The Law Is A Sticking Point

, , , , , | Working | October 31, 2017

(I am putting out stock that was packed away. The stock was discounted, but now is back to full price. I am peeling off the price stickers.)

Manager: “[My Name], what are you doing?”

Me: “I have to remove the stickers from these.”

Manager: “But it says $7.99; that’s the right price.”

Me: “No, that’s $1.99. It would be good if I could leave it at that.”

Manager: “Oh, yeah, it is. They have to be done; they need to be full price. Just get a pen and change the one to a seven.”

Me: “I can’t do that.”

Manager: “Why not?”

Me: “Ah, because it’s illegal.”

Manager: “Oh, yeah. It is, isn’t it? You better get peeling, then.”

(I sat for the best part of two hours peeling stickers off a few hundred items, only to have to reprice them back down to $1.99 two weeks later.)

Your Nutrition Is In A Vegetative State

, , , , , | Right | October 29, 2017

(I work in a big smoothie shop that is currently promoting fresh juices, so I have to ask every customer if they want to try one.)

Me: “Hi! Welcome to [Smoothie Shop]! Have you tried any of our fresh-squeezed juices?”

Customer: “No, but I’m in the mood for something healthy. What’s the healthiest juice you have?”

Me: “The [Juice] has all-organic juice with a whole serving of [Vegetable Supplement], and you can’t taste the veggies at all.”

(I hand him a sample.)

Customer: “This is really good, but I think I will just get a [Smoothie containing pure chocolate and ice cream].”

One More Round Of Rudeness

, , , , , | Right | October 28, 2017

(I am at my sister’s wedding and the venue has done a really good job. Everyone has had a great time and most of us are pretty drunk. There’s only a few still left at the end of the night, including my siblings, my dad, and me. The staff are just starting to tidy up, as the party has wound down and it’s late. My dad decides to try and get a last round of drinks in before we all go to bed. Unfortunately, he can be more than a little rude when he doesn’t get what he wants.)

Dad: “Hi, can I get three beers, three gin and tonics, and four whiskeys?”

Bar Staff: “I’m sorry, sir; we’ve closed out the register for the night. We can’t sell anymore.”

Dad: “Don’t give me that! We’ve all spent a huge amount of money at this wedding today, and all we’re asking for is one last round.”

Bar Staff: “I understand, but the register is now shut down for the night, the money has been taken out, and the credit card reader has been shut down for the day’s business.”

Me: “It’s okay, bud; we understand.”

Dad: “No! It’s not okay! I’m asking politely—” *he’s not* “—for another round, after we’ve spent all this money today, feeding their wages.”

Me: “Dad, they’ve closed the register for the day, which means they physically can’t sell anymore until they open it again tomorrow. It keeps the day’s takings straight and separates business days. See?”

Dad: “I don’t care about any of that. We’ve spent so much money!”

(This goes round and round a few times. The bar manager gets involved and the whole exchange repeats itself. Eventually my dad decides to stagger off to bed.)

Dad: “I’m going to see that you get a bad review on [Video Website]. Yeah, you’ll get a bad review on [Video Website].”

(I think he meant [Review Website].)

Me: “Sorry about that, guys. Don’t listen to him; he’s pretty drunk. Listen, you guys did a great job. Everybody had a great time and you didn’t miss a beat. So, thank you!”

Bar Manager: “Thanks for saying that. We’re not allowed to sell anymore, so how about a round on the house?”

(It pays to be nice!)

This Client Is Very Labor Intensive

, , , , , , , | Working | October 27, 2017

(My boss is not in the office, as his wife has gone into labor. He has asked us to let any clients know where he is and has put up an out-of-office message for his emails and his voicemail, but he is still receiving many calls from clients. He has included my number in his email, as I am his assistant and can help to direct his calls to another coworker, assist the client, or simply take a message for when he returns. One of his clients has been known to be very demanding and a bit out of touch with reality. This very client is the one who, to no surprise, causes quite the fuss over all this. He calls me and begins demanding to talk to my boss.)

Client: “I have been trying to reach [Boss] all day, but he is not responding. I need him to call me right away.”

Me: “I’m sorry. [Boss] is not in today. His wife is having a baby, so he is currently with her, and will be out for the next two weeks.”

Client: “I don’t care about that! I need him more!”

Me: “I would be happy to help you with any requests. We also have [Other Coworker with whom this client has worked with before] available to help.”

Client: “[Boss] is the only one who understands. I will only talk to him. Go get him for me and tell him I need him.”

Me: “I’m sorry. I can’t do that.”

Client: “I don’t want to have to tell [Boss] how lazy and unhelpful you are.”

Me: “Sir, forgive me for being blunt, but I cannot and will not be getting [Boss] for you, as he is currently in the hospital with his wife, who is currently in labor.”

Client: “Well, he can’t do much there, anyway, can he? She’s doing all the work. I’ll call [Other Coworker]; he’ll get [Boss] for me, I know it.”

(That coworker also refused to get [Boss], and gave the client quite an earful when the client quite literally told him to “go down to the hospital and drag him out by the ear if you have to.”)

Your Demand Can Kick The Bucket

, , , , , | Right | October 27, 2017

(I work at a barn so that I can ride the horses there for free. Today, it’s my job to clean and bleach every bucket in the barn, which can take hours. A lady I don’t know walks up to me and just completely blows my mind about how people treat stable hands.)

Lady: “Hey, you’re doing a great job there! I have six seriously dirty buckets in my truck, and you look like you could use the extra work!”

(I laugh, because I think she’s joking, and continue cleaning. A minute or two passes and the lady comes back with, no joke, six of the grossest buckets I’ve ever seen.)

Lady: “You thought I was kidding! Get to work!”

(She smiled and walked away, so I finished my job and drove home, leaving the random woman’s dirty buckets as a surprise for her when she came back.)

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