Change Is Down For The Count

, , , , | Right | October 18, 2017

(A woman comes to the front, followed by another woman and a young boy. They have one item and three carts between them, and the first woman, who has the purchase, is busy with her phone while I ring her up.)

Me: “All right, your change is $78.81.”

(I count out $78 and hand it to her, but she doesn’t notice. Since I need to open a roll of quarters to get the rest of her change and it seems like they’re in a hurry, I put the money on the counter and reach for the coins.)

Customer: “Excuse me.”

Me: “Yes?”

Customer: “Did you just put my money down there instead of handing it to me?”

Me: “Sorry about that. It’s just that you were on your phone, and I needed both hands to get the rest of your change, so—”

Customer: “I don’t like it when people put my money on the counter.”

Me: “I’m sorry about that—”

Customer: “I didn’t put your money down, did I?”

Me: “No, you didn’t. I’m sor—”

Customer: “It’s just rude. It disrespects me.”

Me: “I’m so sorry. You were busy, and I thought you were in a hurry. Here’s the rest of your change.”

Customer: *to the other woman* “It’s just inconsiderate, isn’t it?”

(The other woman agreed and they left, muttering about how inconsiderate and rude I was, all while leaving the three large carts out in everyone’s way and ignoring my cheerful “Have a nice day!”)

Can’t Have Your Free Cake And Eat It

, , , , | Right | October 18, 2017

(I work at bakery that only sells cakes, in different sizes. We offer an individual serving in all of our flavors and run coupons for a free individual cake in the local magazines. On this particular day we are busy and many people are taking advantage of the free cake by bringing in the coupon.)

Customer: “I see all these people are getting a free cake with a coupon. Can you give me one for free, too?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but they brought in the coupon from the magazine ads we run, and I have to have the coupon to give you a free cake.”

Customer: “I buy these cakes all the time. I don’t have a coupon. All these people are getting free ones; why can’t you give one to me?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, they get a free one with the coupon; we run them in all the magazines. You can also sign up with our email listings to receive them; we’re actually running one later this month. But unfortunately, if you don’t have a coupon, I can’t give you a free cake.”

Customer: *starting to pout and get mad* “But I don’t have one. Why can’t you just give me a free one? I’m buying several of them!”

(Since we offer a discounted price for a dozen of the individual cakes I think she’s talking about that price.)

Me: “How many do you plan to purchase today?”

Customer: “Seven.”

Me: “Unfortunately, ma’am, we don’t have a special price for seven cakes.”

Customer: “I don’t understand why you can’t just give me a free one.”

(I go through the rest of the transaction, getting the flavor of the cakes she wants, and I start to gather and bag them as she continues to badger me about giving her a free cake.)

Customer: *angry* “Good customer service would be giving me a free cake!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I don’t have the authority to just give you a free cake.”

Customer: “Well, maybe there is someone here who can!”

Me: “I can get the manager, if you’d like to talk to her?”

(She finally realizes she isn’t going to bully me into giving her free cake for no reason, and pouts like a two-year-old the rest of the time.)

Me: *smiling* “Have a good day!”

Customer: *snatches bags and walks out*

It’s Too Early In The Morning For This

, , , , , | Right | October 17, 2017

(I work for a large energy firm servicing department. Everyone gets this type of call several times a day.)

Me: “Good morning, you’re through to [Company] and [Department]. How can I help?”

Customer: “My fireplace isn’t working.”

(I go over security details and they pass, and we proceed to pull up a calendar for repair appointment.)

Me: “Okay, sir, the earliest available appointment is two days from now between 12:00 and 6:00 pm.”

Customer: “Have you got anything sooner?”

Me: “No, sir, two days is the earliest appointment, 12:00 until 6:00 pm.”

Customer: “Okay, I guess I’ll take the morning, then.”

Me: “Sir, the next appointment is two days from now in the afternoon, or three days from now in the morning. If you prefer a morning, you will have to wait until the third day or I will book you in for the afternoon.”

Customer: “Well, that isn’t very good. Why can’t I get an appointment in the morning for two days time?”

Me: “Because we work on a live system with limited staffing for repairs. If we have a high volume of breakdowns in your area, it is mainly first-come, first-serve.”

Customer: “I pay £35 a month for this agreement. Can’t you cancel someone else’s appointment?”

Me: “In the interest of equality, we do not cancel appointments to book in other customers; that is company policy.”

Customer: “I don’t care; I want an appointment in the morning.”

Me: “Sorry, sir, that is not a possibility, and due to it being a live system, if I do not book you an appointment now it may be gone soon.”

Customer: “Fine! Don’t know why I pay for this service.”

Me: “Because if you didn’t, it could be anything up to $400 or more for each repair and a wait of up to a week or more, sir.”

(We resolve the call and they hang up.)

Coworker: “So, no mornings, then?”

Me: “Don’t get me started!”

Not About To Have An Opening

, , , | Right | October 17, 2017

(Our building used to be located opposite the town library, but separated by a busy two-lane road. We have just moved to a new purpose-built building on the other side of town, when I get a call.)

Me: “Good morning! This is [College]. How can I help?”

Caller: “Yeah, get me the number for the library!”

Me: “Sure, I’ll just put you through to the campus library.”

Caller:No! I don’t want no crappy campus library! I mean the real library opposite you. I want you to go look at the opening times.”

Me: *speechless* “You want me to walk to the other side of town to the main library just to get their opening times?”

Caller: “I don’t see how it’s hard; just look out your window!”

Me: “We have moved buildings to the other side of town, so even if I wanted to, I couldn’t do that. You can either call them or go online to find out that information.”

Caller: “WHAT F****** GOOD ARE YOU?!” *hangs up*

It Was A Long Friday Night

, , , , , | Right | October 17, 2017

(The video game store I work at is in a mall with mostly retail stores, but a couple of snack-type stores and one sit-down style pizza restaurant. It’s about 10:30 am on a Saturday and the store is empty at the moment. A man with a very angry look on his face comes in directly to me.)

Customer: “Is there any place in the mall that sells alcohol?”

Me: “Uh, yeah, I’m pretty sure that [Pizza Place] has a bar, but—”

Customer: “Okay.”

(The man turns and walks hurriedly out of the store in the direction of [Pizza Place].)

Me: *finishing what I was going to say, to myself* “…but they don’t open until noon.”

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