Tattoo The Word “Gullible” On Their Forehead

, , , , , | Right | January 6, 2018

Customer: *stops me over by the face painting section* “Excuse me, I’m trying to find the stuff you spray on top of the body markers to make it permanent.”

Me: *baffled* “I’m sorry, did you say permanent, like lasts your whole life permanent?”

Customer: “Yeah, I was told there’s a spray that you can put on body markers to make it permanent.”

Me: “Well, ma’am, there’s setting spray which will make face paint last longer that might work on the markers but spray to make it last your whole life doesn’t exist.”

Customer: *getting huffy* “My daughter has a drawing on her arm that she says is ink made permanent with spray. Are you telling me it doesn’t exist?”

Me: “Ma’am… are you sure it’s not a tattoo?”

(She stares at me in shock, then in utter fury before whipping out her phone and starting to dial. She yells into the phone as soon as she gets connected.)

Customer: “Did you get a tattoo?!”

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Kids Are So Insecure These Days

, , , | Right | January 2, 2018

(I’m waiting in an art supply store while my mother gets something from the car. I’m waiting there when a woman in her mid 40s comes up to me. Keep in mind, I’m 14, wearing black sweats and a black hoodie.)

Lady: “Can you watch my items for me while I get my purse from my car?”

Me: “Umm… no.”

Lady: “Why not? You are the security guard, aren’t you?”

Me: “No, miss. I’m 14, actually, and do not work here.”

Lady: *walking away while grumbling* “Kids these days.”

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The Things You Do For A Donation

, , , , | Right | October 23, 2017

(I work at an arts and crafts store. We are doing a fundraiser involving a kids’ after-school program, and I am explaining this to a couple in hopes that they might make a donation.)

Me: “Maybe your kids can join. Who knows? It could be fun for them.”

Woman: “Oh, no thanks; we don’t have kids.”

Man: “Well, we can make some, tonight…”

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In Line And Out Of Line, Part 17

| Right | July 23, 2017

(One extremely busy day, one of our cashiers calls out, leaving me and the manager to operate the registers by ourselves. The lines are incredibly long, and a female customer wants to refund her purchase and buy it again with a coupon. While I’m doing this, the male customer behind her is getting visibly impatient. I notice the other line is long, but each person appears to have only a few items, while the female customer I’m helping has a full cart of stuff.)

Me: “Sir, I’m not sure how long this will take, so it may be faster if you get in the other line.”

Male Customer: *notices how long the line is* “Quicker?! With all those people?! What I don’t understand is why there are only TWO cashiers on a busy day like this!”

Me: I’m sorry, sir, we’re understaffed; one of our cashiers called out. If you’d like to talk to my manager, she’s right over there.”

Male Customer: “Well, you should call somebody else in or something! Having only two cashiers when it’s this busy is ridiculous!”

(The lady I’m helping overhears this and decides to stick up for me.)

Female Customer: “Sir, it’s not her fault that the lines are long. They’re doing all they can and you complaining like this isn’t going to help.”

Customer: “Yeah, well, if you don’t open your mouth, nothing gets done.”

Female Customer: “My mother has colon cancer. If waiting in line is the worst thing to happen to you…”

Male Customer: “I’m just saying, two cashiers on a day like this is completely ridiculous!”

(A younger girl, presumably the daughter of the lady I’m helping, decides to say something, as well.)

Younger Girl: “Dude… shut up!”

(The man goes silent but still is very noticeably angry. When I finally finish the lady’s transaction, the man throws his one item at me, pays as fast as he can, and storms out. There was another lady in line after him.)

Next Lady In Line: “…I’ll try to run him over in the parking lot for you.”


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Should Have Cut Them Off

, , , , | Right | June 6, 2017

(It is my third day working for a popular craft store. I am cutting fabric for this woman.)

Customer: “I used to work at this store. It was many years ago.”

Me: “Oh, that’s cool. I’m new here.”

Customer: “Yeah, I quit after my second day, because they put me on the cutting counter.”

Me: “…”

Customer: “And I didn’t need that in my life.”

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