No Coupon, No Receipt, No Clue

, , , , | Right | September 1, 2017

(Our registers print out coupons and promotions along with the receipts. Once a customer hits a certain dollar amount, they get an extra coupon. We are currently giving a coupon for 50% off a regular priced item to customers spending over $20, and we are in the middle of the expiration dates listed on the coupon, so it is “live” and can be used immediately. However, the fine print specifically states that it cannot be used on a previous purchase. I’ve had several people want to immediately return what they just purchased and then repurchase it with the coupon they just received, but this transaction goes above and beyond. I have a woman approach the register with a store bag full of yarn. Seeing all of the signs of a return, I greet her and ask:)

Me: “Are you making a return today?”

Customer: “Yes, I purchased these yesterday and I got a coupon for half off so I wanted to apply it to my purchase.”

Me: “I’m sorry, those coupons are good for future purchases and cannot be used a previous purchases.”

Customer: “Well, I didn’t have the coupon until I bought the yarn. It printed with the receipt, so I couldn’t have used it with my purchase!”

(Now, I’m thinking, “EXACTLY!” but lately, corporate has been very pro-customer and we have basically been told to never say no and to make the customer happy no matter what. So, even though it is against policy, I know that once I ask my manager, I’ll be told to go ahead and break it and return the item, and then apply the coupon. Still, I have to do a token refusal so the customer feels like they are getting their way.)

Me: “Well, let me see your receipt and I’ll ask my manager what we can do.”

Customer: “I actually don’t have my receipt, can’t you just look it up? I bought it yesterday, my name is [Name].”

Me: “Ma’am, I have no way of looking up a transaction by a customer’s name, we simply don’t take that information. And I wouldn’t be able to process a return without a receipt and do what you’re asking, because all returns without a receipt are automatically priced at the lowest price it could have been purchased at in the past 90 days, which would likely be half off, so you would end up not getting any money back by repurchasing and applying a half off coupon. It would zero out.”

Customer: “I just don’t understand why you can’t just give me the difference.”

Me: “Ma’am, if you show me your coupon, I can show you what the conditions of the coupon are.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t have the coupon WITH me, it printed with the receipt so it’s wherever that is!”

Me: “I want to make sure I understand what you’re asking. You want me to return an item you purchased to apply a coupon you only got because you purchased the item, and you want me to do this without a receipt showing the purchase or the coupon you want me to apply?”

Customer: “Yes! That’s not hard, is it?”

Customer Service Makes You Want To Die

, , , , | Right | August 26, 2017

(We offer a lot of unique cards for all occasions. But after the holidays, our supplies are usually pretty low until we get new shipment in. A customer, roughly in her late forties to early fifties, approaches me.)

Customer: “Can you show me where your sympathy cards are?”

Me: “Right this way. They’ll be along this wall.”

Customer: “Are these all you have?”

Me: “Yes, these would be it. We’re still getting shipments in to recover from the holiday season.”

Customer: “People die a lot during the holidays.”

Me: “I’m so sorry to hear that…”

Customer: “No, no. It’s for the best.”

Me: *unsure what to say*

Customer: “I mean, everyone’s going to die. It’s just a matter of time. And it’s better for them. They go to a better place. You’d better brace yourself. Because one day, everyone you know will just start dropping dead.”

Me: *speechless*

Customer: “But it always leaves new openings for new beginnings.”

Me: *scrambling for anything to say in response* “Right. Like how the tarot card for death means the end of something so that something else can take its place.”

Customer: “Exactly. And it will be better. So it’s good that people die.”

(I am called away to ring people up, so I am working the cash register when she is checking out.)

Customer: *as she’s leaving* “Live life! Life is short! Your youth isn’t a guarantee!”

Me: “Have a good day?”

Minus That Customer Would Be A Plus

, , , , | Right | May 31, 2017

(I am helping a customer with their return and have learned to point out sales and coupons used from their original purchase.)

Me: “Ok, so that item had a sale price of [total] plus an additional discount of 20% so you get [amount] back.”

Customer: “Minus.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “It’s a discount, so it’s minus, not plus.”

(Thinking she’s joking around, I counter:)

Me: “Or is could be thought of as you received one discount with the sale PLUS an additional discount with the coupon.”

Customer: “No. It doesn’t work that way. It’s minus. You’re taking money off.”

(At this point I realize she is completely serious and this is the battle she has chosen to fight this day. As my choice of language in no way hindered the actual return and not really caring one way or another I reply:)

Me: “Of course, ma’am. You are correct. Could you please accept the transaction on the pin pad?”

Customer: “It’s MINUS not plus!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Customer: “I can stand here and argue all day!”

Me: “Certainly, ma’am, but I am not arguing with you. I am agreeing with you.”

Customer: “It is NOT plus!”

Me: “Absolutely, ma’am.”

Customer: *gives a big sigh and rolls her eyes* “I hate this store.”

(Now, I don’t know if I ruined her day by wording things in a way that offended her sensibilities, or if I ruined her day because I wouldn’t argue with her about it, but either way, guess who got a complaint?)

You Can’t Get Rid Of Stoners

| USA | Working | May 29, 2017

(I’m cashing out a woman and everything is going normally until I start to give the lady her change. I notice that the dollar that I gave her was written on so instead of saying “one” it says “stoner.”)

Me: *after pointing it out to the lady* “Sorry about that, ma’am. If you want I can get another bill for you.”

Lady: “That’s okay. I’ll take it anyway.”

(Several days later I see her in my line and she pays with dollar bills. I check the money and sure enough one says “stoner.”)

Lady: “It’s back!”

(We both start to laugh.)

Lady: “At least we had our laugh for the day. Have a good one.”

They Are In The Lower Percentile, Part 3

| Ft. Worth, TX, USA | Right | April 26, 2017

(A craft store I frequent is notorious for long lines. This incident finally showed me why.)

Cashier: “Ma’am. The discount was applied. It is 40% off one item at full price.”

Customer: “No! You’re cheating me! You didn’t do it right! I should only pay 50 cents!”

Cashier: “The item was $1.00. 40% off of $1.00 is 40 cents. You would only pay 50 cents if it was a 50% off coupon, which we do not have.”

Customer: “F*** you! You’re just stealing from a hard working mother. And what’s this extra money you’re charging me?”

Cashier: “That’s the sales tax, ma’am. It’s applied to every purchase, wherever you go in Texas.”

Customer: “Tax? I never have to pay tax. And now you’re taking money from me! How am I going to buy milk for my kids?”

Customer #2: “Lady… are you seriously arguing about 13 cents? If it’s that big of a deal, I’ll give it to you. And if you really care about your kids, you wouldn’t waste your money on a bubble wand. You’d buy your kids the milk first.”

Customer: “It’s the principle! I should only pay 50 cents on—”

Customer #2: “No. You are not only a terrible parent, but fail at math. 40% off a dollar is 40 cents. Not a single penny more. 50% is 50 cents off of a buck. Coupons here only go as high as 40%. Quit holding up the line, pay for your item, and get the h*** out of the store. And don’t help your kids with their homework. We don’t need more of you in our lines.”

(The first customer ended up swearing and holding up the line even more, but Customer #2 seemed pretty content after that. He’s probably dealt with customers like her before.)

 

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