Don’t Use Shayne Ward’s Breathless Either

| Learning | March 16, 2016

(Some of my coworkers and I are taking a CPR class to get certified for work. We’re at the part where we’re learning to do chest compressions.)

Instructor: “Now, it’s important that you keep a good, steady beat with the compressions. A way you can remember how fast to go is if you follow the beat of the song Stayin’ Alive by the Bee Gees.”

(We all laugh.)

Me: “Well, that’s appropriate, because that’s what you’re trying to do: keep them alive.”

Instructor: “Yeah! Although, someone once told me that it also worked with Another One Bites the Dust. That’s not appropriate!”

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Compress To Impress

| Learning | March 9, 2014

(I’m practicing chest compressions on a dummy. When you do them right, the dummy is supposed to make a click.)

Me: *does chest compression*

(No click.)

Instructor: “You have to do them more firmly! Harder!”

(I try, but no click.)

Instructor: “In real life a few broken ribs don’t matter; this is a life you’re trying to save! Now, do it harder. Don’t be afraid!”

(I use all my might, and the dummy’s head flies off.)

Instructor: “Not that hard!”

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