Not Being Berry Truthful

, , , , | Right | March 20, 2018

(I am working the dinner rush for a popular roast beef restaurant and have just cleared out the last of the customers without incident. A girl walks in, and I can immediately tell she is upset about something.)

Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Listen. I just came through the drive-thru and you forgot to give me my strawberry shake.”

Me: “Oh, um, we don’t have strawberry shakes.”

Customer:Yes, you do! I just came through, and there was a strawberry shake on my receipt!”

Me: “Actually, that would be impossible, as we don’t even have them on our registers. Can I see your receipt, please?”

Customer: “No! I threw it away! Just give me my d*** strawberry shake!”

Me: “Like I said, it is physically impossible for me to give you a strawberry shake.”

Customer: “I will be calling your district manager! You just don’t want to give me my shake!”

Me: “Do you want to call her at work tomorrow, or for me to get her personal number for you? She will reassure you that we could not have possibly charged you for a strawberry shake, and furthermore, if you would have been polite towards me, I would have been happy to give you a shake, as we value our customers, which you obviously haven’t been in a long time.”

(The customer then stormed out of the store muttering about a strawberry shake and flipped me off as she was getting back into her car.)

Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 10

, , , , , | Right | March 20, 2018

(It’s around the end of my shift when a customer approaches my coworker with his books. I’m not part of the conversation, but I overhear everything.)

Customer: “Discount.”

Coworker: *blinks, but scans books silently*

Customer: “Discount.”

Coworker: “Um…”

Customer: “Discount!”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, I don’t know—”

Customer: “Discount! For buying so many books. I should get a discount.”

(Everyone looks at his purchase. He only has three books.)

Coworker: “Sadly, no.”

Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 8
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 7
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 6

Planning To Organize

, , , , | Right | March 19, 2018

Customer: “Hello. I’m looking for an organiser for my schedule.”

Me: “Okay, I can help you find what you need. Do you have any specific requirements?”

Customer: “It needs to be able to hang on a wall. There should be a full month of dates on one page, and a picture on the page above it. Each day should have a square large enough for me to write all of my appointments. Oh, and there should be one week per row!”

Me: “All right, ma’am. We have many calendar designs that you can choose from. Right this way—”

Customer: *interrupting* “No, no, no! I don’t want a calendar. Those calendar boxes are just so small. How will I fit all of my appointments on each day? I don’t know why anyone uses those. I need an organiser!”

Me: “We do have some quite large calendars, but if they’re not to your liking and you need more space, we have planners that come in many different sizes and designs.”

Customer: “NO! I do not want a planner! I need an organiser! How is my entire family supposed to see our appointments at the same time from a book?! That’s useless! It must hang on the wall!”

Me: “Okay, let me make sure I’m understanding your needs. You need an ‘organiser’ that shows an entire month per page, has very large spaces for each day, but that also can be hung on a wall.”

(Just then my coworker, who hasn’t heard anything, walks by and decides to help.)

Coworker: “We just got some great new calendars in stock! I can show them to you if you’d—”

Customer: “NO NO NO! I do not want a calendar! I need an organiser! What bloody good is a calendar with those tiny boxes?”

Coworker: *taken aback* “Oh, well, we do have some great planners that have very large spaces—”

Customer: “No! I can’t believe this! I thought of all places, in our capitol city, I would be able to find what I’m looking for! I just need an organiser!”

Me: *seeing this is going nowhere* “I’m sorry ma’am; we only have planners and calendars in various sizes. I’d be more than happy to help you pick one out, but if they’re unsuitable, I’m sorry that we couldn’t be of service.”

Customer: *muttering as she walks away* “Unbelievable! They don’t have any organisers!”

Coworker: *still shocked from the interaction* “What exactly did she want, a bulletin board?!”

A Few Fries Short Of A Happy Meal

, , , , | Right | March 19, 2018

(I’m a hostess at a restaurant. It’s been a pretty quiet day until a female customer approaches me.)

Customer: “Hi! I’d like to talk to a manager?”

Me: “Of course. One moment.”

(The manager walks over, as well as her server.)

Customer: “I’d like to make a complaint about my waitress; she gave me too many French fries!”

Manager: “I’m… sorry?”

Customer: “You should be! She should know I’d never be able to eat that many fries! She’s a b****!”

(My manager apologizes and reminds the woman that we have takeout boxes she could have, and that her server doesn’t make the food and has no control over how many fries she got. After it’s all over and the woman leaves, her server comes up to me.)

Server: “I don’t understand customers. She asked for extra fries!”

They’re A Few Nuggets Short Of A Bucket

, , , , , , | Right | March 18, 2018

(It is peak season and during a lunch rush. During peak season, our restaurant has menus and signs all over, and we downsize our menu to help guests order more quickly. A woman and her child approach my register.)

Me: “Welcome, folks. What can I get you guys today?”

Customer: “We have been waiting over 20 minutes to order. This is awful!”

Me: “Sorry for your wait, but if can tell me what you would like, I’ll be happy to help!”

Customer: “I would like chicken nuggets.”

Me: “I’m sorry; we don’t sell chicken nuggets here.”

Customer: “Excuse me? That’s not what the menu says.”

(The customer holds up a menu from another restaurant.)

Me: “That’s not our menu.”

Customer: “Well, do you sell chicken nuggets here?”

Me: “No, but you can go to the place next door, and they can help you.”

(Customers behind her are giving the “come on” look.)

Customer: “I’m not getting out of line; I waited forever to order and my child won’t eat anything but chicken nuggets.” *the child looks about ten* “Can’t you just throw a piece of raw chicken in the fryer?”

Me: “Excuse me? No, I can’t.”

Customer: “You are no f****** help at all; you must hate children! I’m going to report you have make sure you are fired!”

Me: “All right. Just to let you know, my name is [My Name]; have a wonderful day.”

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