The Sauce Of Their Confusion, Part 3

, , , , , | Right | June 18, 2018

(I’ve worked at this fast food restaurant for almost two years now, and even with a promotion to shift manager and many an odd customer experience, nothing has yet to top this level. Our store is known for having specialty sauce, one that is factory made, and on this particular night shift, on only my second week working there, we’re all out. A young customer comes through drive-thru not too long before closing.)

Me: “Welcome to [Store]. How can I help you?”

Customer: *orders* “And can I get a lot of your sauce with it?”

Me: “I’m very sorry, but we’re actually all out of the sauce right now.”

Customer: “Aww… Well, can’t you just make some more?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Your sauce. Don’t you make it there?”

Me: “No, ma’am, we get it in packets; we don’t make our sauce store-to-store.”

Customer: “But the ingredients are on the packets! Don’t you just get the ingredients and mix it in the back?”

Me: *baffled, looks over to my manager* “We… don’t make the sauce here, right?

Manager: “What?!” *starts laughing* “Of course not!”

Me: *back to the microphone* “Ma’am, please pull forward and we’ll help you up there.”

(She pulled forward, allowing my manager to properly explain to her that, no, we do not, in fact, have a Walter White-style brewing factory of specialty sauce in the back, and the reason the packets have ingredients is to allow the customer to know just what comes in what they’re eating… just like everything else that comes pre-packaged. To this day, I always have a good laugh about this.)

The Sauce Of Their Confusion, Part 2
The Sauce Of Their Confusion

Goldilocks Tries To Shower

, , , | Right | June 17, 2018

(A customer enters lobby and walks up to the counter.)

Me: “How can I help you?”

Customer: “My shower is broken.”

Me: “Broken how, exactly?”

Customer: “The water comes out either too hot or too cold!”

Me: “Okay, you can’t just turn the shower on high and expect it to be perfect.”

Customer: “I am a daily user of a shower; are you calling me stupid?!”

Me: “No, sir.”

(Well, I thought it.)

Customer: “Can you switch my room, then?!”

Me: “No, sir, we are sold out for the night.”

Customer: “Well, if you’re so smart, come prove me wrong, then!”

(We walk to the guy’s room and go into the bathroom.)

Me: *turns shower on max hot, puts hand in after a minute* “This feels okay; I would actually turn it up if I could.”

Customer: *puts hand in* “That is way too hot!”

Me: “Okay.” *turns it down to half* “Is that okay?”

Customer: “No, that’s still too hot!”

Me: *turns it to half cold — about 40°F, I’d say* “Is that okay now?

Customer: “No, now it’s too cold.”

Me: “Okay.” *steps back* “Try to adjust it to your liking, and I’ll see what you mean.”

Customer: *fiddles with the knob* “This is okay here.”

(At this point, the water is barely coming out past the tub spout, maybe 60°F.)

Me: “Sir, that’s cold water. Most people shower with water that has steam coming off of it.”

Customer: “It’s not up to you to say how I shower.”

Me: “I’m not saying it is; all I am saying is I can’t turn down my water heater just so you personally can have a cold shower.”

Customer: “And there aren’t any more rooms you could get me?”

Me: “No, we are booked solid, and you have used everything in the room; I can’t give you another room.”


Me: “That’s just fine. We can read and reply to any review you leave on the site. Good luck.”

This Call History Is Building

, , , , | Right | June 15, 2018

(We have several locations, but because people are out sick or on vacation, some locations don’t have certain “specialists” at the moment, especially the ones that don’t see as many people coming through. Most callers have been understanding about this, and have been fine with speaking to whoever is available. This caller, however…)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. This is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Caller: *clearly irritated* “Is this the [Other Location] branch?!”

(I glance at the screen to see which phone number she called.)

Me: “Uh, no, ma’am. You’ve called [Our Location], but I can get you over to [Other Location].

Caller: *sarcastically* “Oh, can you, really? I have talked to several people and been transferred a dozen times, and I’m still not talking to someone out there!”

(I find this odd, as there are only three operators currently working, and in the last half hour each of us has only taken a couple of other calls. If one of us had heard from this woman more than once, we would have said something to the others. I know I haven’t gotten her, as all my callers to this  point have been men. Not to mention, if she wants the location she says she does, then it seems odd that she’s calling the number to a different branch.)

Me: “I’m very sorry about that, ma’am. I can definitely get you over to someone; what do you need to speak with someone about?”

Caller: “About [issue]!”

Me: “Certainly—”

Caller: “And I want to talk to someone at [Other Location]! I keep getting every other branch but that one!”

Me: “I do apologize. The person who usually handles [issue] at that branch is actually out sick today, but someone else can definitely help you out. If you need to come in and that location is most convenient, we can get someone out there for you.”

Caller: “I want someone who is actually sitting in the [Other Location] building!”

Me: “Ma’am, we only have one person at that location who can handle [issue], and she’s out sick today. But if you’ll give me just one moment, I can get someone on the line who can meet you at [Other Location]—”

Caller: “Oh, so, you’re going to transfer me, too?!”

Me: “Uh, yes, ma’am. I only answer the phones, so I wouldn’t be able to help you with [issue], but I’ll keep you on the line until I can get someone who can help. Bear with me one moment, please.”

(I put her on hold to start a transfer over to the next nearest location to her. One of the “specialists” answers after only a couple of rings and I breathe a sigh of relief.)

Me: “[Specialist], I’m really sorry, but I’ve got a cranky one for you, for [Other Location]. I tried to tell her someone could go out there if she needs, but apparently that isn’t good enough. She wants someone who is actually sitting at [Other Location], but, uh, that obviously can’t happen, and she’s pretty irate about it.”

Specialist: *sighs* “There’s always one, and she’s probably the one who hung up on [Other Specialist] twice already. Put her through.”

Me: “Here she is. Sorry, again.”

(I finish the transfer and shake my head.)

Coworker #1: “Was that a lady calling for [Other Location]? I just had her, and I told her pretty much what you just did. Just… didn’t do it more than once like you had to.”

Coworker #2: “I had her, too.”

Me: “Well, it sounds like she hung up on [Other Specialist] a couple times, probably after finding out that he wasn’t sitting in the building ten miles away. Some people…”

(The specialist messaged me just a bit later that the woman hung up on him, too, after being informed that, no, he was not sitting in the other building but could meet her out there. For some reason, she was apparently under the impression that they couldn’t help her because they weren’t in the building she wanted them to be in right that moment.)

Doing A Disservice To Customer Service

, , , , , | Right | June 15, 2018

(I work in a store in the lawn and garden department. I’m on commission, so regardless of how people act towards me, I still try and be as nice as I can to complete a sale. Some people think just because they are in the store, they can get what they want.)

Me: “What can I do for you today, sir?”

Customer: “Yes, I am interested in this patio set. What kind of deal can you make me?”

Me: “Well, it is on a lower sale than it normally is, so it’s already a great deal.”

Customer: “I need something better than that; I’m here and ready to buy.”

Me: “I do happen to have an extra 10%-off coupon that I’m technically not supposed to use, but I’ll give it to you.”

(Note that my boss is “working” near me and is following the whole conversation.)

Customer: “I need more than that, man; you can do better than that.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but that’s the best I can do, and I’m not even supposed to be giving you that extra coupon.”

Customer: “Where is your manager? I bet he can get us a better deal.”

(My boss steps a few feet over to the customer.)

Boss: “Sir, what can I do for you today?”

Customer: “I’m here and ready to buy. What can you do for me?”

Boss: “[My Name], what did you offer him?”

(I say my offer.)

Boss: “Sounds like that’s my offer, too.”

Customer: “You’re telling me that’s all you’re going to do for me?”

Boss: “Yep.”

Customer: “I’m never shopping here again. You guys don’t know customer service.”

Boss: “Okay, I’ll see you next week, sir.”

(He came in next week and bought it for a higher price and no discounts.)

Headless Cords Don’t Mean No Strings Attached

, , , , , | Right | June 15, 2018

As part of my very extensive job description, I do “additional” tech support on home safety devices; that is, I am not the priority call-taker. I help out as best as I can when needed.

One afternoon, this lady called in through our reception line instead of the help line to get help on her devices. The receptionist tried to get her information to either have someone help her out or call her back. She categorically refused to give a name, completely upset at the question. She now demanded to speak to a supervisor.

Again, the receptionist asked for a name to give to the supervisor, very politely. This time the lady lost it and started berating the receptionist. Being too polite to the customer, and knowing that I’m good at helping people, the receptionist walked over to my desk — halfway to the other end of the building — and put the cordless headset on my head, making a face that plainly said, “This one is yours; nice knowing you.” So, I introduced myself and asked how I might help.

Because it was a cordless headset, I walked back toward reception while talking just to make sure I didn’t lose the connection. After about 20 minutes of information for her products and additional info not related directly to our products — including deducing when her house was built and other features about it — she decided she wanted to talk to my manager, though she was in a good mood and thankful for my details. I “warm” transferred her to my manager after a brief recount of my conversation.

After having a quick chat with the receptionist and a bit of a laugh that the lady did not want to share even a pseudonym, I walked back to my desk. As I proceeded past my manager’s office, I heard her state to the lady, “I’m sure he’d be honoured, but he can’t do that. He’s a married father of three, and pretty loyal to his wife.” I burst out laughing.

It turned out she had a daughter in her 20s looking for a good man, and the lady was so impressed by my information, she thought I’d make a great son-in-law.

Since that night, my wife teases me about having a potential new mother-in-law.

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