Maybe Mom Needs A Nap, Too

, , , , | Learning | March 20, 2020

(At our preschool, parents can pick their kid up as late as 6:00 pm. Therefore, unless the parent doesn’t want them to, we have the kids lay down after lunch for an hour or so to nap. On this day, I am with the four or five non-napping kids doing a quiet activity in a different room when a parent comes. The kid is excited to leave early, and the mom looks in the lunchbox. One of the lids to a Tupperware type thing is missing.)

Mom: “[Kid], where is the lid to your apples?”

Kid: “I don’t know.”

Mom: *looks at me* “Where is it?”

Me: “Um, it might be in the room where we ate lunch.”

Mom: “Which room is that?”

Me: “Across the hall, but everyone else is in there napping at the moment.”

Mom: “But it’s in there?”

Me: “Yes. I can go look when they wake up. [Kid], do you know where you might have put the lid?”

Kid: “No.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll look in there once everyone is awake.”

Mom: “But the lid is in there?”

(She seriously looked at me like I was supposed to abandon the kids who are awake, go into that room, wake everyone else up, and find the lid right then and there. Eventually, the mom and kid left. When everyone else woke up half an hour later, I went back in and found the lid in the trash can. Guess the kid took me saying, “Clean up your mess and throw away your trash,” too seriously.)

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A Body Of Evidence

, , , , , , | Right | March 20, 2020

(A customer sets a large amount of chains on the counter.)

Customer: “Do you think this is enough to hold down a body?”

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Well, That Escalated… And Escalated…

, , , , , , | Right | March 20, 2020

Customer: “Can I use this coupon?”

Cashier: “No, it’s expired.”

Customer: “That was a rhetorical question. I’d like to use this coupon.”

Cashier: “It’s expired.”

Customer: “Well, what does that mean?”

Cashier: “It means I can’t accept this coupon.”

Customer: “And why not?”

Cashier: “Well, for one thing, we don’t have the item it’s discounting anymore.”

Customer: “What?”

Cashier: “It’s not on the menu.”

Customer: “But you could still make it.”

Cashier: “No.”

Customer: “Well, can I use this for something else?”

Cashier: “No.”

Customer: “Ask your manager.”

Cashier: “It’s expired.”

Customer: “You don’t know that. Ask your manager.”

Cashier: “There’s an expiration date printed in the corner.”

Customer: “You haven’t even asked.”

Cashier: *to the manager* “Got a second?”

Manager: *to the cashier* “I don’t. Hang on.”

Customer: *to both* “I’ll wait.”

(He waits. The cashier waits. Everyone in line waits.)

Manager: “Okay, how can I help?”

Customer: “What can I use this coupon for?”

Manager: “Nothing. That coupon is expired.”

Customer: “But you don’t have this item.”

Manager: “Good point. It’s expired and we don’t have that item.”

Customer: “So, can I use it for something else?”

Manager: “No.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Manager: “The coupon’s for that. And it’s no good anymore.”

Customer: “Can I use it for this menu item?”

Manager: “You can’t use it at all.”

Customer: “Well, what about this one?”

Manager: “You can’t use an expired coupon.”

Customer: “Call the owner.”

Manager: “I am the owner.”

Customer: “Call the real owner.”

Manager: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “The corporate owner. Call the CEO.”

(If this case doesn’t make it to the Supreme Court, I’m going to be severely disappointed.)

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Call The CEO! Just Do It!

, , , | Right | March 19, 2020

(I work footwear in a large sporting goods store. An older gentleman comes in:)

Customer: “I have bought three pairs of the same [Shoe Model]s from one of your competitors that have all been ‘defective’ on me.”

Me: “The shoe might not be right for your foot.”

Customer: “Why don’t you call [Major Brand] and figure out what the problem is?”

(I chuckle, thinking he is joking, but he looks at me dead serious.)

Me: “You want me to call [Brand] and ask them what is wrong with a pair of shoes that you didn’t even buy at our store?”

Customer: “No, you can just get them on the phone and I will talk to them.”

Me: “Sorry, sir, I can’t just ‘call’ [Brand], but if you have a problem with a pair of their shoes they have customer service, and since you didn’t buy the shoes at our store there isn’t much else I can do.”

Customer: “Why can’t you just get them on the phone for me?”

Me: “Sorry, sir, I just can’t.”

Customer: “I don’t understand why not; you have their stuff all over your store.”

(I apologize five more times, yet he still persists that I get [Brand] on the phone.)

Me: “You know what? On second thought, I think I have the CEO of [Brand] on speed dial on my personal cell.”

(After that, I called over a manager to talk to him and he left unsatisfied. It’s one of the more interesting experiences I have had at that job.)

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This Is Confusing Six Ways From Sunday

, , , , | Right | March 19, 2020

Me: “Okay, here’s your cup and here’s your number. We’ll bring the food to your table once it’s ready.”

Customer: “Uh, I know this is weird, but could I possibly have a different number? I don’t like this one.”

(I look at the number he has — six — and then back at him.)

Me: “Uh… sure.”

(I hand him another number and watch him leave. I then turn to the expo line and tell my coworker that his ticket is for another number, not six.)

Me: “He just said he didn’t like his number and wanted another one.”

Coworker: “Was he joking?”

Me: “I really don’t know.”

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