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Reading Between The Coloring Lines

| Canada | Books & Reading, Crazy Requests, Rude & Risque

(Adult colouring books are a huge deal at my store, with two drive-aisles dedicated to the stuff. I am working the floor when a young man in his mid-twenties comes in with a girl who could be his girlfriend, sister, or friend. He kind of has a frat-boy look about him, and the girl is dressed semi-professionally. They come up to me, the girl with an amused expression and the guy really excited.)

Male Customer: “So, you guys sell adult coloring books, right?”

Me: “Yeah, we do, right over here.”

Male Customer: *just slightly lowers his voice, kind of stage whisper style* “So, you have, like, those [East] Indian type colouring books?”

Female Customer: *starts blushing a bit*

Me: “Oh, yeah, we have Mandala and Paisley themed colouring books. Some kind of look like henna designs, as well.”

Male Customer: “No, I mean, like, the sex book. The Kama Sutra, except for colouring in.”

Female Customer: *starts laughing a bit because she knows how ridiculous that sounds*

Me: “Uh, no, sir, we don’t. We have kids’ crafts in here so we don’t have anything more explicit like that. Maybe try [Bookstore that also sells colouring books as well as having a more “adult” section]?”

Male Customer: “Oh, yeah, sure. No problem. I get it!”

Female Customer: *keeps laughing*

(A bit later, I am on backup for cashiering, as it is busy. The couple come up, and the male customer has five books and a giant set of pencil crayons.)

Me: “Yeah, these adult colouring books are quite popular.”

Male Customer: “Yeah, I love them! It’s great for when I’m smoking pot but also wanting to do something with my hands, you know?”

Me: *trying not to laugh* “Yeah, I bet! They’re super relaxing!”

Female Customer: *laughing but is also getting a bit embarrassed*

(Everything went smoothly and the couple left, the guy super stoked for his colouring books, the girl half hiding her face. The lady behind them came up, and we both looked at each other in amusement. We’re in British Columbia, so pot is definitely a thing here, but never so public as that!)

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Should Have Read More Into It

| CO, USA | Bad Behavior, Popular

(I work at a large, well-known craft store in the framing department. My official title is custom framer, but we occasionally get lost or needy customers at our counter, especially when it’s busy. While I am assisting a few customers at once (pulling frames, fetching ready-made’s from the sales floor, etc), a very aggressive middle-aged woman approaches me.)

Me: *carrying two large frames* “Is there something I can help you with?”

Customer: “Are all of your frames on sale?”

Me: “No, not all of them. The sale sign in front of the frames will say which ones are on sale. Like, for example, this sign—” *points to one of our very bright red sales signs with big bold lettering* “—says that the Memorial collection frames are on sale. The label on the frame—” *points to frame* “—says what collection it belongs to.”

Customer: *snippy tone* “Oh. I see.”

(Believing I had sufficiently helped her, I return to assisting customers back at the frame counter.)

Same Customer: *calling from the aisle* “Excellent customer service by the way!”

Me: *confused* “No problem!”

(Later on, I hear that the same lady went to our store manager and angrily complained that I had made her feel stupid by telling her to read.)

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They Have You At Check-Mate

| AR, USA | At The Checkout, Money, Popular

(This particular customer has come to our store multiple times and this always happens.)

Cashier: “May I please see an ID?”

Customer: “Sure, sure, but my name isn’t on the check. My husband’s name is on it and we have the same address though.”

(She pulls out her ID and hands it to the cashier.)

Cashier: “I’m sorry but unless your name is on the check, I can’t take this form of payment.”

Customer: “That’s ridiculous. I do this all the time. She let me do it before!”

(The customer points at me.)

Me: “No, ma’am, I did not. Our policy is that we cannot accept personal checks unless they have your name, which matches your ID, printed on it.”

Customer: “Come on, just take my check. I swear you’ve taken it before.”

(At this point she looks behind herself at the next customer.)

Customer: “Can you believe this! How ridiculous is this?”

Customer #2: “Don’t look at me. I’m not going to help you try to get these girls fired.”

(After that the customer was just done. She left her cart full of things on the counter and stormed out all angrily.)

Don’t Run Away With Scissors

| OR, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(I am a receptionist in a retail office. We sell a variety of scissors, but have to order most of them. A regular — rather annoying — customer has us order one pair of each type of scissors for her, so she can touch them and decide which pair she wants. They all arrive and she is looking at them.)

Customer: “Well, this is the pair that I wanted! They’re perfect!” *holds up a single pair of scissors, out of several different kinds*

Me: “Awesome!” *beginning to clear away the other products, implying she did not want them*

Customer: *starts smacking the tops of my hands repeatedly* “No! No! No! No! No!”

Me: *I immediately drop the scissors and stare at her in shock* “Um…”

Customer: “OBVIOUSLY, I wanted to look at the rest of them!” *proceeds to examine all the other scissors, then only buy the original pair she liked*

The World’s Oldest Craft

| CA, USA | Language & Words, Rude & Risque

(My mum and I are in a craft store buying supplies for a skirt I am making. We cannot find the hooks and eyes. We ask a worker at the store for help.)

Worker: “How may I help you?”

Mum: “We need to find hookers.”

(She just stares at us.)

Mum: *laughs uncontrollably* “I mean hooks and eyes!”

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