Cycling Through Useless Answers

, , , | Right | June 14, 2017

(I’m working at the auto desk in an auto parts and cycle store. There’s a separate desk for the cycling department, but people usually come to the auto desk if the cycling one is busy. This takes place on a hectic Sunday afternoon:)

Customer With Child: “What size is he?”

Me: “Uh… In regards to what, sorry?”

Customer With Child: “What frame size does he need?”

Me: “Oh, I’m not sure. I’m afraid you’ll have to talk with the cycle colleagues for that. Auto colleagues are only trained with car things.”

Customer With Child: “But they’re busy. Just help me or call someone over.”

Me: “All of the cycle colleagues are serving at the cycle desk, but as soon as one is free they’ll be able to help you.”

Customer With Child: “Just tell me the frame size, for f***’s sake!”

Me: “I couldn’t even guess. They can help you at the cycle desk.”

Customer With Child: “Say a number! JUST SAY IT!”

Me: “…3?”

Customer With Child: “Ugh, you’re useless.” *rolls eyes and walks out*

Under An Umbrella Of Entitlement

, , , , , | Right | June 14, 2017

(I work outside in a plant nursery and this particular day it has been bucketing down right since I woke up that morning. I am down at the info desk trying to dry off a bit when an middle-aged woman comes up.)

Customer: “You guys wouldn’t have any umbrellas to borrow, would you?”

Me: “No, ma’am, I’m sorry; we don’t.”

(She looks at me as if I had offended her.)

Customer: “Well, why not?! It’s raining outside! How am I meant to get any plants!”

Me: “I’m sorry. We used to, but people kept stealing and walking out with our umbrellas so we’ve stopped now.”

Customer: *rolls eyes and sighs* “Well, that’s just an inconvenience. You really should have a couple of umbrellas!”

(She walked off and I went into the office nearby. Only a couple minutes later I walked out after drying up to see the same woman walking back into our store with her own umbrella from her car.)

Pay It No Mind-Reading

, , , , | Right | June 14, 2017

(I used to manage a high-end fashion store. There are many branches across the UK. A customer approaches me, one who I have had no previous communication with.)

Customer: *holds up non-descript ladies top* “Is this the one my friend saw and liked at [Other Store in Nearby City]?”

Me: *attempting to use psychic ability* “I couldn’t possibly know. What did she say it looked like?”

Customer: “She didn’t. Just that she saw a top she liked in your store.”

Me: “I really can’t help you. You will have to ask your friend.”

Customer: *walks away deflated*

(I wondered if all retail workers are meant to have supernatural abilities, or whether she thought it was just me?)

A Storm Of Protest

, , , , , | Working | June 14, 2017

(It is January of 2015, and at the time, my state is getting hit often with really bad snow storms. On this day, I have a late shift, 5:00 to 10:00 pm, and the weather report is warning of another severe storm that is going to start kicking up around the time I am going to be headed into work. I live quite a ways away from the store and have to take several winding, hilly roads to get there, so for my own safety, I decide that morning to call out.)

Me: “Hi, this is [My Name]. The weather is going to be really bad, and I don’t feel safe coming in for my shift tonight.”

Manager: *coldly* “[My Name], weather isn’t an excuse not to come into work. If it was, everyone would be calling out. I’ve got a business to run. You have to come in for your shift tonight.”

Me: *speechless*

(So I head into work a few hours later and as I’m driving, the snow starts falling. I’m beyond angry that I have to come in, especially with the manager confirming to my face that he cares more about money than he does his employees’ safety, but I suck it up and head to my register. As I’m setting up, my manager is leaving for home and he heads over to me.)

Manager: “Hey, [My Name], when you called, I hadn’t checked the weather yet. I didn’t know how bad it is gonna be.”

Me: “Okay.”

(I knew he was lying, as the storm and been common knowledge for almost a week at that point, so I just nodded and didn’t say anything else. It took me over an hour to drive home in the dark that night, with several inches of snow covering the roads and continuing to fall. There were hardly any customers anyway, thanks to the bad weather, and so work could have easily survived without me. He was an awful manager, so I was quite happy when he moved to another store a few months later.)

Containing This Monkey Business

, , , , | Right | June 13, 2017

(I work in the front office of a local appliance company. On this particular day I’m busy with something at my desk when in my peripheral vision I see a customer walk by wheeling something in front of him. Since he is heading in the direction of our service department I just assume he is pushing something on a dolly to be looked at. I don’t think anything of it. A few minutes later we hear a strange noise like an animal chattering.)

Coworker: “What was that?”

Me: “If someone brought a bird in here, I’m leaving. I hate birds.”

Coworker: “Maybe it was the wheels of that guy’s cart squeaking against the floor.”

(I remember a story one of my other coworkers had told me about an animal someone had brought in once before, but I wasn’t ready to believe it would happen again. That is, until the man with the cart walks by again and I see that he isn’t pushing an appliance on a dolly, he is wandering back and forth through the store with a cage containing two monkeys.)

Me: “He’s got a monkey!”

Coworker: “Oh, man, the monkey lady is back.”

(The man left the store a moment later with the monkeys and shortly following, the lady in question came up to pay for her order. When she left the owner came out of his office.)

Owner: “Last time she had the thing sitting on her shoulder. Which was fine until it jumped onto another customer’s back. Fortunately they didn’t mind but if it had been someone else we could’ve been in real trouble.”

Coworker: “And when she came to pay last time it was picking up pens off the counter and throwing them while she laughed and said ‘you’re a naughty little monkey!’”

Owner: “So we told her if she ever brought it back with her it had to be contained. She kept asking why, like she couldn’t understand that a lot of people don’t like monkeys.”

(At least she did end up listening!)

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