New Mom, New Order

, , , | Right | October 12, 2019

(I’m turning myself in on this one. It is shortly after I’ve given birth to my first daughter. My husband and I only have one car, so after his paternity leave is up I am stuck at home. One day my husband decides to treat me to my favorite Mexican fast food chain only to get the order wrong. He forgot to say no onion, and in my exhausted new-parent stage I drive back to the drive-thru.)

Me: “Hi, sorry. My husband was just here, but he ordered my food wrong. I have the receipt and food and was just wondering if I could get it made with no onion, instead?”

Cashier: *very confused* “Uh, hang on. Let me get you a manager.”

(At this point, I can faintly hear her explaining the situation and the manager actually laughing.)

Manager: *on the headset to me* “Hi. So, let me get this straight. Your husband ordered your food wrong, we made it correctly — how he asked for it — and now you want a free replacement?”

(It then dawns on me how silly I sound. I honestly didn’t think it was that weird of a request until I heard it said back to me. I am so embarrassed I just sit there in silence.)

Manager: *sighing heavily and clearly frustrated* “Fine. But this is a one-time thing!”

(I pulled up and got my replacement food. Thank you, kind employees, for humoring a new, exhausted mom!)

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Pull Up Your Garters And Get Down To Work

, , , , | Right | October 11, 2019

(I work at a large, national retail store as a cashier. It is a quiet night, and only one coworker and my manager are working with me. My manager comes walking up to my coworker and me.)

Manager: “So, uh, are either of you guys good with snakes? Because I’m terrified of them, and a customer just came in and asked for help. She thinks there’s a snake in her van and is scared to drive home.”

(My coworker and I look at each other.)

Coworker: “Ugh, I hate snakes!”

Me: “Actually, I have no problem with them. I live out by the woods; I’ve been catching garter snakes since I was little.”

(I followed the customer out to her van with a flashlight. It turned out that a garter snake had, indeed, found its way into her vehicle, and I fished it out for her. Whenever I’m asked at interviews how far I’d go to make a customer happy, I always tell this story. It’s certainly the oddest request I’ve ever had in more than ten years of working in customer service.)

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Stubbing Out That Idea

, , , , , , | Working | October 11, 2019

(I process payroll for a chain restaurant for a living. Part of my job is answering employee inquiries, ranging from “Can you help me set up my direct deposit?” to “I’m missing hours on my payroll.” I have a decent amount of experience, so it takes a bit to surprise me, but this is a gem that I’ve never received before. This is a call I get one Friday afternoon.) 

Me: “[Company] payroll, how can I help?”

Employee: “Yes, hello? Is this payroll for [Restaurant]?”

Me: “Yes, it is. How can I help?”

Employee: “I need to cash my check but I don’t have the time to go to [Restaurant] to pick it up and then to the bank to cash it, so I was wondering, can I just go online and print the thing from there and take it to the bank?”

(I start internally troubleshooting. Is this a direct deposit? Maybe he got the information wrong in the system and wants to take his pay stub to the bank so they can see if they can find it?) 

Me: “I’m sorry, I’m not sure I understand. What’s your name?”

Employee: “[Employee].”

Me: *logs into the system and pulls up the employee’s pay information* “I’m seeing that this was a live check, which means it would be at the store.”

(Then, it dawns on me.)

Me: “I’m sorry, are you asking if you can print out your pay stub and take it to the bank to try to cash it?”

Employee: “Yeah!”

Me: “Sorry, [Employee], that isn’t possible.”

Employee: “Why not?”

Me: “That just isn’t how it works. Our checks have special features on them that the bank needs in order to cash it.”

Employee: “Like what? What does it have that the pay stub doesn’t?”

Me: “Well, for one, it has the account number so they know which account to pull the funds. All payroll checks also have magnetic ink, which would be a big indicator of the pay stub not being valid. Also, the pay stub is just to show you how your check was calculated. It isn’t a check.”

Employee: *smacks teeth* “Man, how am I supposed to have money for the weekend?”

Me: “I don’t suppose you have mobile banking?”

Employee: “What is that?”

Me: “It’s basically an app for your bank that’ll allow you to deposit your check into your account from anywhere, so you could go pick up the check and mobile deposit it.”

Employee: “Can I do that with the pay stub?”

Me: “Unfortunately, no. It’s not a check, remember? What if you pick up the check and go to a check-cashing facility or a money center?”

Employee: “I can do that? I thought I could only do it with my bank?”

Me: “You sure can! I used to cash my checks at [Large Retail Chain]. There will be a fee, but it’s usually less than $10. Do you have a store or money center near you?”

Employee: “I do! That should work. Thank you for your help!”

Me: “No problem! I’m glad I could help. Have a great day!”

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Slush With Excuses

, , , , , | Right | October 11, 2019

(I work in a cinema. At the end of the night, we put the automatic doors on exit-only thirty minutes after the last film begins so we can start closing down, cashing up, and cleaning. I’m an hour into my cleaning when I spot a guy walking towards the doors, and I elect to ignore him, as I hope he will notice the doors won’t open and go away. Instead, he begins to bang on the doors. I walk over to activate the automatic door function.)

Customer: “Thanks.” *starts walking towards the till*

Me: “Sorry, we’re closed now.”

Customer: “Closed? What do you mean, closed? I wanted a slushie!”

Me: “We’re closed for the night; that’s why you couldn’t get through the doors.”

Customer: *sighs heavily* “But I came all the way here for a slushie.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we’ve been closed for an hour now. I can’t sell you a slush. There are no tills and the machines have been cleaned.”

Customer: “Well… it’s an awful long way to drive for a slush and not get one.”

Me: “Well… it’s an awful long time spent cleaning and cashing tills up to undo it all for a drink.”

(He left.)

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These Boots Were Made For Walking, And That’s What They Didn’t Do

, , , , | Right | October 11, 2019

(I’m working the customer service desk one day when an older man walks up and sets a shoebox on the counter.)

Customer: “I need to return these. My wife bought them a bit ago, but she passed away before she got a chance to wear them.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. Do you happen to have the receipt?”

(We have a relatively lenient return policy. We can process returns without a receipt. If you used your rewards card, a debit or credit card, or a check, we can find your purchase. If you cannot provide any of the above, we do a non-receipted return with ID.)

Customer: “No, no receipt.”

Me: “No worries. Did you use your rewards card?”

Customer: “I don’t know. My wife bought them.”

Me: “All righty, let’s check!”

(I scan his rewards card and then scan the shoebox. They were clearly purchased at our store because our sticker is on the box. However, nothing shows up.)

Me: “Well, it’s not showing up with your rewards card; we’ll have to use your ID.”

Customer: “Okay.” *he hands me his ID*

(I go through the steps and enter his information, then I scan the shoes again. Nothing shows up. This leads to me going into our computer system to find the shoes. I search using every possible description that I can think of, and they aren’t showing up. I finally call over to the shoe lead, and she comes over to help. We search for a further ten minutes or so, during which the customer begins to get upset, asking why we can’t just process the return. The shoe lead comes back with this gem:)

Shoe Lead: “While these shoes were purchased here, they’re showing in the system for a penny. We haven’t sold these since 1999. We can’t take them back.”

Customer: “Why can’t you just take them back? She died before she could wear them. She obviously got them here.”

Shoe Lead: “We can’t take these back, because we haven’t carried this shoe in over sixteen years.”

Customer: “Well, what am I supposed to do with them? She never wore them!”

(He then storms away.)

Shoe Lead: “Isn’t there a Salvation Army drop-off in our parking lot? Can’t he just take them there?”

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