A Unique Closet Case

, , , | Right | February 15, 2018

(There is a big wedding that takes the majority of our 56-room base facility. As check-in for wedding party is a success, I receive a phone call.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Hotel]! This is [My Name].”

Guest: “Hey, this room 318. I just checked in, and your closet is way too small. What do you plan on doing about this?”

Me: “May I put you on hold for a second?”

(I put him on hold because I literally do not know what to say. I pick up the phone again.)

Me: “Well, sir, you can use one of our rollaway carts or our employee closet.”

Guest: “Well, how is that going to help me when I am up here?”

Me: “I do not know, sir. Sorry for the inconvenience.”

Guest: *hangs up*

(I tell manager about the event that just occurred.)

Manager: “Well, what did he want us to do? Build a closet real quick?”

They All Jumped Over The Moon

, , , , | Right | February 15, 2018

(I work in a pet store that sells fish, small animals, birds, and reptiles, as well as supplies for the animals. One day I answer a call to our store.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Do you sell cows?”

Me: *long pause* “No, ma’am. We do not sell cows.”

The Key Is To Hang Up

, , | Right | February 14, 2018

(I’m counting my cash drawer at the end of my shift in customer service, the last thing I have to do before we leave for the night. The store closes at ten pm, and the department phone rings at about five minutes ‘til. Note: we don’t get overtime. We have to be out of the building after ten pm, and we have to leave together. If somebody gets held up, everyone waits.)

Me: “[Store] in [Town]. This is [My Name] in [Customer Service]. How can I help you?”

Customer: *sounds like one of our regulars, a bit of a flaky woman in her late 20s* “Yeah, hi, uh… I was in your store earlier today, and I think I left my car keys. Is there any way you can look in the lost and found? Do you guys have a lost-and-found?”

Me: *reaching over, grabbing the lost-and-found box* “Sure, describe them to me.”

Customer: “It’s a [Car Model] key.”

Me: *finds one that matches the key type, with a bunch of cartoon keychains on it* “Does it have several [Animation Company] keychains?”

Customer: “Um, no.”

Me: “Okay.” *keeps digging, finds another pair with that car model* “Um, I’ve got one here with a [High-End Grocery Store] card—”

Customer: “Holy s***, are you serious?!

Me: “Yeah, it’s got a card for [High-End Grocery Store], one for [Drugstore Chain], one that looks like a library card—”

Customer: “Wait, what’s that one for?”

Me: “It says [some vague phrase about reading].”

Customer: “What color is it?”

(I glance at the clock. My drawer isn’t even counted, and it’s 9:57.)

Me: “Brown.”

Customer: “Well, does it say what library?”

Me: “[County].”

Customer: “Okay… What other cards are on it?”

(I tell her each and every card again.)

Customer: “Does it have like a, like, mountain clip on it? A small one?”

Me: “Yes, it’s silver.”

Customer: “All right, those definitely sound like my keys. They’ve got to be my keys.”

Me: “Looks like it!”

(It’s now 9:59.)

Customer: “Could I, like, give you my cell phone number and have you send me a picture? I know it’s late, and you’re probably busy, but…”

Me: “We do close at 10:00.”

Customer: “I know, but… I am a customer and—”

(Somebody knocks on the door, and I put the phone down to let them in. She’s still talking when I pick it back up. I know I’m not going to get her off the phone, and frankly, I want to go home.)

Me: *snaps a quick picture* “All right, what’s the cell number?”

Customer: “Awesome! It’s [number]. Do you want me to, like, text you if it’s them? Will somebody be there tomorrow?”

Me: “I’ll be working in the morning. We open at eight am.”

Customer: “Okay, good. My name is [Customer]. Can you get a picture of it with, like, all the cards spread out, or, like, a really good picture of the key itself? [Car Model] keys are cut different than regular keys—”

Me: “It’s already sending. Like I said, I’ll be here first thing in the morning.”

Customer: “Okay, thank you so much. Bye!” *click*

(I was finally able to get my drawer counted, and thankfully, there were some stragglers in the store, so it wasn’t just me keeping everyone over. I got a text back confirming they were the keys. I told everyone else what happened, and they commended me for my patience, claiming they would have all just told her no and to come back tomorrow. The kicker? She kept us five minutes over closing time, AND had me send her a picture on my phone because it was such an emergency, but when I left the next day at 4:00 in the afternoon, she STILL hadn’t come in for her keys.)

The Gift Card That Keeps On Giving, Part 7

, , , , | Right | February 14, 2018

(I am cashiering at my store, where we have a rewards program for cardholders.)

Me: “Hi there. Find everything all right today?”

Customer: “Yes, thank you!”

(As I scan the first item, she looks confused.)

Customer: “That shirt was supposed to be 50% off.”

(When we scan items into the computer, it will automatically take off any discounts that we are currently offering, and the item is showing up as full price.)

Me: “Okay, let me just go to where it’s hanging and take a look at the signage to confirm that.”

(I realize the sign we have is a little misleading, so I decide to give her 50% off, anyway, and scan the next item, which also appears at full price.)

Customer: “That one is 60% off.”

(My manager is watching and goes to check the sign.)

Me: “Sorry, looks like that one is just going to be full price today.”

Customer: “But the sign says it’s 60% off.”

Manager: “I’m sure the 60% off sign is for the shirts that are hanging directly underneath it, and not the one you have here, which was hanging several feet away.”

Customer: “Oh, okay, I guess. Also, can I use my rewards?”

Me: *glad she’s not making a fuss about the discount* “Sure! Just let me scan in the coupon for you.”

(When I scan it in, an error message pops up and tells me that the rewards code has already been used in a previous online order.)

Me: “Sorry, the computer is telling me you actually already used this reward.”

Customer: “But I didn’t use it. I didn’t buy anything with it.”

Me: “Well, the computer shows that it was used with an online order. Does that ring a bell?”

Customer: “No! I didn’t use it! I never made any online order!”

Manager: *annoyed at this point* “If you want to use the reward, you’re going to have to call our customer service line and dispute with them that you never used the code. There’s no way for us to just take the rewards money off of your purchase because you said you didn’t use it. Our computer tells us that the code was used.”

Customer: *also highly annoyed with us* “Fine. I’ll call them.” *pays for items and leaves, complaining to her friends that she never used the code*

Me: *to manager* “Yeah, the computer was definitely lying to me, and she was telling the truth. Not like she could have possibly forgotten she used the code.”

The Gift Card That Keeps On Giving, Part 6
The Gift Card That Keeps On Giving, Part 5
The Gift Card That Keeps On Giving, Part 4

Their Service Is 0.5 Better Than The Rest

, , , | Right | February 13, 2018

(I am helping a young man and his father find new shoes for school.)

Son: “Do you have these in a size 10?”

Me: “I’ll check.”

(I go to and return from stock room.)

Me: “Sorry, I don’t have a 10. I have the same shoe in a 9.5 or a 10.5, though, and I brought them if you want to try either on.”

Father: “What do you mean you don’t have a 10? What kind of place is this?”

Me: “Sorry, sir. We are currently sold out of that size, but I do have either a half-size bigger or smaller here with me.”

Son: “I’ll try them on.”

Father: “NO! We wanted the size 10! I will not be shopping here for my son’s school shoes again! Do you have another location close by?”

Me: “No. Our closest location is an eight-hour drive away, but you could check at [Competitor] that is also in this mall.”

Father: “They’ll probably have better service than you!”

(They leave and come back about an hour later, the father looking very unhappy.)

Son: “Can I just get those shoes in the 10.5?”

(The competitor has a reputation in our town for having poor-quality customer service.)

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