(While cleaning a yogurt machine before opening, I hear the landing noise of the TARDIS. I’m a huge ‘Doctor Who’ fan.)
Me: “NO WAY!”
(I run to the front of the store and see no TARDIS. I walk back to the office and find my coworker.)
Coworker: *chuckling* “You didn’t think that was real, did you?”
Me: “For a minute there, yes I did!”
(My boyfriend and I are regulars at this restaurant, and as such, our orders are fairly well known.)
Me: “I want a Number 1, with cheese, only ketchup and mayo, medium, with a pineapple smoothie.”
Cashier: “Okay, that’s a Number 1, with cheese, only ketchup and mayo, medium, with a pineapple smoothie. I should have this memorized by now!”
Me: “If we keep coming in here every weekend, you will!”
(While my boyfriend places his order, I go sit down and wait for our food.)
Cashier: *to the grillworker* “This sandwich is supposed to be only ketchup and mayo.”
Grillworker: “Okay, gotcha.”
(A few minutes later, I hear the cashier talking to the grillworker again.)
Cashier: “This isn’t what I asked for. Only ketchup, only mayo, cheese. This is that sandwich, without lettuce.”
Grillworker: “Right, that sandwich, without lettuce.”
Cashier: “No. Only ketchup, only mayo, with cheese.”
Grillworker: “Okay, I’ll fix it.”
(This goes on for awhile. Eventually, our order comes up, and my sandwich is correctly labeled. What did I find when I opened it? No lettuce, no mayo, ketchup, mustard, and pickles. I show it to the cashier.)
Cashier: “Why is it that they stick me with the idiots on Sundays?”
Me: “Your employer does that to you, too?”
(I’m at a job retreat, and am having an interesting conversation with my coworkers. Note: I am an out lesbian.)
Coworker #1: “You know, I didn’t think I’d like the movie Tangled, but I did like it. It was cute.”
Me: *laughs* Oh, man. My girlfriend is totally like Rapunzel. The blonde hair, the bubbly personality, the singing. She’s totally her Disney princess.”
(By this point, everyone seems to get that I’m gay except one coworker.)
Coworker #2: “So, is your boyfriend like the Flynn Rider guy?”
Me: “N… no. I said my girlfriend.”
Coworker #2: *blank stare*
Me: “You know… girlfriend.”
Coworker #2: *blank stare*
Me: “…I’m gay, dude.”
Coworker #1: “I think everyone got that.”
Me: “Not everyone, apparently!”
(It’s the end of my shift and my co-worker, Co-worker #1, is going to be by herself for the next two hours. This co-worker is a day shift worker, and is infamous for leaving the store in a terrible state for the night staff.)
Co-worker #1: “Oh man, it’s going to get so lonely now and boring. What am I going to do for two hours?”
Me: “You can do plenty of things. Clean and fill the drink fridge, clean the oven and proofer, wash the dishes, do some prep, fill the sauce bottles, and sweep the floor.”
Co-worker #1: “Yeah, but I hate doing that.”
Me: “Well, I guess, but it is your job, so you should probably do it. Anyway, I’m off. Catch ya’ later.”
(Two hours later, I get a text message from my other co-worker, Co-worker #2, who has just come in to work the shift after Co-worker #1.)
Co-worker #2:” Dude! [Co-worker #1] left the store in a s*** state. There were heaps of dishes, nothing was filled up, the floor was dirty and there’s no prep done at all.”
Me: “Seriously? How many customers did she serve?”
Co-worker #2: “Between 2pm – 3pm, five customers, and between 3pm – 4pm, three customers.”
(That’s an extremely quiet day for us. I decide to text Co-worker #1.)
Me: “Hey, [Co-worker #1], [Co-worker 2] has just told me you left the store a pig sty for her. Is this true?”
Co-worker #1: “Oh, yeah, so sorry. I was by myself, but it got really busy and I just didn’t know what to do.”
Me: “You served eight customers in two hours. Wow, you really got hammered. And you clearly had no idea what to do after I just told you as I was leaving. And even if you didn’t remember, you didn’t even bother to ask me or anyone else. You probably should know anyway, considering you’ve already been working here for two years. At least if you’re going to make up an excuse, make it believable and original.”
(I received no reply from her, and the following Tuesday, she quit.)
(I’ve just ordered a small salad and some fries. I get the salad almost immediately, but the fries take longer. It’s been nearly a half hour when I finally ask about my fries.)
Me: “Excuse me, I ordered a side of fries about thirty minutes ago. Is it going to take much longer?”
Cashier: “It might. I don’t know. I don’t do fries. I’ll ask my coworker.”
(They go over to talk to their coworker at the fryer.)
Cashier: “Alright, he said it should only take a few more minutes. Probably got lost in the system because of your salad, haha.”
Me: “Thanks so much!”
(Another ten minutes pass. Several orders are put out, most of them with fries on the side. I start to get annoyed, and the cashier sees this.)
Cashier: “Hold on, I’ll take care of it…”
(She goes over to her co-worker and asks where my fries are, again.)
Fry Guy: “Stop f*****g asking me! I’ll get them when I f*****g get them!”
Cashier: “If you don’t stop speaking like that I will have [Boss] have a stern talk with you.”
Fry Guy: “Yeah, right, I’ve been here way longer than you. Plus that fat-a** b***h doesn’t need more fat and grease.”
(At this moment, I turn and see a large man with “Manager” written on his name tag. He’s been listening and finally speaks up.)
Manager: *to the fry guy* “No, you have not been here that long, and this young lady is not fat. You’re fired.”
Fry Guy: “Aw come on, I’ve been here longer than [cashier] has been! Gimmie another chance!”
Manager: “No, you’ve done this five times in the last week already! I want your whites on my desk by two o’clock, no later.”
Fry Guy: *mutters curses and stomps to the back*
Cashier: “Here, I’ll take your entire order off. It’s on us.”
(All that trouble over two handfuls of fries!)
