Having A Midday Crisis

, , , | Right | February 6, 2018

(I work as a waitress in a nice, small restaurant. You can get a particular midday dish from 11:00 am until 2:00 pm. One evening, an upset woman comes into our restaurant.)

Customer: “Why can’t I get the midday dish in the evening?”

Me: “Because it’s the midday dish, and it’s not midday anymore.”

Customer: “The midday dishes you offer are so nice compared to the s*** on your small menu.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that you don’t like the offerings on our menu.”

Customer: “It’s so stupid that you don’t offer that dish all day!”

Me: “We are just a small restaurant, and our cook already offers a lot of different dishes, freshly made for you. But I can ask the cook. If he has something left from the midday, you can still get this dish.”

Customer: “I just can’t understand why I can’t get this dish in the evening!”

Me: “Like I said, it is no problem to ask the cook; he will be willing to prepare this dish for you.”

Customer: “Now I don’t want it anymore.” *walks off*

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Toying With The Numbers

, , , , | Right | February 2, 2018

(The restaurant I work in has toys that go with the kids’ meals. There are various ones that change from time to time. Right now they are a very popular series of characters that are highly sought-after.)

Customer: “What toys do you have?”

Me: “We have numbers three and nine.”

Customer: “That’s all?”

Me: “That’s all for now. We may have another one later this week.”

Customer: “Do you have number five?”

Me: “No, just numbers three and nine.”

Customer: “Oh. Well do you have the [costume styled] one?”

Me: “No, just the two.”

Customer: “You have number two?! Well, I need that one; I’ll take one!”

Me: “We don’t have number two. I said we have two numbers: three and nine.”

Customer: “Well… do you have number seven?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “You’re very unhelpful.”

Me: “Sorry.”

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Hard-Pressed To Complain About The Press

, , , | Right | February 2, 2018

(The front page of one of today’s national newspapers shows a young Princess Elizabeth, who of course is now our Queen, apparently being shown a Nazi salute in 1933 by her uncle, the future Edward VIII. A customer is at my till buying the paper.)

Me: “Ooh, that’s going to be a bit of a scandal.”

Customer: *laughs* “I just bumped into a friend of mine outside who works for the local paper. She said a woman rang them up to complain about the press coverage of this story.”

Me: “But this is a national paper.”

Customer: “My friend asked if she had a local angle to the story, but apparently this woman thought that you could just call your newspaper if you wanted to complain about ‘the press,’ and wanted them to pass on her complaints to the [National Paper].”

Me: “Let me guess. She huffed and puffed when she found out the local paper had no say on it?”

Customer: “Yep! She shouted she was never going to buy [Local Paper] ever again unless they printed an apology to the Queen on the front page, and then she hung up!”

Me: *laughing* “There’s always one, isn’t there? Here’s your change.”

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Time For You To Recruitment Drive The Other Way

, , , , , | Working | February 2, 2018

(A customer calls in an order for multiples coffees, nothing unusual. When she gets here, I ring up her order and package any additional pastries she wants. As we are going over the list, she suddenly asks me:)

Customer: “Hey, do you know anyone looking for full-time employment?”

Me: “Um, I’m not sure. Sorry.”

Customer: “The last three people we set interviews with didn’t show, so we’re looking for new people. Can I give you my number?”

(I make a noncommittal comment about how cruddy it is that people don’t show up. We finish the transaction, and she begins to leave, before turning around.)

Customer: “Here. Take my name and number. We’re hiring. Put it on Facebook, or something, and let people know.”

(Not only did she never once tell me WHERE she worked, but she was asking me to help poach employees from the company I currently worked at. Wow.)

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A Sad Sample Of Society

, , , | Right | February 1, 2018

(A teenage girl comes in and looks at the ice cream for a while. We only have 16 ice cream flavors at a time. My dad owns the shop.)

Customer: “Can I have more than one sample?”

Me: “Sure.”

Dad: *making a joke he often makes to put people at ease* “You can have up to 16!” *walks away*

(The customer then proceeds to ask for a sample of about 10 of our 16 ice cream flavors, and doesn’t bat an eye as my smile slowly fades. I admit that by then I looked pretty irritated. When she has sampled quite a few, her friends come in.)

Customer #2: “You’re sampling all of them?!”

Customer #1: “They said I could.”

(They both look at me questioningly.)

Me: *in a thoroughly bad mood by now* “Yes, technically. But it is kind of silly.”

Customer #1: “Oh. I didn’t know that. Can I have a sample of [flavor]?”

(She continues to do this until she has tried them all, including vanilla. She and her friends go sit down and wait for their teacher, who is treating them all to whatever they want. After they have all ordered, while they are receiving their dishes of ice cream, the teacher pays. [Customer #1] accepts her medium dish.)

Customer #1: “Can I have some cookie dough pieces on top?”

(It costs 60 cents for a candy, and the teacher has already paid for everyone and sat down.)

Me: “Yes, but you’ll have to pay for it.”

(She didn’t say anything. I added the cookie dough and she went and hit up her teacher for 60 cents.)

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