Their Service Is 0.5 Better Than The Rest

, , , | Right | February 13, 2018

(I am helping a young man and his father find new shoes for school.)

Son: “Do you have these in a size 10?”

Me: “I’ll check.”

(I go to and return from stock room.)

Me: “Sorry, I don’t have a 10. I have the same shoe in a 9.5 or a 10.5, though, and I brought them if you want to try either on.”

Father: “What do you mean you don’t have a 10? What kind of place is this?”

Me: “Sorry, sir. We are currently sold out of that size, but I do have either a half-size bigger or smaller here with me.”

Son: “I’ll try them on.”

Father: “NO! We wanted the size 10! I will not be shopping here for my son’s school shoes again! Do you have another location close by?”

Me: “No. Our closest location is an eight-hour drive away, but you could check at [Competitor] that is also in this mall.”

Father: “They’ll probably have better service than you!”

(They leave and come back about an hour later, the father looking very unhappy.)

Son: “Can I just get those shoes in the 10.5?”

(The competitor has a reputation in our town for having poor-quality customer service.)

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Not Berry Nice

, , , , | Right | February 13, 2018

(I work at a grocery store that is undergoing renovation, set to end a few weeks before Christmas. There are many “moments,” but this one takes the everlasting chocolate fudge cake. By this point, we have finished the remodel, and it is January, when this guy decides to yell at a coworker and me.)

Customer: “This is ridiculous!”

Me: “Can I help you, sir?”

Customer: “Yeah. Why were you doing all this construction with people still in the store?”

Me: “Sir, during the remodel we closed the store at nine pm when the construction guys came in to work overnight, so there would be less of an inconvenience to our customers.”

Customer: *shouting in our faces* “Well, it was an inconvenience! You remodeled for six months! You should have just closed the whole d*** store while it was under construction!”

(He storms off before I can reply that we need our paychecks from working here, and there is no union.)

Coworker: *whispering to me* “What. The. F***?”

(About six months later, I found out from a woman who knew that customer that he was banished from the local ski mountain for being irritating and rude to their employees, and he was also a trust-funder who hadn’t worked a day in his life. As for the groceries that he found it annoying to buy during our renovation? BERRIES. And, he refuses to buy our strawberries if they’re not on sale. This guy still comes in, and is still an annoying a**hole.)

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She Does Like To (Belgian) Waffle On And On

, , , , , | Right | February 13, 2018

(My family and I are attending breakfast at an extremely fancy restaurant. My grandmother has a tendency to be a pretty difficult customer, but on this particular day, NOTHING seems to be right. After nearly five minutes of arguing with the hostess, we finally are seated. My grandmother then walks around the buffet tables and returns to our spot, empty-handed, with THE MOST disgusted facial expression I have ever seen. The waitress notices.)

Waitress: “Is everything all right, ma’am?”

Grandmother: “No! This is absolutely disgusting!”

Waitress: “I’m very sorry to hear that. May I ask what’s wrong?”

Grandmother: “Well, for one thing, this table is too small!”

Waitress: “I’m sorry. Would you like me see if there is another table availa—”

Grandmother: “No! We’re already seated! But you said there’d be a full omelet station, and Belgian waffles, but I don’t see any of that here!”

Waitress: “Ma’am, this is what we always serve during breakfast hours.”

Grandmother: “But your ad said a full omelet station and Belgian waffles! I WANTED OMELETS AND BELGIAN WAFFLES!”

Waitress: “I’m sorry, but we don’t serve those in our continental breakfast buffet. Perhaps you are referring to our Sunday Brunch Special?”  

Grandmother: “THE AD SAID THERE’D BE OMELETS AND BELGIAN WAFFLES IN YOUR BREAKFAST BUFFET! I DON’T KNOW WHAT KIND OF PLACE YOU’RE RUNNING HERE!”

(The waitress quickly goes over to the hostess stand and brings back a small flyer, which I read. Sure enough, in bold letters, it advertises a Sunday Brunch Special from 9:00 to 11:30 that features the desired items. It’s 8:00 on Wednesday.)

Grandmother: “Well, you have to do something about this! I don’t want any of that!”

Waitress: “I’m sorry, but I am not able to change the menu like that.”

(My grandmother stopped complaining long enough for the poor waitress to get our drink orders, but was soon at it again, varying between loud, disapproving huffs, slopping and picking at her food, and complaining to anyone who would listen, including strangers. It didn’t help when I discovered a crack in my glass. At that point, she got up and walked INTO the kitchen looking for a manager. By the time we were done with our meal, my grandmother was counting out a 5% tip, and the waitress looked like she was about to cry. So, before I left, I found the manager and told her what happened. Apparently, my grandmother had said the waitress was “incredibly rude” and “had no idea what she was doing.” Then, I hugged our waitress and apologized.)

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This Customer Just Takes The Cake

, , , | Right | February 13, 2018

(I work behind the deli and bakery counter inside a larger grocery store. On the day of this incident, it is Sunday, when the department manager and the official cake decorator are not working, leaving me watching the cake counter and writing messages on the premade cakes for anyone who asks. A woman comes up and begins browsing huffily through the cookie cakes.)

Me: “Can I help you?”

Customer: “Maybe. None of these cakes are really what I want. Do you have any more in the back?”

Me: “Not that are decorated. If you have a more specific design in mind, I can see if we have any blank ones.”

Customer: “DO THAT.”

(I proceed to the freezer, slightly mystified, as we really do cover a large number of generic designs in the cookie display. Still, I manage to locate a blank one and bring it out. I have already elected not to tell this woman that I am NOT, in fact, the primary cake decorator, as I am quite confident with my abilities with the writing, icing, and all that goes on a cookie cake.)

Me: “Here we go. Now, what design did you want?”

Customer: “I want this one.”

(She slaps a smartphone down on the counter, showing a clear image of a Confederate flag, which has been recently outlawed. Fortunately, red flags go off. I have seen this on Facebook. I am also stricken with visions of store managers storming over to the deli and demanding to know who would be so stupid as to put an illegal flag on a cake.)

Me: “Ma’am, I’m fairly certain that’s an illegal design.”

Customer: “Yeah, I know. It’s stupid. [Grocery Store down the road] wouldn’t do it, either.”

Me: “Maybe I should check with a manager to be absolutely sure.”

Customer: “DO THAT.”

(I was correct; the design is forbidden by corporate. I come back with my assistant manager.)

Assistant Manager: “Ma’am, I’m not asking my employee to get fired to make one sale. She will be happy to add stars or stripes as a border.”

Customer: “FINE. Here, write, ‘Austin,’ on this.”

(She shoves a generic “Happy Birthday” cookie back over the counter.)

Me: *to myself* “Well, with that attitude…”

(I wrote the name on the cake and excused myself for a break. Not five minutes later, according to my coworkers, the woman returned and demanded that someone else write the name, instead, requiring that the first be scraped off. It looked terrible, but she took it and left, anyway.)

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Strap In For The Bad Customer Ride!

, , , , , | Right | February 12, 2018

(I work at a very popular water park in the heart of Florida. I’m a ride operator for kid rides, and I take safety very seriously, as well as fairness. When we close the park, we have to close the chains to the entrance right at closing time to get the rides closed on time. We have to turn people away all the time to clear the park out. A woman comes up to the gate as I am fastening lap bars.)

Guest: “Party of two.”

Me: “Terribly sorry, folks, but we closed the rides at eight. It is now ten minutes past, and these were the last riders in line.”

(The guest gets red in the face and points to her two children.)

Guest: “Party of two.”

Me: “I heard you, but they won’t be getting on. We are closed. I’m sorry.”

(The lady points to my only empty vehicle at the end.)

Guest: “There! They can sit there! It’s empty!”

(At this point, other guests hear her wanting to ride and gather around to try and line up.)

Me: “No. I cannot let them on! If I let your children on, I have to let everyone’s kids on.”

Guest: “I don’t give a f*** about them! Put my children on, now! You’re being rude!”

(I lock all the exit gates and start the ride. She storms over to my booth. There’s a fence between us, but she’s trying to lean into it.)

Guest: “How dare you?! Call your manager over here, now! Oh, I’m going to get you fired, you b****! You just ruined our whole vacation! You can’t let two small children ride?! How do you sleep at night?!”

Me: *smile at her and shrug* “I sleep just fine, thank you.”

Guest: “Get me your manager, now!”

Me: “I’m running my ride now, so once I finish it and do my closing duties I can call a manager. But we are closed, so they will be hard to reach. You can go to guest services and issue a complaint. But I can tell you that right now I have a camera watching me, and I am 100% safe in my job.”

(The guest’s kids don’t even care, and they ask their mom if they can go see the whales before they leave. The lady screams at her kids to shut up because she’s dealing with “this terribly rude woman,” as she calls me. My last ride ends, I let everyone leave, and I start my closing duties. Meanwhile, the lady’s kids are begging to see the whale exhibit before it’s covered for the night. She refuses to go, and they wait 15 minutes while I try and call a manager. Then, the announcer announces that the park is closed and the exhibits are covered. The kids get mad and begin crying and throwing a fit, and the mother says it’s all my fault. Finally, I get a hold of a manager and they’re on the way! But when I tell the guest my manager is coming to talk to her, she comes up to my face and writes down my name.)

Guest: *with a smug smile* “Okay, [My Name], I’m going to management with this information! You ruined our vacation! You made my children cry, and you were extremely rude! You won’t have a job by tomorrow!”

(She took her kids and stormed off before my manager got there. I told my manager what happened and he sided with me. The next day, I had a negative review at guest services, but they told me the woman was bat-s*** crazy, so they threw her review out once she left.)

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