Planting The Seeds Of Refund Expectations

, , , , | Right | April 4, 2018

(Our garden centre’s return policy for live plants is already generous, and unofficially, we’re encouraged to allow most returns just to avoid customer temper tantrums.)

Customer: “I need to return these shrubs.”

(He gestures to three completely brown, bone dry, entirely dead potted cedars on his cart.)

Cashier: *sigh* “Do you have your receipt?”

Customer: “No. I bought them a little while back. I didn’t expect them to turn out so terrible, so I didn’t keep the receipt.”

Cashier: “All right. If you gave us your information, I can look you up in the system.”

(The cashier finds the record of his purchase.)

Cashier: “Sir, you bought these trees almost two years ago. That’s way outside of our return policy unless there was something wrong with them.”

Customer: “Well, they look pretty wrong to me!”

Cashier: “How long did they last? Did you water and feed them? Did they get enough sun?”

Customer: “Well, I mean, I probably watered them. I don’t know. I put them in the garage after I bought them, and I don’t know what did or didn’t happen after that.”

Cashier: “Did you keep live plants inside your garage for two years without any sun or water?”

Customer: “Yeah. So, can I get a refund?”

(Yes, he did get a refund.)

This Isn’t The Daily Prophet

, , , , | Right | April 3, 2018

(I work in the call center for my movie theater.)

Me: “Hi! Thank you for choosing [Theater]. How may I help you today?”

Caller: “Hi. Your showtimes aren’t showing up in today’s paper. Can you fix this?”

Me: “Um… Sir?”

Caller: “It’s still not saying any showtimes. Did you fix it? Do I have to buy a new newspaper?”

Me: “Um, sir, that’s not how the newspaper works.”

Caller: “Well, that’s stupid. It’s 2018 already; can’t you just fix it?!” *click*

(I’m not sure what he wanted me to do, but I can’t believe that I had to explain a newspaper to an adult.)

An Eggs-cruciating Waste Of Time

, , , , , , | Right | April 1, 2018

(It’s Easter time and all of our Easter-themed chocolate has a buy-two-get-one-free special on, and, as usual, the cheapest item in each group of three is the one that becomes free. This is also clearly explained on the sign, which states the special.)

Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, I just bought this chocolate a second ago, and it costs more than what it should.”

(I look at the receipt to see if the special has been accounted for, which it has, and the cheaper eggs are marked down as they should be.)

Me: “Sir, your receipt clearly states that you have gotten every third egg free. It is part of the special that the cheapest is marked down.”

Customer: “But they way that it has been done is wrong! I demand to have my money back!”

Me: “Sir, the only way you can change the way the sale that has been put through is to refund all of your items and repurchase them in separate transactions. You have over $100 worth of chocolate and you would only be getting around two to four dollars back, so I don’t recommend it.”

(Despite my warning, the man demanded I refund all of his items and resell them in separate transactions. The worst thing is, this happened twice more within the hour. I managed to persuade the third customer that it wasn’t worth it.)

 

Needs To Invent Fly-Paper For Unwanted Customers

, , , , | Right | March 30, 2018

(I am working at the till near the end of the day. An older man with a stern expression comes to the counter, looks at the baked goods display, and shrugs dramatically.)

Me: “What can I get you?”

Customer: “Well, I was going to get a dozen donuts, but there’s a fly in your display.”

(I look and see that a fly is flying around the donuts.)

Me: “Oh, I’m so sorry about that. I’ll have the bakers remake that tray. Is there anything else I can get you?”

Customer: “You shouldn’t be letting flies into this place at all!”

Me: “I’m sorry again, sir. We try to keep the drive-thru windows closed when there aren’t any cars, and the doors are only open when customers walk in, but I guess one or two flies manage to sneak by every once in a while.”

Customer: “Your manager should be making sure flies don’t get in.”

(At this point one of my older coworkers is walking by behind me, and the customer starts yelling at her.)

Customer: “Hey! Are you the manager of this place? You’ve got to keep these g**d*** flies out of here!”

Me: “Sir, she’s not the manager. I can go get the manager for you, but I really don’t know what you expect her to do about it.”

Customer: “I’ve heard of a fly trap you can put in the doors that sucks them up as they come in.”

Me: “A fly sucker?”

Customer: *dead serious* “Yes. This restaurant should invest in one.”

(He shakes his head and wags his finger at me before turning and leaving.)

Coworker: “Let’s add it to the list of things that need to fixed around here.”

Giving Their Two Cents On Your Cent

, , , , , , | Right | March 29, 2018

(I’m a cashier at a very busy grocery store. I ring up this older guy’s items. He also has a young kid with him.)

Me: “Your total is $9.01.”

Customer: “Okay, can you just get rid of the penny, so I don’t have to break a dollar?”

Me: “I don’t have any pennies on me, and if you don’t have a penny I can put in my drawer, then, no, I can’t just ‘get rid of the penny.’”

Customer: “Are you serious? Wow, this is ridiculous. You guys do it for me all the time!”

(This makes me wonder how often he does this.)

Me: “Well, I don’t believe it’s allowed to just change the total.”

Customer: “Can’t you ask?” *rolls eyes*

Me: “Uh, no. I already know the answer. I’m sorry, but are you sure you don’t have any change?”

Customer: *angrily hands me a dollar*

Me: *gives him 99 cents back, with a big smile on my face* “Have a fantastic day, sir!”

(I know it’s just a penny, but come on, dude. Just pay your total and don’t throw a fit.)

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