Unfiltered Story #146828

, , | Unfiltered | April 9, 2019

A woman walks up to my manager as he’s setting up a display, I’m in the next aisle stocking.
Woman: My friend told me I could get something here.
Manager: What is it that you’re looking for?
Woman: Pieces of metal you bang on.
Woman: Little pieces of metal  you bang on and it stamps things.
Manager: (getting confused) I don’t know what you’re trying to say.

I suddenly realize what the woman’s trying to say and go over to save my manager.
Me: You mean a stamping kit for leather and metal?
Woman: Yes! Thats it!

Unfiltered Story #145982

, , | Unfiltered | April 2, 2019

(My brother works at a large craft store which stocks countless adhesives in almost every department.)

Brother: Hi! Are you finding everything OK?
Customer: Oh, maybe you can help me! I’m looking for adhesive tape.
B: OK, do you mean just regular [common brand] tape? We also have duct tape, masking tape, etc.
C: No, it’s none of those. I don’t know what it’s called. But it’s tape with adhesive on it and you use it to stick things together.
B: Well, what things do you want to stick together?
C: I don’t know. I just need adhesive tape that can stick different things together.
B: Um…
C: I know my description isn’t very good, huh?

The Couponator 13: Coupons Of Purchases Past

, , , , , | Right | March 12, 2019

(Recently our registers started printing out coupons and promotions along with the receipts. Once a customer hits a certain dollar amount, they get an extra coupon. We are currently giving a coupon for 50% off a regular-priced item for customers spending over $20. We are in the middle of the expiration dates listed on the coupon, so it is “live” and can be used immediately. However, the fine print specifically states that it cannot be used on a previous purchase. I’ve had several people want to immediately return what they just purchased to and then repurchase with the coupon they just received, but this transaction goes above and beyond. A woman approaches the register with a store bag full of yarn. Seeing all of the signs of a return, I greet her:)

Me: “Are you making a return today?”

Customer: “Yes, I purchased these yesterday and I got a coupon for half off, so I wanted to apply it to my purchase.”

Me: “I’m sorry, those coupons are good for future purchases and cannot be used on previous purchases.”

Customer: “Well, I didn’t have the coupon until I bought the yarn. It printed with the receipt, so I couldn’t have used it with my purchase!”

(I’m thinking, “EXACTLY!” but lately corporate has been very pro-customer and we have basically been told to never say no and to make the customer happy no matter what. So, even though it is against policy, I know that once I ask my manager, I’ll be told to go ahead and break it, return the item, and then apply the coupon. Still, I have to do a token refusal so the customer feels like they are getting their way.)

Me: “Well, let me see your receipt and I’ll ask my manager what we can do.”

Customer: “I actually don’t have my receipt; can’t you just look it up? I bought it yesterday, and my name is [Customer].”

Me: “Ma’am, I have no way of looking up a transaction by a customer’s name; we simply don’t take that information. And I wouldn’t be able to process a return without a receipt and do what you’re asking; all returns without receipt are automatically priced at the lowest price it could have been purchased at in the past 90 days, which would likely be half-off, so you would end up not getting any money back by repurchasing and applying a half-off coupon. It would zero out.”

Customer: “I just don’t understand why you can’t just give me the difference.”

Me: “Ma’am, if you show me your coupon I can show you what the conditions of the coupon are.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t have the coupon with me; it printed with the receipt, so it’s wherever that is!”

Me: “I want to make sure I understand what you’re asking. You want me to return an item you purchased, to apply a coupon you only got because you purchased the item, and you want me to do this without a receipt showing the purchase or the coupon you want me to apply?”

Customer: “Yes! That’s not hard, is it?”

The Couponator 12: The Special Competition
The Couponator 11: Barcode Of Duty
The Couponator 10: Expiration Day

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What A Total Blood Bowl

, , , , | Right | March 12, 2019

(I have just sold a large “fishbowl” vase to a customer, who declined to have it wrapped since it would only fit in one of our largest bags. I check out another customer after she leaves, and right after I finish, she comes back in.)

Customer: “Hi. Um, this just broke as I was bringing it to my car. I promise I didn’t drop it! There was a crack in the side, and I pushed on it and…”

(She holds up the vase, which does indeed seem to have simply cracked in place and fallen to pieces. No evidence of being dropped.)

Customer: “Can I just get a replacement with no cracks?”

(We will pretty much never turn down requests like this, so one of the other cashiers goes to get one. I notice a small smudge on the vase. Looking closer, I realize it’s blood!)

Me: “Ma’am, are you bleeding? Did you get cut on the vase?”

Customer: “Oh, a little; it’s fine.”

Me: “We have bandaids back here. I can get one—“

Customer: “Oh, that’s not necessary; it’s not bad.”

(She says this, but now that I’m aware of the problem I notice that she is bleeding quite profusely onto the counter. I offer several more times to give her a bandaid and begin rummaging around in the cabinet for one, while she continues to insist she doesn’t need one. The other cashier comes back with the replacement, and she takes it and leaves with an airy, “Thank you!”)

Me: “Don’t pick up that vase yet; she bled on it.”

Coworker: “WHAT?”

(She had bled on the counter, which dripped down the front of it onto the floor… and of course all over the broken vase, which we threw out carefully. We had just gotten the old beige counters replaced with new white ones, as well!)

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Getting The Stamp Of Disapproval

, , , | Right | March 11, 2019

(Occasionally, packaging changes for items and, invariably, a customer will have some issue with the packaging being different. A customer approaches me with two rubber stamps. These are sold as wooden blocks with the rubber stamp on the bottom, and an imprint of the stamped image on the top to show what it is. To use the stamp, you apply ink to the rubber stamp and then, well, you stamp it onto whatever. This particular set is the same image, only the manufacturer has recently changed the production, so one stamp has the image in black, and the newer version has the image in pink.)

Customer: “Excuse me. Do you have this stamp in blue?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “I want this stamp for a baby shower and the baby is a boy. I want the stamp in blue.”

Me: “Well, we have several shades of blue ink right here. Are you wanting a dye ink, pigment ink, or alcohol ink?”

Customer: “I just want the stamp in blue.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, we have blue ink right here. I can help you figure out what ink to use if you tell me what kind of paper you’re stamping. Is it plain, cardstock, or is it glossy?”

Customer: “No, you don’t understand. I don’t need any of that. I just want the stamp in blue.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. But the color on the top of the block doesn’t matter. That’s just showing you what the image looks like. The color will be whatever stamping ink you choose.”

(The customer suddenly thrusts both stamps in front of my face, two inches away from my eyes, and says loudly and slowly:)

Customer: “This one is black!” *shaking the black one in front of my face* “This one is pink!” *likewise with the pink* “I want BA-LUUUE!”

Me: *giving up* “No, ma’am, I’m sorry. We don’t have that stamp in blue.”

(The customer then threw the stamps on the shelf and walked away in a huff, muttering under her breath. Pretty sure I heard the word “idiot.” Of course, that could have been coming from me.)

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