Driving Them To Smoke

, , , , | Right | November 20, 2018

(Prices for all our cigarettes have recently gone up, averaging about eighty cents a carton. Of course we had signs posted for a few weeks before it went into effect. In my gas station, we also have a food area where I am currently scheduled to work. I decide to cut through the front area to get some things quicker.)

Customer: “I need two packs of cigarettes. What are your cheapest brands?”

Me: “It’s [Brand]. I think with the new tax it’s [price].”

Customer: *huffy* “Well, I only have twelve dollars! And I need two packs and some gas!”

Me: “Would you like to pump your gas first, then? If you don’t have enough, maybe you’ve got some quarters hanging around.”

Customer: “No! I need two packs of cigarettes! Your prices are too high! You need to fix this!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but we can’t change the prices.”

Customer: “You have to do something to fix this! I need my smokes!”

(I always thought enough gas to get going was more important than smoking, but apparently not.)

A First Class Sob Story

, , , | Right | November 19, 2018

(I am standing in line to get a seat assignment for a flight from Vienna to New York. A young woman in front of me is called to the agent and immediately starts in on a sob story.)

Woman: “I need to be upgraded to first class. I get air-sick if I don’t have enough room.”

Agent: “I’d be happy to upgrade you. The difference in fare is [price]. I can charge that to a credit card if you’d like.”

Woman: “You don’t understand. I cannot pay that. You need to upgrade me at no charge so I don’t get sick.”

Agent: “I understand that, ma’am, but if you want to be upgraded, you need to pay the fare difference.”

Woman: *starts crying* “But I need to be upgraded.”

(This goes back and forth for a while with the agent calmly responding to her demands as she gets more and more agitated. Finally, she starts yelling at him.)

Woman: “I see you don’t care and you want me to be sick! When I’m sick on the plane, it will be your fault because you didn’t upgrade me.”

(The agent has had enough.)

Agent: “Ma’am, the only way I can upgrade you is if you pay the price difference. I’m happy to do that for you, but otherwise I cannot upgrade you. Unless you want to pay that, I’m going to have to insist that you take the seat I’ve assigned you and stop wasting the time of everyone behind you.”

(She stomps off, still crying, and I am called to the counter. The agent greets me with a huge smile and says:)

Agent: “Sir, it’s your lucky day. I’ve got an exit row seat available with no seat in front of it and extra room with priority boarding. Would you like that seat?”

(I gladly accepted it and looked over to see Little Miss Entitled glaring daggers at me and the agent. Unfortunately, I didn’t see any evidence that she had learned that treating people with respect rather than demanding things with patently phony requests might serve her better.)

You Can’t Kill The Bill

, , , , , | Right | November 19, 2018

(I am working as a cashier. A customer says that they want to pay their bill for their in-store credit card before checking out. I process the payment and then begin their transaction.)

Me: “Okay, your total today is [amount].”

Customer: “No, I should get a discount for paying my credit card bill up front.”

Me: “Ma’am, it doesn’t matter where you pay your bill. You can pay it at any register, online, or even over the phone. I can’t give you a discount on your transaction for paying your credit card bill.”

Customer: “They have done it before! You just don’t know since you’re new.”

Me: “I am kind of new, but in the six months I’ve been working here, I have never heard of this.”

Customer: “You’re just lying to get more money out of me!”

(An assistant manager thankfully was nearby, and I pawned the customer off on her. I still have no idea why she thought she was entitled to a discount for paying her bill up at the front registers.)

Not In Line And Out Of Line, Part 3

, , , , | Right | November 18, 2018

(I’m standing in line to checkout at a local home furnishings store. It’s the holidays, so naturally the line is long even though both registers are going as quickly as they can despite many customers with large, complicated orders and many items needing to be wrapped. I overhear an employee nearby arguing with another customer.)

Customer: “But I need to check out now! That girl over there said she’d be right with me! My husband’s locked himself out of the house!”

Employee: “I understand you’re in a hurry, but I can’t allow you to jump the line. These other customers have been waiting patiently.”

Customer: “But there’s an empty register!”

Employee: “I’m sorry, but that one’s down for the moment. Please go back to the end of the line. They’ll be with you as soon as possible.”

Customer: “Why can’t you just check me out now? I’m in a hurry!”

Employee: “I understand that, but so are many other people. I’m sorry, there’s nothing I can do.”

(Throughout this whole exchange, the employee’s been nothing but polite even though the argument is clearly starting to frazzle her.)

Employee: “Look, I’ll make you a deal. I’ll check you out right now if you go to every single person in the line and explain to them why you’re getting to cut all of them.”

Customer: “I’m not going to do that!”

Employee: “Then please go to the end of the line. My coworkers will be with you as soon as they can.”

Customer: “Fine! You’ve just lost a sale!” *she storms out*

(The kicker was that even though the line was long, it was moving well. In the time she’d spent arguing with the employee, she probably could’ve paid and been out the door!)

Not In Line And Out Of Line, Part 2
Not In Line And Out Of Line

Trumpeting On About His Pages

, , , , , | Right | November 18, 2018

(I am working the desk when an elderly man approaches. He hands me a piece of scratch paper with a website written on it and asks me to go there on my computer. Mind you, he has already had me look up a music festival, and become frustrated when I couldn’t find a map, directions, location, and contact information within the first thirty seconds.)

Me: “Okay, this website sells gifts for musicians. Was that what you wanted?”

Patron: “Yeah, yeah. Give me whatever you’ve got on there.”

Me: “Okay… Well, it’s a very large website. What did you want from it?”

Patron: “I want trumpets. They got any trumpet stuff on there?”

Me: *types “trumpet” into search bar* “Yes, they have trumpets.”

Patron: “Okay, great! Just print off whatever you’ve got.”

Me: “Sir, there are nine pages of trumpet-related merchandise here.”

Patron: “Well, then give me the nine pages!”

Me: “I’m not allowed to print off that much—”

Patron: “Then print off whatever you can and give it to me!”

Me: “Sir, this is an online store. If you want to buy from them, you’ll need to get on a computer and browse their inventory yourself.”

Patron: “I don’t know how to use a computer. Just give me whatever they’ve got.”

Me: “Our library offers free computer classes. I could register you.”

Patron: “I don’t have that kind of time! Just get me the nine pages!”

Me: “Sir, even if I did that, you wouldn’t be able to purchase any of the items. You would have to go online and purchase them from the store.”

Patron: “Well, if you can’t do it, just say so!”

Me: “I can’t do it, sir.”

(He left in a huff.)

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