(I work in custom framing. People bring their art to us and we help them design a frame, order it, and assemble it. Sometimes they will already have a frame they want to use and just need a mat to border the picture so it fits the frame. If we order it from the warehouse, it looks nicer but takes about a week and a half to come in without adding expedited shipping costs. For a limited selection of mats, we can cut it ourselves within a couple of days, but it’s not as nice. A few days before Christmas, this lady comes in.)

Me: “Hi! How can I help you?”

Customer: “I just need a mat for this. I mixed up the art pieces, so the mats are the wrong size. I don’t need anything fancy. You cut them here, right?”

Me: “Yes, we do! Now, did you need it by a certain time? Because these orders usually take a couple of days.”

Customer: “Well, you see, I’m putting together a frame for an elderly lady who lives in an assisted living home and her niece is coming to visit today so I’d need it as quick as possible. Also, I’m going to a Christmas program at three.”

(It’s almost two at this point.)

Me: “Hmm, well, as I said, it usually takes us a day or two, but let me go ask.”

(The frame shop manager is there, so I ask her about it. She tells me we’re not taking same-day orders because it’s the busiest time of the year and we have a lot of work to do before Christmas. I go back to the lady and tell her we can’t.)

Customer: “You mean you won’t just cut it? It takes, what, five minutes?”

Me: “It takes a lot more than that since it’s fairly technical. I won’t even attempt them because I’m still pretty new.”

Customer: “So, you can’t just take ten minutes and cut it?”

Me: *apologizes and repeats that we can’t take same-day orders*

Customer: *starts crying and says in an accusatory manner* “I guess she just won’t get anything for Christmas!” *leaves*

(Why do they wait until the day of to do this?)

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(It’s December, a week or two before Christmas. I’m walking back toward the office when I see a man coming up an aisle near the restrooms. I pause for a moment to greet him and ask if he needs any help, and he pauses to think.)

Customer: “Actually, yes. This is going to sound really weird, and you’ll probably never hear it again. Your store has the best-smelling public restrooms I’ve ever been in.”

(I pause and blink at him for a minute.)

Me: “Well, thank you! We try to keep them clean!”

(I then proceeded to answer another of his questions and try to help him find an item he was actually looking for. Definitely my favorite interaction of the week.)

(At my store, and many others, cashiers answer the phones and then pass the call on to whoever needs it, or takes care of the customer themselves. I answer a call. The woman is immediately rude and condescending, with thinly disguised contempt for all retail workers in her voice.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]! This is [My Name]; how can I help you today?”

Rude Customer: “Listen. You are going to get an item for me. You are going to put it on hold for me. I was in your store yesterday and one of you—” *I can practically hear her lip curl on this word* “—told me the wrong aisle for this item. So, you are going to go get it. You will put it on hold. You will hold it until Saturday for me. Is this clear?”

(I try to be understanding, because it’s frustrating to not find the one thing you need and made a special trip to the store for, and we have some new workers that are really bad at telling people where items are located.)

Me: “I’m sorry you had this experience. May I have the item number or a description of it so I can find it for you?”

Rude Customer: *sighs heavily, as if I’m supposed to know exactly what she needs without her going through the strenuous effort of telling me a six-digit item number* “Listen carefully. I’m only saying this once. [Number].”

Me: *a lot less sympathetic now* “Okay, the item number is [number]. It’s a [item description]; is this all correct?”

Rude Customer: “Of course it is. I told you the number!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. And just so I can help our new members learn the store, do you remember where they incorrectly said the item was?”

Rude Customer: “No, I will not tell you this. You don’t need to know that. Put my item on hold. I will get it Saturday.”

Me: *in my best customer service voice* “Oh, well, I’m so sorry, ma’am, but we can only hold items for 24 hours. If you want, I can have it held until the end of business tomorrow, which is an extra six hours, or you can do site-to-store shipping, which guarantees your item will be waiting for you whenever you want to pick it up, or you can ship from site to your home.”

Rude Customer: “What?! I want it on Saturday. You will hold it until Saturday!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. That’s against store policy.”

Rude Customer: “Well. I guess I’ll just have to come back on Wednesday, then. You’d better have my item waiting for me!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. May I have your name for the hold?”

Rude Customer: “Why would you ever need that?”

Me: “Ma’am, it’s so we know who the item is for. Otherwise, someone else could purchase it.”

Rude Customer: *another sigh exuding her contempt for my very existence* “Fine. It’s [Rude Customer]. Did you get all this right this time?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. One [item] will be on hold for you until closing tomorrow. Our hours are 9:00 am to 9:00 pm each day. Your item will be next to the registers. Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

Rude Customer: “No.”

(The line goes dead. I go to get her item. It’s a rather distinct thing, and not something we sell a lot of. I ask the department who is near the item if anyone had trouble finding this item yesterday.)

Coworker: “Oh! This lady! She demanded someone walk her from the front of the store back to here and that we point out exactly where the item was. [Coworker #2] did exactly that, and then the lady glared at all of us and left in a huff.”

Me: “D***, okay, then. Some people just want to be mad at the world, I guess.”

(I then put the item on hold and let my manager know what happened. My manager makes a note to ensure that the item gets returned to the floor at the end of business tomorrow.)

Manager: *grinning while writing a note to tomorrow’s closing manager* “Malicious compliance!”

(The lady did not come in to claim her item. I work all day on Saturday, and I’m sure I’ll see her smiling face then. Wish me luck!)

(I recently injured my ankle. Because I can’t walk, I’m stationed at the front with a chair to help greet customers and direct them to different departments.)

Me: “Hi! Welcome to [Store]. Can I help you find anything?”

Customer: “Yeah, I’m looking for buttons.”

Me: “Okay, they’ll be just past our quilting section down this aisle!”

Customer: “Can you show me?”

Me: “I can’t, but I can get someone here to walk you there!”

Customer: “Ugh, stupid millennials are so lazy.”

(The customer’s husband speaks up.)

Husband: “You know, I’m willing to bet those crutches leaning on the chair are hers.” 

(The customer went red and stormed off. I thanked her husband before he followed her.)

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(I have just gone through a breakup, I have not been sleeping well, and I’m just finishing a full shift at work.)

Customer: “Excuse me. Do you have those letters you put on the wall?”

Me: *thinking of vinyl letter stickers since another customer asked about them recently* “Do you mean the kind you stick on the wall? Like with the adhesive—”

Customer: *interrupting* “Yeah, yeah. Those.”

Me: “Unfortunately, we don’t carry those.”

Customer: “Where can I get them?” 

Me: “It’s possible another location has them. We’re much smaller than the others, so we carry fewer products.”

(It just so happens another customer comes up right after, asking about another product our location doesn’t carry, so I tell her the same thing. Meanwhile, the first lady comes back.)

Customer: *to the other customer* “Oh, he’s feeding you the same line!” *to me, with an attitude* “You said you don’t have them? You need to learn your store! I’ll show you!”

(I follow her. I’m annoyed with how she’s speaking to me, but I’d be the first to tell you I don’t know all the products in the store.)

Customer: *pointing down an aisle* “See? You got them right here!”

Me: *looking down the aisle and then at her* “The wood aisle? With our wooden letters?”

Customer: “Yeah!”

Me: “I asked if you wanted the adhesive kind, like the vinyl stickers, and you said yes—”

Customer: *interrupting* “No, you didn’t! You need to learn your store!”

Me: “All right!” *smiling brightly and walking away before I say something I’d regret*

(The customer spent the next few minutes loudly talking to the second customer about how I fed them both the same line, etc.)

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