(I’m a rough-looking guy with a full beard. I’m not really athletic, but quite built and sturdy looking. I was quite troubled when I was a kid and teenager. I fought through it, along with coming out as a young adult, so I ended up with high self-esteem and confidence in later years as a result. I work at a small electronic store outlet. I’m standing at a register when my manager comes over to me. He is helping two clients in the MP3 player section: a woman and a young teenage kid. We’re the only four people in the store at the time.)

Manager: “[My Name], do you know these people?”

Me: *looks over* “No, never seen them before.”

Manager: “Weird. The kid has a question he wants to ask you.”

Me: “There’s something you don’t know about a product?”

Manager: “You misunderstood… He wants to ask you.”

Me: “Me? What?”

Manager: “Yeah, erm… Well, her mother was asking all the right questions and I was making a sale, which was for the kid. The kid was looking at your direction for almost the whole exchange. Out of nowhere he said to his mother that he had a question for you — and only for you — before she could buy the iPod for him.”

Me: “What? Why?”

Manager: “We don’t know. Her mom tried to prod him further, but he’s adamant and only wants to ask you personally.”

Me: “Really?”

Manager: *shrugs* “Can you…?”

Me: “Yeah, sure. No problem.”

(I approach them and the mother is looking at me like a statue, not knowing what her son is cooking up.)

Me: “Hi, you had a question or wanted to talk to me?”

Boy: “Can we speak in private?”

Me: “Huh, it’s not a big store. Maybe we could lower our voices?”

Boy: *looking shy, speaks quietly, barely looking higher than my shoulders* “It’s… I don’t know if I should ask.”

Me: *quickly glancing at his mother, I gather from her I’m allowed to prod further* “Well, you’re lucky, because we’re alone in the store. Even if it’s personal or silly, I promise I won’t make fun of you and I will take your question seriously. Do you want us or your mom to walk to the other side of the store?”

Boy: “No, it’s okay. I want… Well, I…” *sigh* “Do you think if I take a white iPod over a black iPod, it would make me look less manly? Is white for girls?”

(I look at the mother and her gaping mouth matches my surprise. As I gather my thoughts, I figured he has judged me on appearance.)

Me: “Um, I think I get it. Let me tell you something I was told when I was a bit older than you are: ‘If what you wear defines your virility, then you weren’t very manly to begin with.’ If the color of your iPod defines how manly you are, you weren’t very virile to begin with. You could wear a pink dress and still be the manliest thing in the room if you acted like it… That good for you?”

Boy: *popping a smile and giggling* “Okay.”

Mother: *stabbing at the boy’s sides with her finger* “What do we say for the awesome personal advice from a stranger?”

Boy: “Oh, heh. Thanks.”

(I didn’t feel that comfortable finishing the sale with them so I left it to my manager, who sold a white iPod.)

(My husband gets a great promotion but it requires us to move to another state. I begin the process of selling our old home while my husband is looking for a new home. We both know a lot about buying and selling a home and have done so multiple times, so I know where and how to advertise. I have just listed our house for sale on the real estate websites when I get an email from a gentleman.)

Client: “Saw the pics and it looks beautiful.”

(He asks about the school district and the age of the appliances, condition of the roof, etc. Everything looks great.)

Me: “Would you like to schedule a time to come to see it?”

Client: “Yes, I would also like to know if you would be interested in renting it to me.”

Me: “No, I am not a landlord nor do I have any desire to be. The house is for sale only, as clearly stated in the listing.”

Client: “Well, I really need a place I can rent. I am a single father of three girls and we really need a place to live. I can pay about $900 a month. I really want them to stay in this school district.”

Me: “I sympathize with you, but I cannot rent it or I would be homeless. I need the money for the sale of this house to pay off the mortgage and then use the excess as the down payment to get a mortgage on the house I am buying in the state I am moving to.”

Client: “Please, my kids and I really need a nice home.”

Me: “So do my kids. I will not move them into a car so that you can have a nice home.”

(A few days later I get another email from him.)

Client: “I have a relative that can help; would you take payments?”

Me: “I will take one payment. If you want to do multiple ones, call a bank.”

(I blocked his email after that. What is sad and annoying is that he wasn’t the only one contacting me wanting to know if I would rent to them. If I have a house up for sale, it’s obvious that I am trying to sell it, else I would advertise it as a rental.)

(I work in an independently-owned textbook store. We only sell textbooks, and only specific textbooks that professors order through us. A LOT of people have a problem understanding this. It is in between semesters so we have very, very little in stock at the moment. A customer has called to check if a book is in stock.)

Customer: “Do you have this book, [Textbook]? Yes, please let me know if you have it in stock. Yes, it is [Textbook] by [Author].

Me: “Unfortunately, we do not have that in stock right now. Sorry.”

Customer: “Yes. Tell me where I will get this book. I need [Textbook] by [Author], edition number 10, from [year]. Yes, you will tell me where I can get this.”

Me: “Well, I know none of our other stores have it in stock right now. Did you try [Local College’s school store]?

Customer: “This business is closed for two days. Where else can I get this book, [Textbook]? Tell me where else.”

Me: “I’m not sure, sir. Have you tried [Other Big Box Store that sells textbooks]?”

Customer: “Yes. You want to help me because I am a customer, and so, yes you need to tell me where to get this book. Yes, you are ignoring me and you need to help me.”

Me: “Sir, I’m not ignoring you; I just don’t have thi—”

Customer: “I want to speak with your manager.”

Me: “I am the manager, sir.”

Customer: “No. I want to speak to a manager. You are ignoring me. Sometimes you people just ignore your customers, but I need this book and you need to help me because I am a customer and you should want to help me.”

Me: “Um… Did you try [Yet Another Big Box Store]?”

Customer: “Yes. Why are you not helping me?! I am your customer and you need to tell me where this book is.”

(He keeps interrupting me to rant on about how I am ignoring him and how he is my customer and needs this book and I should be helping him. I am obviously getting a bit irritated as, at this point, he is not technically MY customer and I have tried to help him as best I can, even suggesting the bigger stores that are running my company out of business.)

Customer: “Tell me if [College store that apparently is closed] has this for me.”

Me: “I can’t look that up for you, sir. You could try calling their other branch.”

Customer: “Yes, then tell me [Other Branch] has this book. Yes, you will do this.”

Me: “I can’t, sir; I don’t work there. You’d have to call them.”

Customer: “Yes, you need to help me because I am your customer. You need to help me and you are ignoring me. Yes, I need help to find this book!”

(He goes on and on and on like this. He won’t let me speak and when he does he seems to ignore what I just said and continue his rant. This has been about a ten-minute phone call by this point and I am fed up.)

Me: “Okay, thank you for calling. Have a great day!” *click*

(I am a well-known sales associate in a toy shop in a shopping centre. We get one-hour lunch breaks, so I tend to change out of my uniform completely to go for a wander. Today I leave the centre to buy lunch at a large shop directly across the road. While I’m inside browsing in the cold food section, a middle-aged female customer grabs my arm. I’m wearing a bright blue jumper with a happy Christmas cat.)

Customer: “Wait up. Where’s the smoked salmon?”

Me: *turning around so it is 100% apparent I’m not wearing any form of uniform* “Wait, what? Sorry, I don’t work here.”

Customer: *still clutching my arm hard* “You’re a cashier! It won’t take long. I’m in a hurry!”

(I pull my arm away, pinched my jumper with both hands, and wiggle it so the cat on the front is very obvious. Then I say, in a small voice to emulate the cat:)

Me: “She. Doesn’t. Work. Here. Are. You. Mad. Don’t. Touch. Strangerssss.”

(The woman rolled her eyes, called me a lazy c***, and tried to flag an onlooking employee to report me, who was holding back hysterics watching the whole thing.)

(The cell phone company I work for has two call centers, so if a customer calls in repeatedly, they’ll have a high chance of speaking to the same person over and over.)

Me: “Hello! Thank you for calling [Company]! My name is [My Name]! How can I help you today?”

Customer: “You can fix my f****** bill.”

Me: “I’m sorry you’ve got an issue with your bill. I’ll be happy to look it over with you.” *verifies the account and quickly scans the bill while reading the notes* “Well, sir, I see you have $500 in international calls to Jamaica.”

Customer: “F*** that. I want you to adjust the charges so they’re the same rate as my landline carrier or my [Cellular Competitor] phone.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but the rates are correct, as I have it noted here that we told you the per-minute rate before you called Jamaica. We also have them listed on our website.”

Customer: “F***** lies! You will credit me!”

Me: “I cannot do that, sir. We’ve told you the same thing the seven other times you called in today, and each time you escalated, the supervisor has also said the same.”

Customer: “Get me your supervisor!”

Me: “I’d be happy to, but I would like to point out my supervisor is [Supervisor] and I see you spoke to her twice already. I can guarantee you she is not going to change her mind in the space of fifteen minutes.”

Customer: “I don’t give a d***. Get me your supervisor now!”

Me: “Okay, then. Thank you for holding.” *puts the customer on hold and stands to flag my supervisor down, with a giant grin* “Hey, [Supervisor], do you remember [Customer]?”

Supervisor: “Did you tell him I’d say no?!”

Me: “Yep. He still wants to escalate.”

Supervisor: *gets her headset* “Send that idiot through.”

(I found out later the customer was banned from calling in.)