You Cannot Appease The Cheese

, , , , | Right | February 18, 2020

(Part of my job is to mark down low-coded stock and remove anything that has passed its use-by date. I usually put anything to be dumped into a crate and remove it from the shop once finished. This particular day, a woman comes up to the reduced bays and starts rifling through the reduced items. She then spots the out-of-date stock in the crate and makes to go through it.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but that stuff is no good; I can’t sell it to you.”

Customer: “But I need some cheese. Can’t you just let me have it?”

Me: “No, sorry. Once a product is out of date, it’s illegal to sell it, so I can’t let you take it.”

Customer: “But you could give it to me, right? I could just take it, right?”

Me: “No, sorry. Same deal. I can’t give it to you or sell it to you.”

Customer: “But I could just take it, right? If I just took some, I could just not say anything, right?”

Me: “No. All it would take is for you to return it and say it was out of date and I would lose my job. They’re pretty strict on this kind of stuff and I’m not risking my job for a few dollars of out-of-date cheese.”

(The customer then tries to reach past me to get at the out-of-date stock; I have to physically block her from taking the stock.)

Customer: “That’s so wasteful. I bet it just goes in the bin. I can’t believe you’d rather throw it out than just give it away.”

Me: “That’s the company’s policy, not mine. In any event, I can’t let you take anything.” 

(I then had to leave the shop floor and take the stock out the back as she would not take the hint that she couldn’t have the out-of date-stock. She later complained to a manager that I wouldn’t give her reduced stock, neglecting to mention the stock was out of date. When questioned, I explained the situation to my manager who said I did the right thing to refuse her as she could have easily tried to return it, claiming it was out of date and costing me my job.)

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When Their First Step Is To Call Corporate, Worry

, , , , | Right | February 18, 2020

(I work in a lingerie store at the mall. We have a store policy that we cannot accept screenshots or pictures of coupons, only the physical coupon or the email in which the coupon was sent. Usually, when I explain this to customers, they totally understand and everything is fine. Then, there’s this lady. I’m ringing out her items and she hands me her phone to scan her coupon. I see that it’s just a picture of the back of the coupon, so I hand her phone back to her.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can’t accept a picture of the coupon, I’ll need the physical coupon in order to use it.”

Customer: “My husband sent that to me; I left it at home.”

Me: “I understand, but I’m really sorry. I can’t use it. You can always come back with today’s receipt and the physical coupon, and then we’d be glad to honor it for you.”

(Normally, this is where customers go, “Oh, okay,” and continue with the transaction. She does not. She steps off to the side with her phone. I don’t know what she is doing. Texting her husband to tell him to bring it in?)

Customer: “What’s the number to corporate?”

Me: “To… corporate?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Um, give me one second while I ask my manager.”

(I talk through my headset to my manager.)

Me: “Hey, I have a customer here at cash who wants the number to corporate.”

Manager: “Uh… well, we can’t just give them the ‘number to corporate.’ That’s not a thing. Here, I’ll give you the customer care number.”

(My manager gives me the number and I give it to the woman. She steps off to the side, and I suspend her transaction so I can continue to ring through the increasing line. Then, I hear her suck her teeth.)

Customer: “This isn’t the number to corporate. I want a direct line to corporate.”

Me: “Um, okay. Give me one second to see if we have another number.”

(I go on my headset again.)

Me: “Hey, so my customer wants a direct line to corporate?”

Manager: “What? Okay, well, here’s this number that skips through the number pressing and takes you right to a person. Hopefully, it’s the right person?”

(I give the customer the new number.)

Customer: “Ugh, this is the same thing. I want the number to corporate.”

Me: “I’m sorry, that’s the only number we have.”

(She rolls her eyes and stays on the line until a person picks up. I’m still working on ringing the next customers.)

Customer: *on the phone* “Yes, your cashier won’t take my coupon so she’s making me waste my time by calling you.”

(And now I was pissed. She literally didn’t say anything as she stepped aside to call “corporate” until she asked me for their number. I wasn’t making her do anything, and she was certainly wasting her own time. I guess my manager saw the look of pure anger on my face and told me to take my break. “Right now.” So, I did. By the time my half-hour break was over, this lady was STILL on the phone at the register. They gave her a 20%-off coupon code to redeem at the register just to appease her. I hate when they do that; it just teaches the customer that they can get away with s***. She apparently ranted the whole time about how we were all wasting her time, MAKING her call “corporate.” If she would have just agreed to come back later with her receipt and coupon, she would’ve been out of there in three minutes.)

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How Dare You Deign To Eat!

, , , , | Right | February 18, 2020

(I just clocked out for my meal and I’m making my way to the back room when a customer stops me.)

Customer: “Excuse me, I have a question.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I’m actually on my meal right now. Customer service can help you, though.”

Customer: *scoffs* “Well, then!”

(I quickly walk to the back and eat in peace. After my thirty-minute meal is up, I clock back in and get back to work. An hour later, the same customer comes back up to me.)

Customer: *rudely* “Are you still on your meal?”

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Refund A Third Time’s The Charm

, , , | Right | February 18, 2020

(A customer approaches my register asking to do a return.)

Customer: “This hair product was recommended to me by one of your cosmeticians, but it isn’t the right one. I want to exchange it with this one.”

Me: “Okay. So, what I’ll do is refund this one and then ring up this one. Do you have your receipt?”

Customer: “No.”

(I’m a bit taken aback, since our return policy states that you need your receipt, and it’s mercifully rare that people try to return things without the receipt.)

Me: “Oh. I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can’t do a return without the receipt.”

Customer: “I was in here the other day, and one of your cosmeticians recommended this product to me. But this is neither the appropriate product for my hair type nor is it the right colour. So I want to get this one, instead. Why can’t I just exchange them?”

Me: “Unfortunately, we can’t do straight exchanges. I have to refund the original item and then ring up the new one separately, and I can’t give a refund without the receipt.”

(The customer stares at me for a few moments with a blank look that feels like she’s trying to bore a hole into my skull… though that could just be my interpretation.)

Customer: “Can I speak to a supervisor?”

Me: “Sure!”

(I page the supervisor on duty. When she arrives, she first examines the product to verify that everything is still in the box. Then, she recommends that the customer take the product to the cosmetics counter to see if they can do anything, but she warns her that they probably won’t refund it without a receipt, either. The customer heads in the direction of the cosmetics counter. Less than a minute later, I hear my supervisor being paged to the cosmetics counter, which almost certainly means that the customer was denied a refund again, and that she asked for a supervisor AGAIN.)

Me: “Seriously?!”

(When I get the chance, I find my supervisor:)

Me: “When you got paged to cosmetics, was it the same lady who was trying to return the hair colour without a receipt?”

Supervisor: “Yeah.”

Me: “You didn’t do it, did you?”

Supervisor: “No.”

Me: “Oh, thank God. I would’ve been so mad if you had.”

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Should Sellotape The No-Alcohol Sign To Him

, , , , | Right | February 18, 2020

(In Scotland, we have an alcohol curfew. You can’t buy it after 10:00 pm or before 10:00 am. Most people know, but you still get a few who try their luck, and most of them are downright rude and give us verbal abuse for it. However, this guy pretty much makes up for all of those rude customers. It happens when I’m serving, and my colleague is trying to cash up one of the tills.)

Colleague: “I’m sorry, you can’t buy that wine. It’s after ten o’clock.”

Guy: *obviously drunk* “Aw, come on! I won’t tell anyone. Just one bottle.”

Colleague: “I really, really can’t.”

Guy: “You can! Look, if you put it through the till and then print off the receipt, then you get this pen here and change the time on it to before ten o’clock!”

Colleague: “That won’t work.”

Guy: “All right… How about I take the wine outside and then throw the money into the shop for you? It’d be like I’m stealing it but will give you the money and you won’t get into trouble!”

(My colleague now looks helplessly at me, on the verge of laughter.)

Me: “Sorry. It’s not a [Store] policy; it’s law. We can’t sell it to you or give it to you.”

Guy: “Aw, man. Come on. Just this once?”

Colleague: “I think you’re best off going home.”

Guy: *picks up Sellotape that we keep on the tills* “Can I have this, then?”

Colleague: “I’m afraid we need that.”

Guy: “Hey, have either of you ever seen The Office?”

(Both my colleague and I were now laughing but managed to tell him no, we hadn’t seen “The Office.” It’s worth mentioning that I moved the wine from the till to behind it, so none of this was a distraction so he could pinch it. He made us both promise to watch “The Office,” and said that he would be back in to ask us some questions about it to see if we really had watched it. He tried a few more times to get his drink, which both of us declined. He then asked us if we had to wear our uniforms and if we have a special store T-shirt on underneath our fleeces, and suddenly decided a trolley we use to display reduced items on needed to be put in a better place and tried to move it. All the while, my colleague and I were creasing up. Suddenly, the embarrassment set in; he made us promise that when he came in next time to buy his milk or whatever else that we wouldn’t laugh at him. We did promise, and we kept that promise, though I have to admit it was hard when I saw him for the first time since his drunken visit!)

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