Don’t Run Away With Scissors

| OR, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(I am a receptionist in a retail office. We sell a variety of scissors, but have to order most of them. A regular — rather annoying — customer has us order one pair of each type of scissors for her, so she can touch them and decide which pair she wants. They all arrive and she is looking at them.)

Customer: “Well, this is the pair that I wanted! They’re perfect!” *holds up a single pair of scissors, out of several different kinds*

Me: “Awesome!” *beginning to clear away the other products, implying she did not want them*

Customer: *starts smacking the tops of my hands repeatedly* “No! No! No! No! No!”

Me: *I immediately drop the scissors and stare at her in shock* “Um…”

Customer: “OBVIOUSLY, I wanted to look at the rest of them!” *proceeds to examine all the other scissors, then only buy the original pair she liked*

The World’s Oldest Craft

| CA, USA | Language & Words, Rude & Risque

(My mum and I are in a craft store buying supplies for a skirt I am making. We cannot find the hooks and eyes. We ask a worker at the store for help.)

Worker: “How may I help you?”

Mum: “We need to find hookers.”

(She just stares at us.)

Mum: *laughs uncontrollably* “I mean hooks and eyes!”

Won’t Go The Distance For The Sale

| Fort Walton Beach, FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Geography

Me: “Thank you for calling [Craft Store]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I was trying to order some blackout curtain fabric last night, and the website was acting up and I couldn’t order it. If I come into the store, can you order it for me if you don’t have enough?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Customer: “The problem is that I was trying to order it last night when it was on sale, and the sale ended at midnight, so now it’s full price. Is there any way I can still get it half price?”

Me: “I’m not management, so I can’t tell you for sure, but more than likely if you explain that to one of our managers, they will override the price for you since the website was malfunctioning.”

Customer: “Wonderful. Now, I’m staying in a hotel in [Town]. Can you give me directions? I mean, I’m a local, but [something about a realtor and having to stay in a hotel].”

Me: “I can give you basic directions. From [Town], you just have to take [Highway] until you cross the bridge, then turn right on [Other Highway], go a couple miles north past [Burger Joint] and the bridge, and we’re on the left in [Plaza].”

Customer: “That’s too far!”

Me: “I’m sorry. It’s really not that far from [Town].”

Customer: “Well, let me talk to someone else. Maybe they can give me better directions.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll put you on the phone with [Coworker]. Maybe she can help.” *puts customer on hold and radios coworker* “Can you talk to the woman on line one? I gave her directions, but I guess they weren’t good enough.”

(My coworker takes the call and I hear her give a slightly more detailed explanation of the directions I just gave the woman. Then I hear the phone being not-so-gently hung up.)

Me: “I see that went well?”

Coworker: “Evidently she didn’t like my directions either, because she hung up on me.”

Me: “Well, you gave her the same directions I did, so I guess she was disappointed that talking to someone else didn’t change the location of our store, because she thinks 15 miles is too far.”

Framing Herself

| New Orleans, LA, USA | At The Checkout, Money

(I work at a local craft store chain and I’m currently up at the register assisting the cashiers with the line of people. My next customer comes up with a basket of frames.)

Me: “Hello, did you find everything alright?”

Customer: “Yes, I did.” *hands me a stack of frames*

(I quickly start scanning the stack and lining them up to place into a bag when the customer stops me.)

Customer: “Hey one second… why aren’t these frames on sale?”

(I look at the frames, and from looking at the ad earlier in my shift, I know that particular type of frame is not on sale.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. That particular frame is not on sale. It’s only the [current frame] style that’s on sale.”

Customer: “No. It IS on sale. There’s a sign back there!”

(Thinking it is a common misreading of the sign on what styles are on sale, I elaborate that only certain frames are on sale.)

Customer: “No, YOU don’t understand. It’s 40% off! There’s a sign! I’ll go back there and look myself AGAIN.”

Me: *knowing exactly how this is going to go* “Yes ma’am. Would you mind showing me the sign?”

(The customer snickers to her companion and mutters how she’s going to prove she’s right, and how I should learn how to do my job. I pay no mind though. I step from behind the register and have the customer lead me to the sign just in case it was put up at the wrong time or so I can explain it.)

Customer: *points to sign in distance* “See? It’s 40% off because that says so!”

Me: “Ma’am, the sign clearly reads [store brand, current two styles on sale] and on the label of the frames over there it clearly says either of those styles on the frame. That frame you’ve got is a [store brand] float frame, and is not on sale.”

(The customer goes silent and walks up back to the register and checks out the rest of her items, no issue. When I finished checking her out I hand her, her receipt and say with a smile:)

Me: “Guess I’m not too shabby at my job.”

Customer: *turns red and storms out of the store without another word*

Can’t Find Your Cross To Bear

| TX, USA | Holidays, Religion

Customer: “Excuse me; can you help me find some cross stickers?”

Me: “Well, our stickers are over here… Let’s see what we have.”

(We look around. We can’t find any cross stickers.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am…”

Customer: “Isn’t it just a shame how Christians are persecuted in the country?”

Me: *not a Christian* “Uh… they’re kind of seasonal? We had lots around Christmas and Easter.”

Customer: “Well, I guess I’ll try again. But we really shouldn’t be persecuted like this, don’t you think?”

Me: “Uh… good luck finding your stickers.”

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