Some People Woke Up On The Wrong Side Of Life

, , , , , | Right | September 23, 2018

(It is a very busy dinner rush and this family walks up. No smiles or polite small talk, already rude. I’m hard of hearing, and they start to get upset that I have to repeat questions sometimes. I finish the order and they walk away. Five minutes later the mom returns.)

Customer: “My son wants to change his order!”

(Again, it’s the middle of dinner rush, and she has cut the line that is almost to the door.)

Me: “Okay, ma’am, it’s just going to take me a second because I have to void out part of the transaction and resend it through. It’ll just take a second. Is that all right?”

Customer: “I don’t see what the big deal is! People change their orders all the time.”

Me: “Okay, I just need a moment to—”

Customer: “Can you just ask someone?”

(I flag down my shift lead who just makes a quick change for her to keep the line moving. No muss no fuss. And instead of going back to her family, she decides to get on my case again.)

Customer: “I don’t think that was a big deal or a problem. I think you didn’t know what to do and you have a problem with me.”

Me: “Is there anything else I can do for you today, ma’am?”

(She walks away all huffy.)

Me: “Well, okay… Have a great night, then.”

(Guess there’s no satisfying some people.)

Lost Their Way, And All Sense Of Normalcy, Too

, , , , | Right | September 21, 2018

(It’s a very busy evening in our small hotel restaurant in a rather rural area. An older woman, who appears slightly confused, walks in and comes up to me.)

Me: “Good evening. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Well, I was visiting friends in [Town about 25km away], you see, and I was on my way home when I must have lost my way. I don’t know where I am. I must have taken a wrong turn, and now I don’t know how to get back. Could you help me get home?”

Me: *already dreading that this will take a while* “Okay, so, now you are in [Town]. Where did you want to go to?”

Customer: “I live in [Place I have never heard of] and I know how to get there from [Town her friends live in], but now that I am here, I don’t know where to go. Can you help me?”

(I am thinking, “Well, you clearly don’t know how to get home from there, because otherwise, you wouldn’t be here right now, would you?”)

Me: “I could give you directions to get back where you came from; it’s quite easy to get there, and you will find your way back. Unfortunately, I am unfamiliar with your actual destination, so I can’t tell you how to get there.”

Customer: “Yes, please. Once I am back there, I know how to get home to [Place I have never heard of].”

(I give her the super simple directions; basically, go down the road that the restaurant is on in that direction, and then at the first junction go right, then take the first road on your left which already has signs for the place you want to return to, so just follow them. It’s really not that hard!. She still seems unsure, so I repeat the directions, adding more info like, “You pass by the train station that’s on the right,” and, “On the left and right, there will be loads of trees; just drive straight on through the forest,” thinking that maybe landmarks and such might be helpful for her. She still seems unsure, repeating her, “I know how to get home from [Town her friends live in],” spiel again. After I try rephrasing these very, very simple directions once more:)

Customer: “I am not sure. I am afraid I will get lost again. You know the way, so could you come with me in the car back to [Town her friends live in], and from there, I will be able to get home.”

Me: *dumbfounded* “No, I can’t just leave. I work here, we are pretty busy tonight, and I am in the middle of a shift.”

Customer: “Are you sure? You just have to come with me to [Town where her friends live]; from there on, I’ll manage to get home!”

Me: “Absolutely. I can’t leave. I can’t do more than give you directions, or I can let you use our phone to call a friend who can come here and drive in front of you, leading you back to the place you came from. Or, I can book you into one of our rooms so you can stay the night and drive back in daylight. That’s all I can offer you.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, then, I’ll try to find my way back. Hopefully I don’t get lost. It would have been great if you were able to ride with me. Thanks, anyway.”

(She walked out, leaving me still puzzled that she thought someone wearing an apron and a holster with a large purse around her hips, coming out of the kitchen, holding an empty tray, would have time to just leave a crowded restaurant because surely, I looked like someone with just too much free time on her hands! And anyway, which young woman doesn’t just jump at the opportunity to leave a well-lit place filled with people to get into the car of a total stranger and drive through a rather rural area at night? Surely, that has never been the beginning of something dreadful that ends with a horrible newspaper headline!)

Getting Very Shirty About Those Three Dollars

, , , , | Right | September 21, 2018

(There’s a large sale going on at our store, and extra 40% taken off the lowest marked ticket price on clearance items. I am working at customer service, doing what few returns we have had, when a gentleman walks up to my register.)

Customer: “I just checked out with the cashier over here, and all your clearance is an extra 40% off, but he didn’t take the discount off.”

Me: “Okay, would you like me to double check?”

Customer: “Oh, yes, please; that would be lovely.”

(I go through the 50+ t-shirts he bought, price-checking them one by one to make sure they ring up right and match his receipt. He lets me do this on every item, taking at least five minutes.)

Me: “Well, sir, according to your receipt, and the prices the register pulled up, everything rang up correctly.”

Customer: “Okay, but what’s the total?”

Me: “The total is at the bottom of your receipt. Everything rang up the same, so the total should be correct.”

Customer: “Well, I want you to ring it up again and make sure the totals match up. Now.”

(I decide not to argue and just go ahead and do it; however, his total is about $3 less than on his original receipt, not enough to be a clearance issue. After double-checking everything, once again the process taking several minutes, I see he also bought some candy and cookies at the register.)

Customer: “So, why is the total less now than it was then?”

Me: “Well, when you made the purchase, sir, you also purchased some candy and cookies, causing the $3 difference.”

Customer: “Well, I want my $3 back!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I can’t give you money back for something you purchased and consumed.”

Customer: “You’re just trying to take my money. That’s all these stores are good for. Keep the $3. But I won’t be back again.”

Me: “Have a good day, sir!” *to coworker* “Think that was a promise?”

“She Barks” Isn’t Referring To The Dog

, , , , | Right | September 21, 2018

(I work at a pet store. A customer comes up behind me and roughly taps me on the shoulder while clearing her throat. I turn to see a woman in her 40s, cradling a snarling Chihuahua in her arms. It snaps and lunges at me. Throughout our conversation, this armpit piranha keeps trying to escape its owner’s grip.)

Me: “Hello! How—”

Customer: “She barks.”

Me: “Oh, a talker, eh? Does that happen more when she greets you, when she’s hungry, or when she plays?”

Customer: “She barks!”

Me: “Okay. We have tons of interactive toys to occupy her, and we offer classes for—”

Customer: “Where are your collars? She needs to learn her manners.”

Me: “Training collars are showcased in aisle eight, but they are locked up.”

Customer: “I’m not trying to steal!”

Me: “No, I know. It’s just policy.”

Customer: *eyes me suspiciously* “Fine. Show me.”

(I take her to the aisle with the showcase and we go over the different kinds. Again, I try to find out why her dog is barking and what she has done about it, but she is adamant that she just wants to buy a collar and go home. I warn her that it won’t be an instant fix, but she insists she knows her dog better than I do. She picks one, purchases it, and leaves. Thinking my ordeal is over, I return to my duties. Two hours later, a manager pages me to the register. I arrive to see the same woman, the dog still on her arm. On the register belt is the collar she purchased, the box and directions shredded.)

Me: “Yes?”

Customer: “You sold me s***!”

Manager: “You helped this woman?”

Me: “She wanted a bark collar.”

Customer: “It doesn’t work!”

Me: “It does take a little while for your dog to stop. It’s not an instant fix.”

Customer: “That’s not what you told me! You said this would solve my problems!”

Manager: “[My Name], you know these don’t work right away. Were you thinking of something else?”

Me: “No. I told her they work, but over time. What’s happening when you put it on your dog?”

Customer: “It doesn’t even turn on!”

Manager: “Oh, it’s just defective. That’s easy enough.”

(We exchange her collar for another one and my manager takes her aside to listen to her complaint. When it’s over and she leaves again, my manager looks like he’s about to bang his head on the wall.)

Me: “So… what’s up?”

Manager: “She wanted me to fire you for not telling her she needed to charge the collar.”

Me: “Uh, well, it’s an electric collar and there are no batteries. What did she think it did?”

Manager: “I don’t know. I just don’t know.”

Me: “It’s literally the first sentence in the instructions.” *looks out the all-glass front of the store* “She’s standing out there.”

Manager: “I know. She’s waiting for me to reprimand you. Please just go look pitiful somewhere else.”

Talking Turkey Can Still Get You A Refund

, , , , | Right | September 21, 2018

(It’s the day after Thanksgiving, and to our surprise we see a customer holding what appears to be a huge ball of aluminum foil. She is visibly upset as she approaches our customer service desk.)

Coworker: “Hello, what can I do for you today?”

Customer: *slams the huge ball of aluminum foil on the desk* “You guys sold me a bad turkey!”

(She opens up the ball of aluminum foil to reveal the turkey bones of her last night Thanksgiving meal — ONLY the bones.)

Coworker: “I’m sorry to hear that. What was wrong with it?”

Customer: “I don’t know, but when I finished preparing and cooking it, it didn’t taste good.”

Coworker: *looks down at the bones with confusion and disbelief* “Where’s the turkey?”

Customer: “Are you stupid? It’s right here!” *pointing to the bones*

Coworker: “Yeah, but where’s the meat?”

Customer: “We ate it last night; now, are you going to help me or not?!”

Coworker: “So, let me get this straight. You bought a turkey from us that you prepared yourself, and cooked yourself, and you didn’t like how it tasted, and now you want to return it?”

Customer: “Exactly!”

(In genuine disbelief at how absurd the customer was being, my coworker called a manager to deal with the situation. Unfortunately, because of our “customer is always right ” policy, not only did the customer get a full refund, but she got a brand new turkey, AND the personal phone number of the store chef so that he could talk her through the steps on how to PROPERLY prepare and cook a turkey.)