(Every week during the summer, we have an evening where we open late with all sorts of activities, ending with a huge fireworks display. On these days the phone rings off the hook.)

Me: “Good afternoon, [park name].”

Customer: “Hello, I just wanted to check; is it today you have the fireworks?”

Me: “Yep, that’s today! There are loads going on around the park all afternoon and evening.”

Customer: “That’s great! What time are the fireworks?”

Me: “We’re aiming to set them off around nine o’clock.”

Customer: “That’s ridiculous! Why does everyone have fireworks so late?! I have young children! They’ll be in bed by then! You’re a children’s park; you should have them at about five so my children can see them!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but it’s not dark until about nine.”

Customer: “So?!”

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Customer: “I wanted to know if is it possible for me to disconnect this service from another account?”

Me: *confused* “You’re trying to disconnect your account?”

Customer: “I’m trying to disconnect someone else’s account, because their bills keep coming to my mailbox.”

Me: “You’re trying to cut off someone else’s lights because their bills keep coming to you?”

Customer: “Well… um… I probably shouldn’t do that, should I? I’ll just… take it to their door.” *click*

(A customer walks in with his prepaid cell phone and a phone card, clearly used.)

Me: “Hi! Something I can help you with?”

Customer: “Yeah. I just bought this card, and now my phone isn’t working!”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Can I take a look at it?”

(He hands the phone over. After a few moments, I realize his SIM card is outdated and he’ll have to get a new phone.)

Me: “How long have you had this phone?”

Customer: “Probably about four years. I thought they made them to last longer than this!”

Me: “Well, unfortunately, you’ll need a new SIM card. It’s an easy enough fix, and you’ll keep your minutes and phone number. You just have to give them a call and they’ll send you a new one, free of charge.”

Customer: “How long will that take?”

Me: “Three to five business days.”

Customer: “That’s ridiculous! That b**** who added this card screwed it up! I want a refund!”

Me: “Give me just a minute.”

(I call the phone company and confirm that the minutes that were added went through fine. It is simply the technology of the old SIM is outdated.)

Me: “Sir, the minutes were added without a problem. It’s just a SIM card that’s causing an issue; that’s all.”

Customer: “I can’t believe this! I demand a refund on these minutes, right now! Where’s your manager?”

(I find a manager and explain the situation. She comes over with me.)

Manager: “I heard you were having some issues with your phone. How can I help?”

Customer: “By giving me a d*** refund on these minutes, that’s how!”

Manager: “So you want the minutes refunded.”

Customer: “Yes.”

Manager: “The minutes that are still clearly added to your phone.”

Customer: “…yes.”

Manager: “So the nice woman who helped you out did her job at the time.”

Customer: “Yeah, well, I still want that b**** fired!”

Manager: “That’s not going to happen, sir. In the meantime, please do as this young lady told you to get your phone fixed. That’s the most we can do at this time.”

(He stares us both down for a minute before storming out.)

(At my job, I am well-known to my customers for my politeness and excellent service. I’m also well known for my red and black hair, since it’s a bit different. My manager comes to talk to me. She is laughing a bit.)

Manager: “So we just got a customer complaint about you.”

Me: “Oh, really? I’m a little surprised.”

Manager: “Yeah, me too. You just missed the phone call, actually.”

Me: “Okay… well… what did they say?”

Manager: “She told me you were really rude to her.”

Me: “I was?”

Manager: “I know. I told her you were the nicest one here. I asked her if she was sure it was you and she said ‘Yeah, the girl with the red and black hair!'”

Me: “Okay…? Did they tell you what I said?”

Manager: “She said, ‘Well, she told me to have a nice day and everything… but she didn’t ask me how my day went! I found that incredibly rude!'”

Me: “Wow… really?”

(I am ringing up an older customer—Customer #1—who has always been a bit difficult. I have a line and am trying to get it down as much as possible. The customer forgets her bag, so I put it aside in case she comes back—which she does. By now, I am serving a second customer.)

Customer #1: “Did I leave a bag here?”

Me: “Yeah, I have it right here for you.”

Customer #1: “It’s your fault I left it here!”

Me: “Oh? How is that?”

Customer #1: “You were too busy and didn’t tell me how many bags I had! It’s all your fault! This is horrible customer service! I won’t be back!”

(Fortunately, Customer #2 speaks up in my defense.)

Customer #2: “How exactly is it your fault that she forgot something?”

Me: *sarcastic* “Not sure. It’s obvious she’s never forgotten one before…”