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They Have You At Check-Mate

| AR, USA | At The Checkout, Money, Popular

(This particular customer has come to our store multiple times and this always happens.)

Cashier: “May I please see an ID?”

Customer: “Sure, sure, but my name isn’t on the check. My husband’s name is on it and we have the same address though.”

(She pulls out her ID and hands it to the cashier.)

Cashier: “I’m sorry but unless your name is on the check, I can’t take this form of payment.”

Customer: “That’s ridiculous. I do this all the time. She let me do it before!”

(The customer points at me.)

Me: “No, ma’am, I did not. Our policy is that we cannot accept personal checks unless they have your name, which matches your ID, printed on it.”

Customer: “Come on, just take my check. I swear you’ve taken it before.”

(At this point she looks behind herself at the next customer.)

Customer: “Can you believe this! How ridiculous is this?”

Customer #2: “Don’t look at me. I’m not going to help you try to get these girls fired.”

(After that the customer was just done. She left her cart full of things on the counter and stormed out all angrily.)

Don’t Run Away With Scissors

| OR, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(I am a receptionist in a retail office. We sell a variety of scissors, but have to order most of them. A regular — rather annoying — customer has us order one pair of each type of scissors for her, so she can touch them and decide which pair she wants. They all arrive and she is looking at them.)

Customer: “Well, this is the pair that I wanted! They’re perfect!” *holds up a single pair of scissors, out of several different kinds*

Me: “Awesome!” *beginning to clear away the other products, implying she did not want them*

Customer: *starts smacking the tops of my hands repeatedly* “No! No! No! No! No!”

Me: *I immediately drop the scissors and stare at her in shock* “Um…”

Customer: “OBVIOUSLY, I wanted to look at the rest of them!” *proceeds to examine all the other scissors, then only buy the original pair she liked*

The World’s Oldest Craft

| CA, USA | Language & Words, Rude & Risque

(My mum and I are in a craft store buying supplies for a skirt I am making. We cannot find the hooks and eyes. We ask a worker at the store for help.)

Worker: “How may I help you?”

Mum: “We need to find hookers.”

(She just stares at us.)

Mum: *laughs uncontrollably* “I mean hooks and eyes!”

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