They’re A Few Nuggets Short Of A Bucket

, , , , , , | Right | March 18, 2018

(It is peak season and during a lunch rush. During peak season, our restaurant has menus and signs all over, and we downsize our menu to help guests order more quickly. A woman and her child approach my register.)

Me: “Welcome, folks. What can I get you guys today?”

Customer: “We have been waiting over 20 minutes to order. This is awful!”

Me: “Sorry for your wait, but if can tell me what you would like, I’ll be happy to help!”

Customer: “I would like chicken nuggets.”

Me: “I’m sorry; we don’t sell chicken nuggets here.”

Customer: “Excuse me? That’s not what the menu says.”

(The customer holds up a menu from another restaurant.)

Me: “That’s not our menu.”

Customer: “Well, do you sell chicken nuggets here?”

Me: “No, but you can go to the place next door, and they can help you.”

(Customers behind her are giving the “come on” look.)

Customer: “I’m not getting out of line; I waited forever to order and my child won’t eat anything but chicken nuggets.” *the child looks about ten* “Can’t you just throw a piece of raw chicken in the fryer?”

Me: “Excuse me? No, I can’t.”

Customer: “You are no f****** help at all; you must hate children! I’m going to report you have make sure you are fired!”

Me: “All right. Just to let you know, my name is [My Name]; have a wonderful day.”

Always Take The Weather With You Somewhere Else

, , , | Right | March 18, 2018

(I work for a major hotel chain in their reservation center.)

Me: “Good evening. This is [My Name] and I will be assisting you with your reservation.”

Caller: “Can you tell me what the weather will be like next week in [City 1000 miles away]?”

Me: “Sir, this the Global Reservation Center for [Hotel]. I suggest you look up the forecast via a weather website.”

Caller: “Can you look it up for me?”

Me: “I can, but you will be on hold for the next few minutes.”

Caller: “Oh. Never mind, then.” *click*

This Encounter Will Always Be In YOUR Permanent Record

, , , , , , | Learning | March 18, 2018

(I work at a middle school office, and parents need to bring in a doctor’s note if their student missed school because of an appointment. One day, a mother walks in with a note.)

Mother: “I’d like to clear my child’s absence. He had a dentist’s appointment.” *makes no move to hand me a note*

Me: “Sure thing! However, to verify your child was at the dentist, we need a—”

Mother: *interrupting* “That’s fine! I know the date! It was January 8th, 2015!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but… Wait. Did you just say, ‘2015’?”

Mother: “YES! What, are you deaf or something?”

Me: “That was four years ago. There’s only three grades in middle school. Your kid doesn’t even attend this school anymore, ma’am.”


Me: “Ma’am, even if your child still attended this school, I could not excuse it, because it’s long after the gradebook closed for the year. You don’t need to worry about his permanent record; that’s only for—”

Mother: “AGH! FORGET IT! YOU’RE JUST BEING UNREASONABLE!” *storms out of the office*

Customers Are Not The Shining Lights Of Your Day

, , , , | Right | March 16, 2018

(I work at a popular store as a stock boy. One weekend in particular, our store is having a huge sale on some special lamps; it is even in the flyer. All weekend, I am constantly stocking the shelves with more and more lamps, as they are just flying off the shelves. Before we even start putting them on display, my manager asks me to cut open a box, plug the lamp in, and display it neatly to show the customers what it looks like when it’s properly modeled at home. Eventually, we run out of lamps and only have one lonely lamp sitting on the shelf, waiting to be bought. I happen to walk past the display on my way to my break and customer approaches me.)

Customer: “Excuse me.”

Me: “Yes? How can I help you?”

Customer: “Can you please open this box—” *points to the lamp in the box* “—so I can see what it looks like?”

Me: “Actually—” *I point to the lamp on display* “—that one right there on display, all plugged in and set up, is pretty much what it looks like.”

Customer: *very rudely and loud* “Yes, I can see that, but I want to see what this lamp looks like!”

Me: “It’s the same lamp, ma’am. It looks exactly the same.”

Customer:I don’t care! I want to see what this lamp looks like!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, it’s just that we’re not allowed to open up our boxes; we can get in a lot of trouble, actually.”

Customer: “That’s bulls***! I refuse to buy something without seeing it first and without knowing what it looks like! I saw it in the flyer and I want it! Open it!

(I leave to get my manager and we come back about two minutes later. My manager begins to tell her that we cannot open boxes because it’s part of policy. After much back-and-forth bickering, my manager finally lets me cut the box open to shut her up.)

Customer: “Was that so hard?!” *inspects it thoroughly* “Okay, I will take it. But do you have any more in the back?”

Me: “No, ma’am, this is our last one.”

Customer: *looking like she’s ready to commit murder, gets even angrier and louder* “I DON’T WANT TO BUY AN OPENED ONE!”

Me: “Ma’am, it’s opened because I opened it for you!”

Customer: “I don’t care! I’m not buying opened merchandise!”

Manager: “We’re awfully sorry, ma’am, but it’s the last one.”

Customer: “Can I at least get a discount? This item is now technically considered ‘used,’ and I refuse to pay full price for ‘used’ items.”

Manager: “Ma’am, we can’t do that.”

Customer: “But you have to! If you’re selling something that’s been opened, you have to sell it for a discounted price! I’m not stupid!”

Manager: “Can’t do that, ma’am; I’m sorry.”

Customer: “I’m leaving! This is the most ridiculous thing I have ever encountered in my life!”

(Then she leaves the store without buying the lamp.)

Nearby Customer: “What a f****** b****!”

No Room For That Behavior

, , , | Right | March 16, 2018

(It is around four am and the phone rings. I pick it up.)

Me: “This is [Hotel]. May I help you?”

Man: *self-important tone* “Yes. I need a room, now.”

Me: “Sorry, but we have no more rooms here, now.”

Man: “Oh.” *expectant pause*

Me: “…”

Man: “…”

Me: “…”

Man: “Hellooooo?!”

Me: “Yes?”

Man: “Well?!”

Me: “Well, what?”

Man: “Aren’t you going to find me another room?! God almighty!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I only have access to our hotel’s data, so I can’t tell if any other hotel has space. You’ll have to call them yourself and ask.”

Man: “This is poor customer service! Any other hotel would be begging to find me another room at another hotel! I wouldn’t want to stay with you b****es, anyway!”

Me: “That’s good to hear, but if you curse at me, I’ll hang up.”

Man: “What did you say, you f****** b****?! Do you know who I am?!”

Me: *hangs up*

(It feels good to hang up on crazy people. I pity anyone who can’t!)

Page 1/9712345...Last
Next »