Calling Until They’re Bob Blue In The Face

, , , , | Working | August 10, 2017

(I used to work for a clothing store that is part of a huge company that spans many brands, is one of the best known in the UK, and is owned by a multimillionaire. It’s after closing and I am in the office with my manager cashing up, when the phone rings. She decides to answer it and this is the conversation that takes place.)

Caller: “Hello, I’m calling from [Random Company]. May I please speak to the owner of the business?”

Manager: “The owner of the business? You want to speak to [Owner]? The owner of [Company]? The multimillionaire?”

Caller: “Yes, please. Is he available?”

Manager: “Hold on; let me check.” *holds the phone away from her without muting it* “[Owner]? [Owner]? Are you here?” *back to caller* “No, sorry, he’s on his yacht.”

Caller: “Okay, I’ll call back another time.”

Children Of The Vase

, , , | General | August 9, 2017

(My hotel is hosting a wedding reception, and lots of the people there are not staying; they are relatives. One such woman comes up to me with a large vase.)

Customer: “Could you hold this for me for a few minutes?”

Me: “Well, okay; only for a few minutes, though.”

Customer: *smiles and disappears*

(Though it’s not my duty to help these non-guests, I figure she has to go to the bathroom and doesn’t want to hold a large vase. A few minutes pass, then an hour, then two hours. A little boy comes over, takes the vase, and leaves with it.)

Me: “Uh, hey?”

(He doesn’t look back. Figuring it’s the woman’s son, I shrug and continue work. Then the woman comes over and exaggeratedly looks around.)

Customer: “Hey, where’s the vase?”

Me: “A little boy came and took it… He wasn’t your son?”

Customer: “No, I don’t have a son! I told you to watch my vase!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but you did say a few minutes.”

Customer: “So? You’re supposed to look after it forever if need be! What terrible customer service! I can’t believe you let some strange kid take my vase!”

(She convinced her relative, who was staying here, to file a complaint. She actually got compensated, but my manager didn’t punish me. Phew.)

Completely Blowing Up

, , , , | Right | August 8, 2017

(A customer is talking about something that she wants me to blow up to poster size, and telling me that it’s from a certain magazine, and as she’s talking I’m just thinking ‘oh man, I don’t even know if I can copy this’ … So when she’s done talking about it, I start to tell her it might be copyrighted.)

Me: “So, since this is from a magazine, and the page has been cut out, I don’t know what their copyright says. Maybe I can Google the magazine and see if it says anything on their website or something.”

Customer: “I’m not selling it or anything, so it’s fine.”

Me: “Depends on the copyright. Some copyrights specify more than others, and since we don’t have the whole magazine here, I can’t see what it says. Some copyrights are quite strict.”

Customer: “But it’s just for a present. I want a poster of it.”

Me: “Yeah, I know, but for example, if someone wanted a poster of a celebrity, they are supposed to find a poster from a company that is licenced to sell a poster of that celebrity. People aren’t supposed to get a picture off the Internet and blow that up to poster size.”

Customer: “People do that all the time.”

Me: “I’m sure they do, but they’re not allowed. Let me just Google the magazine, in case their copyright information is listed. What was the name of the magazine again?”

Customer: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Um, but you just told me the name of it a few minutes ago.”

Customer: “NO, I DIDN’T! YOU WEREN’T LISTENING TO ME!”

Me: *confused at this strange turn* “Um… okay… maybe I can still find it.”

(I begin Googling names I thought I remembered her saying, to see if something comes up.)

Customer: “I don’t understand why can’t you just blow this up!”

Me: “Because I’m not sure what the copyright on it says. It’s just our company copyright policy. It’s protecting the magazine company, just like any other people who have copyrights.”

Customer: “Can I talk to you manager!? Anyone else! I need to talk to your manager!”

Me: “Sure.” *I sigh when I say sure*

Customer: “Well, aren’t you sassy!”

Me: “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say it like that.”

Customer: “You just have horrible customer service, you know that?! I can’t believe you!”

(After my manager comes out, and tries to explain our policy to her, and how I’m correct, she interrupts him to say that I have horrible customer service and that I was “flippant” with her.)

Me: “I apologize. What did I say that upset you? I didn’t mean to be rude and I don’t want to continue to do that, so if you tell me what I did, maybe I can correct it for the future.”

(I’m trying not to cry at this point, and I’m sure you can hear that through my voice.)

Customer: “You were FLIPPANT!”

Me: “How?”

Customer: “Because you have HORRIBLE CUSTOMER SERVICE! YOU WERE FLIPPANT!”

Me: “Okay, again, I apologize, but I didn’t mean to be. I know when I said ‘sure,’ it came out a little rude, but what else did I do?”

Customer: “I SAID YOU WERE FLIPPANT! What you should have done, is tell me ‘I’m sorry this isn’t something we can normally do, but let me get my manager so we can work something out’.”

Me: “Yes, but you see, when it comes to copyright, there is no ‘working out’ that we can do. It’s a serious offence, and we can’t just bend the rules for it.”

Customer: “You should just let the customer be right!”

(My manager stepped in to explain how we couldn’t do that, and how I could be fined personally, so it was a chance we can’t take. I ended up booking in an order of plaque mounting for her photo, instead of blowing it up to poster size, and I was afraid the whole time that she would accuse me of being ‘fake’ or something since I was being polite. After the customer left, my manager called me into the office to tell me that the customer spoke to him afterwards, apologizing, and taking back her accusations about me. She said that I was very nice and helpful, and she was just mad at the situation and took it out on me. SERIOUSLY?!)

Trash Talking Long Distance

, , , , , | Right | August 8, 2017

(My family and I are on vacation. We also own a garbage company.)

Me: “Hey, mom, your phone is ringing.”

Mom: *picks up phone* “Hello, this is [Mom].”

Customer: “Why the h*** didn’t you pick up my garbage?”

Mom: “I’m sorry, we are on vacation and have someone different driving. He may just be running late.”

Customer: “I don’t care what’s happening. Get my garbage picked up right now, b****!”

Mom: “I’m sorry, but I can’t help you because I’m 1000 miles away.”

Customer: “Come get my f******* trash!”

(This continues for about 30 minutes.)

Customer: “Listen, if you don’t come get my trash right now I’m going to quit with your service.”

Mom: “Fine, we don’t need a customer like you anyway. Thanks for ruining my f****** vacation.” *hangs up*

Inside The Box But Outside The Window

, , , , | Right | August 8, 2017

(The store where I work has a three month return policy with receipt. I tend to be slightly more lenient with that policy, as much as I can without breaking it, by offering people trying to return past that date with store credit. Most people graciously take the offer. I am working with a man in his mid-30s trying to return a toy he bought for his son about five months before.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but the register will not process this refund because you bought this merchandise five months ago, and our return policy is three months. But if you’d like, I can offer you a store credit. That way you can still replace it if you wish.”

Customer: “I have never been treated so badly in my life! I paid cash for this item, so you’re going to give me cash back!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but it plainly says the policy is three months on your receipt, and it says so on this board behind me, too.”

Customer: “I have never been to a store with any kind of f****** return policy. A better store would take it back even if it were years old!”

Me: *slightly annoyed because that isn’t true whatsoever* “Well, that may be, sir, but at our store, policy is three months. It’s either my offer of a store credit or nothing.”

Customer: “Get me your manager!”

Manager: “Is there something I can do for you?”

Customer: “Yes. I want this toy returned, but she won’t give me cash for it. She’s only offering store credit, but I paid cash. I want my cash back.”

Manager: “Our store policy is three months and you’re well beyond that. I think she’s actually being quite generous with you by offering store credit. She’s not turning you away with nothing.”

Customer: “I paid cash and I want cash!”

Manager: “I’m sorry but it just isn’t going to happen. You can either take the store credit my employee so kindly offered you, or you can leave.”

Customer: *grabs toy and leaves in a huff*

Me: *explaining whole story to my manager*  “It’s been five months since he bought that toy and he only just took it out of the box, too.”

Manager: “Doubt he ever even showed it to his son.”

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