Won’t Go The Distance For The Sale

| Right | October 12, 2015

Me: “Thank you for calling [Craft Store]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I was trying to order some blackout curtain fabric last night, and the website was acting up and I couldn’t order it. If I come into the store, can you order it for me if you don’t have enough?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Customer: “The problem is that I was trying to order it last night when it was on sale, and the sale ended at midnight, so now it’s full price. Is there any way I can still get it half price?”

Me: “I’m not management, so I can’t tell you for sure, but more than likely if you explain that to one of our managers, they will override the price for you since the website was malfunctioning.”

Customer: “Wonderful. Now, I’m staying in a hotel in [Town]. Can you give me directions? I mean, I’m a local, but [something about a realtor and having to stay in a hotel].”

Me: “I can give you basic directions. From [Town], you just have to take [Highway] until you cross the bridge, then turn right on [Other Highway], go a couple miles north past [Burger Joint] and the bridge, and we’re on the left in [Plaza].”

Customer: “That’s too far!”

Me: “I’m sorry. It’s really not that far from [Town].”

Customer: “Well, let me talk to someone else. Maybe they can give me better directions.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll put you on the phone with [Coworker]. Maybe she can help.” *puts customer on hold and radios coworker* “Can you talk to the woman on line one? I gave her directions, but I guess they weren’t good enough.”

(My coworker takes the call and I hear her give a slightly more detailed explanation of the directions I just gave the woman. Then I hear the phone being not-so-gently hung up.)

Me: “I see that went well?”

Coworker: “Evidently she didn’t like my directions either, because she hung up on me.”

Me: “Well, you gave her the same directions I did, so I guess she was disappointed that talking to someone else didn’t change the location of our store, because she thinks 15 miles is too far.”

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Losing That Holiday Sparkle

| Working | October 3, 2015

(I work the graveyard shift, stocking the shelves of a craft store. My manager opens a box, and a veritable cloud of purple glitter puffs up in his face.)

Manager: “Ugh… tomorrow I’m showing up with a shirt that says, “Yes, I know I have glitter in my beard…””

Me: “So, wait, you’re not a sparkly vampire?”

Manager: *eye starts twitching* “No! Oh, God, no!”

Coworker: “Lies!”

Manager: “You think it’s funny?! Just you wait until Christmas! This is only Halloween glitter!”

(If that’s true, I live in fear, as we had to sweep glitter off the floors to keep them from becoming slippery. That it could be WORSE is terrifying.)

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I Want To Return This Item To The Past

| Working | August 14, 2015

(I am an artist working primarily with fancy art markers that you buy individually. I am looking for a particular color marker I need to finish a project. The first store I visit is sold out so I go to a second store.)

Cashier: *after searching the inventory* “Yeah, sorry. It looks like we’re sold out of that color right now.”

Me: “The last store was out of that color, too. Someone out there must also be doing a marker project and is using a large amount of the exact color I need and they came in and bought all of this color marker in all the art supply stores before me!”

Cashier: “MAYBE IT WAS YOU FROM THE FUTURE!”

Me: *bursts out laughing*

Cashier: *shrugs* “I just thought I’d throw a plot twist in there.”

(I’ve never laughed so hard at not finding what I wanted.)

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Framing Herself

| Right | July 24, 2015

(I work at a local craft store chain and I’m currently up at the register assisting the cashiers with the line of people. My next customer comes up with a basket of frames.)

Me: “Hello, did you find everything alright?”

Customer: “Yes, I did.” *hands me a stack of frames*

(I quickly start scanning the stack and lining them up to place into a bag when the customer stops me.)

Customer: “Hey one second… why aren’t these frames on sale?”

(I look at the frames, and from looking at the ad earlier in my shift, I know that particular type of frame is not on sale.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. That particular frame is not on sale. It’s only the [current frame] style that’s on sale.”

Customer: “No. It IS on sale. There’s a sign back there!”

(Thinking it is a common misreading of the sign on what styles are on sale, I elaborate that only certain frames are on sale.)

Customer: “No, YOU don’t understand. It’s 40% off! There’s a sign! I’ll go back there and look myself AGAIN.”

Me: *knowing exactly how this is going to go* “Yes ma’am. Would you mind showing me the sign?”

(The customer snickers to her companion and mutters how she’s going to prove she’s right, and how I should learn how to do my job. I pay no mind though. I step from behind the register and have the customer lead me to the sign just in case it was put up at the wrong time or so I can explain it.)

Customer: *points to sign in distance* “See? It’s 40% off because that says so!”

Me: “Ma’am, the sign clearly reads [store brand, current two styles on sale] and on the label of the frames over there it clearly says either of those styles on the frame. That frame you’ve got is a [store brand] float frame, and is not on sale.”

(The customer goes silent and walks up back to the register and checks out the rest of her items, no issue. When I finished checking her out I hand her, her receipt and say with a smile:)

Me: “Guess I’m not too shabby at my job.”

Customer: *turns red and storms out of the store without another word*

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Can’t Find Your Cross To Bear

| Right | May 25, 2015

Customer: “Excuse me; can you help me find some cross stickers?”

Me: “Well, our stickers are over here… Let’s see what we have.”

(We look around. We can’t find any cross stickers.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am…”

Customer: “Isn’t it just a shame how Christians are persecuted in the country?”

Me: *not a Christian* “Uh… they’re kind of seasonal? We had lots around Christmas and Easter.”

Customer: “Well, I guess I’ll try again. But we really shouldn’t be persecuted like this, don’t you think?”

Me: “Uh… good luck finding your stickers.”

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