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Crinkle Brain

| USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

(My coworker and I teach art classes at a craft store. We are getting ready for a class when a customer pokes her head in the door and politely asks for help, acknowledging that we are busy. We of course say, “sure!” She is holding a packet of the crinkle stuff that is often used in Easter baskets or gift bags; picture something like confetti, but in long strips instead of little pieces.)

Customer: “Do you know how long each strip is?”

(I don’t know why customers think we have this information memorized. Well, it is in a bag all smushed up, so it’s hard to tell.)

Me: “We can open up the package and look.” *knowing that the package had a sticky closure that would seal right back up in case she didn’t want to buy it*

(I open it up and show her, then seal it again and hand it back to her. While I am doing that, she keeps asking very specific, weird questions that are either simple or impossible to answer, like asking if she can cut the strips smaller and how long that will take. It’s made of paper, so it is fairly self explanatory, I would think… Then she says:)

Customer: “Thanks. But I do need one more thing from you. Show me where I got this from? I don’t remember.”

(Even though it is all the way across the store and we are busy with our class stuff, we agree. My coworker goes to show the lady and comes back fuming.)

Coworker: “That lady was f***** crazy!”

Me: “What did she do?”

Coworker: “The only reason she asked me to show her where that was is so she could get a new package because she didn’t want to buy the one you opened!”

Me: “Seriously?!”

Coworker: “Yeah, and she’s just going to take it home and rip it open anyway!”

(Mind you, I sealed it up almost perfectly to where you could barely tell it had been opened. And it was sealed completely so the item wasn’t in danger of falling out. I can understand if it was a gift or something, but it definitely wasn’t.)

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The Unholy Receipt

| CA, USA | At The Checkout, Money, Religion

(I am standing in line and overhear this exchange between the current customer and the cashier.)

Cashier: “Your total is $6.66.”

(There is an awkward pause as they both kind of look around.)

Cashier: “Do you want to add on a candy bar?”

Customer: “No… I just won’t look at it.”

Cashier: “And just throw the receipt away?”

Customer: “Yep!”

Cashier: “Just don’t throw it away in here!”

Customer: “No, I will throw it away outside!”

(The transaction finishes with a couple of laughs and smiles and the customer walks out the door with her purchase.)

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Reading Between The Coloring Lines

| Canada | Books & Reading, Crazy Requests, Rude & Risque

(Adult colouring books are a huge deal at my store, with two drive-aisles dedicated to the stuff. I am working the floor when a young man in his mid-twenties comes in with a girl who could be his girlfriend, sister, or friend. He kind of has a frat-boy look about him, and the girl is dressed semi-professionally. They come up to me, the girl with an amused expression and the guy really excited.)

Male Customer: “So, you guys sell adult coloring books, right?”

Me: “Yeah, we do, right over here.”

Male Customer: *just slightly lowers his voice, kind of stage whisper style* “So, you have, like, those [East] Indian type colouring books?”

Female Customer: *starts blushing a bit*

Me: “Oh, yeah, we have Mandala and Paisley themed colouring books. Some kind of look like henna designs, as well.”

Male Customer: “No, I mean, like, the sex book. The Kama Sutra, except for colouring in.”

Female Customer: *starts laughing a bit because she knows how ridiculous that sounds*

Me: “Uh, no, sir, we don’t. We have kids’ crafts in here so we don’t have anything more explicit like that. Maybe try [Bookstore that also sells colouring books as well as having a more “adult” section]?”

Male Customer: “Oh, yeah, sure. No problem. I get it!”

Female Customer: *keeps laughing*

(A bit later, I am on backup for cashiering, as it is busy. The couple come up, and the male customer has five books and a giant set of pencil crayons.)

Me: “Yeah, these adult colouring books are quite popular.”

Male Customer: “Yeah, I love them! It’s great for when I’m smoking pot but also wanting to do something with my hands, you know?”

Me: *trying not to laugh* “Yeah, I bet! They’re super relaxing!”

Female Customer: *laughing but is also getting a bit embarrassed*

(Everything went smoothly and the couple left, the guy super stoked for his colouring books, the girl half hiding her face. The lady behind them came up, and we both looked at each other in amusement. We’re in British Columbia, so pot is definitely a thing here, but never so public as that!)

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Should Have Read More Into It

| CO, USA | Bad Behavior, Popular

(I work at a large, well-known craft store in the framing department. My official title is custom framer, but we occasionally get lost or needy customers at our counter, especially when it’s busy. While I am assisting a few customers at once (pulling frames, fetching ready-made’s from the sales floor, etc), a very aggressive middle-aged woman approaches me.)

Me: *carrying two large frames* “Is there something I can help you with?”

Customer: “Are all of your frames on sale?”

Me: “No, not all of them. The sale sign in front of the frames will say which ones are on sale. Like, for example, this sign—” *points to one of our very bright red sales signs with big bold lettering* “—says that the Memorial collection frames are on sale. The label on the frame—” *points to frame* “—says what collection it belongs to.”

Customer: *snippy tone* “Oh. I see.”

(Believing I had sufficiently helped her, I return to assisting customers back at the frame counter.)

Same Customer: *calling from the aisle* “Excellent customer service by the way!”

Me: *confused* “No problem!”

(Later on, I hear that the same lady went to our store manager and angrily complained that I had made her feel stupid by telling her to read.)

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They Have You At Check-Mate

| AR, USA | At The Checkout, Money, Popular

(This particular customer has come to our store multiple times and this always happens.)

Cashier: “May I please see an ID?”

Customer: “Sure, sure, but my name isn’t on the check. My husband’s name is on it and we have the same address though.”

(She pulls out her ID and hands it to the cashier.)

Cashier: “I’m sorry but unless your name is on the check, I can’t take this form of payment.”

Customer: “That’s ridiculous. I do this all the time. She let me do it before!”

(The customer points at me.)

Me: “No, ma’am, I did not. Our policy is that we cannot accept personal checks unless they have your name, which matches your ID, printed on it.”

Customer: “Come on, just take my check. I swear you’ve taken it before.”

(At this point she looks behind herself at the next customer.)

Customer: “Can you believe this! How ridiculous is this?”

Customer #2: “Don’t look at me. I’m not going to help you try to get these girls fired.”

(After that the customer was just done. She left her cart full of things on the counter and stormed out all angrily.)

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