The Picture Of An Impossible Request

, , , , , | Right | June 23, 2017

Customer: *dropping off film* “How long will this take?”

Me: “About an hour.”

Customer: “I’m in a hurry; can you make it 20 minutes?”

Me: “It takes at least 40 minutes to develop and print film, and that’s if I have nothing else going on.”

Customer: “So it can’t be done in 20 minutes?”

Their Complaining Spree Has Hit A Bump

, , , , , | Right | June 23, 2017

(My colleague is seven months pregnant. She’s quite petite so it’s obvious that she’s carrying a child, and most of the customers she’s helped out have noticed and congratulated her. It’s currently summer and our store can get quite hot, so our boss has allowed her to sit on a stool behind the checkout and have a small fan on her counter. I am working at the counter next to her when a customer approaches her.)

Customer: “There’s a product on the very top shelf that I need you to get down for me.”

Colleague: “Of course, ma’am. [My Name] will be happy to find a ladder and help you out with that.

Customer: “What?! How dare you try and just palm me off onto somebody else! Why can’t you just do it yourself?!”

Colleague: *gesturing to her bump* “Well, as you can see I shouldn’t really be climbing up on ladders in my current condition.”

Customer: “You lazy cow; what’s that supposed to mean?”

Colleague: “I’m sorry, but I can’t get up on a ladder because I’m preg—”

Customer: “No, I don’t want to hear any more of your excuses. Clearly you think you’re in some sort of privileged position with your fan and stool behind the counter while your poor colleagues slave away in the heat. Go and find a ladder right now or I’ll call and complain to your manager.”

(Overhearing the entire conversation, I decide to step in.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but my colleague has been trying to tell you that she’s obviously quite pregnant and for medical reasons cannot put herself in a position where she risks a fall.”

(The customer looks at Colleague’s bump, the light bulb clearly switching on in her head.)

Customer: “It’s not very high up! She’s still supposed to be helping me. She should go and fetch it!”

Me: “You wouldn’t want to be responsible for the death of an unborn child, would you? Now, if you show me what you need from the top shelf I’ll happily get it down for you.”

(The customer glared at me and started barking orders. At least she left my poor colleague alone after that.)

Used By The Fashion Police

, , , , , , | Right | June 22, 2017

Customer: “Do you have body bags?”

Me: “Umm… what?”

(The customer describes something like a poncho.)

Me: “A poncho?”

Customer: “NO! A BODYBAG.”

(The customer then flagged down someone of another ethnicity to help her, saying they would know what she meant. I still have no idea.)

That Demand Is Gambling With Ridiculousness

, , , | Right | June 21, 2017

(The building where I used to work 10 years ago contained several restaurants; you could walk through some of them to get to the others. The restaurant next to ours has a few slot machines, which are on the “border” between the two places. Our break room is next to the machines. One day, one of the gamblers gets angry about not winning again. This time, he takes it out on us.)

Gambler: “Hey, keep quiet! I can’t hear the slot properly!”

Coworker: “Ehm… what?”

(Some of these gamblers seem to think that, if you listen very carefully, you can hear a click which tells you when to push the “stop”-button. Apart from the fact that this is nonsense, there is always noise in the restaurants.)

Gambler: “You guys are making way too much noise, with all your talking and laughing in there! Come on! Get a life!”

Coworker: “Are you seriously telling us to get a life, just because we have a nice chat while on break? We’re not the ones sitting behind a gambling machine all day, wasting our time and money.”

Cardigan And Again And Again

, , , | Right | June 19, 2017

(I work in my local Oxfam, mostly on one of the tills. The other day a customer comes in and tries on a woollen cardigan. After she’s tried it she comes up to me:)

Customer: “Excuse me, but I don’t think this item should be on display. I just tried it in on and it left hairs all over me.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll let the manager know about this and she’ll decide whether it’ll be taken of the rack.”

(The customer then goes back to browsing. The manager then comes down to let me take a break.)

Me: “I had a customer tell me that she didn’t think this cardigan should be on the rack. It left hairs all over her.”

Manager: “Okay.”

(She then puts the item back on the rack and takes over from while I go have a break. About 10 minutes later I come down from my break and take over the till again.)

Manager: “You didn’t tell me that she hadn’t left the shop.”

Me: “Oh, sorry.”

Manager: “It’s okay.”

(I get back to the till, a lack of customers paying for items leaves my eyes to inspect the store just as the manager comes down to put some stock out. At this point I notice something going on at the other till.)

Me: “I think that [Volunteer] might need your help with something.”

(The manager then goes down to the other till to check up on what’s going on. It gets sorted out, and she comes back and tells me what happened.)

Manager: “Funny story. That customer who you dealt with earlier came back, only this time she started looking for the cardigan, just so that she could complain about it still being out.”

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