieces were marked down to $5 each because they were such terrible quality that no-one was buying them; a baked bean tin would have more metal in it than these things. He suddenly got excited and bought one of everything. I guess I should be happy that SOMEONE  wanted them!)

That Only Comes With The Seasonal Pass

, , , | | Right | July 8, 2019

(We sell games and toys. Because of our convenient location in the shopping center, customers often wander in looking for products we don’t carry. The most commonly asked-for items are calendars, greeting cards, souvenirs, and candy. A middle-aged woman walks in on a Saturday afternoon.)

Coworker: “Welcome!”

Customer: “Do you just sell games?”

Coworker: “Um, yep, games!”

Customer: “Oh. Because I was just looking for… like a baptismal bonnet.”

Me: “Oh, sorry. No, we don’t sell clothing.”

(The customer leaves.)

Me: *to coworker* “I think that tops the list of strange things people have asked for!”

When The Faceless Men Take Over The Store

, , | | Right | July 8, 2019

(I am working the till at our Bio-chain. I am in training for another store, which will open up in about two months. About two-thirds of the new staff is in this store, in training. A customer approaches my till. I wish him a good afternoon and start scanning his items, when suddenly:)

Customer: “You know what you should tell your bosses? Tell your bosses that I am not amused. There are too many new faces working here!”

Me: *startled, but trying to remain cheerful* “Well, that’s because we are all in training here for the new store in [Location #3].”

Customer: “There are too many new faces; tell your bosses! Why are there so many new faces? Is there such a big rollover in this company?”

Me: “Well, because this store has such a good reputation, they get to train a lot of the recruits. They trained the people for [Location #1], then the people for [Location #2], and now they’re training us.”

Customer: “Well, there’s still too many new faces, so tell your bosses!”

Me: *gives up* “When our new store opens in two months, us new faces won’t trouble you again.”

Customer: *angry* “That’s not what I meant at all!” *storms out*

(Later, I told my boss about this. She was utterly confused as to what the customer’s problem was, too, or what we were supposed to do about it.)

Unable To Move On

, , , , | | Right | July 6, 2019

(As I’m sending one of my coworkers on break, a woman stops her. I tell her she’s trying to go on break but the woman says it will just be quick. I shrug and go back to work. A minute or two later, the woman comes up to me.)

Woman: “She didn’t want to hear what I had to say.”

Me: “Okay…?”

Woman: “I just wanted to say I bought a pie here the other day and it was awful.”

Me: “Oh. Well, I can get a manager for you—“

Woman: “No, I don’t want a manager. I just want someone to listen to me.”

Me: “Uh, okay?”

(At this point a line is forming up behind her so I’m kind of trying to get her to buy whatever she has in her hands and move on.)

Woman: “When someone has a complaint you just say, ‘Thank you,’ and move on.”

Me: “O… kay… um… do you want your receipt?”

Woman: “No. I just want someone to listen. When someone complains you just say, ‘Thank you.’”

Me: “Okay. Well, you have a nice day.”

(My voice and tone had not changed throughout this entire transaction, except for me being kind of confused. Then, suddenly…)

Woman: *angry* “Well, you don’t have to get offended!”

Me: “I’m… not?”

Woman: “Well, you were. There’s no reason to get offended. You just say, ‘Thank you,’ and move on!”

(Then, she stormed off. I still have no idea what was going on.)

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