(We are invited to a family party by my in-laws. As usual, they only remember to call on the day of the party. I work most weekend nights and am not able to attend as I have to give more than two weeks notice. I mention to a coworker that I am missing out on a party and that I wish it could have been held the next weekend when I have the Saturday night off.)

Coworker #1: “You should do what I do; you should have just called in sick and gone to the party.”

(I go to work the following Sunday. I notice that I am working with a different staff member.)

Me: “Oh, is [Coworker] sick?”

Coworker #2: “You didn’t hear what happened?”

Me: “No, is she all right?”

Coworker #2: “She got fired last night. The idiot called in sick so she could attend her boyfriend’s staff Christmas party.”

Me: “Um… Doesn’t her boyfriend work here as security?”

Coworker #2: *nods yes* “And the party was held here, and our management was invited, too.”

(I’m working for a privately-owned restaurant. My manager has developed a bad habit of forgetting to bring in my paychecks. It has even resulted in me being late on rent on multiple occasions, because I couldn’t get the money in time. My morale has dropped considerably to the point where my coworkers have noticed. I have been trying to find another job, but I’ve had no such luck.)

Coworker: *as I’m clocking in* “I had a talk with [Manager] earlier today.”

Me: “Huh? About what?”

Coworker: “I told him that because he’s been late with your checks, you’ve been looking for other jobs.”

Me: “You did what?!“

(While I have been looking for another job, I haven’t told anyone at work about it.)

Coworker: “Yeah, he wants to talk to you.”

Manager: “[My Name], can you come to my office?”

(That was the day I learned that I had job security. My manager was so worried about losing me, I never had a late paycheck again. I eventually had to quit when I moved out of state, but my now-former coworker and I still regularly keep in touch. I even came back up for his wedding.)

(I read a story about Japan on this site and I remember a story a coworker once told me.)

Coworker: “I was in Japan for a business trip and we went to a cafe of some sort. It was quite noisy, and I thought one of the Japanese businessmen asked me what I thought about Japanese cows. I thought it was weird, but since I was just served steak, I just went with it. I told them I thought their cows were nice and firm, having good meat on them. As a response, the businessmen started laughing. It turns out they asked what I thought about Japanese girls.”

(My coworker is trying to help a customer get a loan payoff for his late father’s car so he can sell it as executor, for which he has all the proper documentation. All I can hear is my coworker’s side of the conversation.)

Coworker: “Yes, I’m trying to get a payoff for a mutual customer who recently passed away… No, unfortunately, I can’t put him on the phone. I have his son here as executor, who can authorize anything you need and provide any documentation you require… Again, unfortunately, that’s not possible.”

Customer: “What’s wrong?”

Coworker: “They want to speak with your father.”

(I worked in a mall throughout high school. After I went to college I was hired back for the following summer. Another employee I used to work with the previous year came back as well and started again a week before I did. Since most of the rest of the staff are high school kids, the two of us are the only ones working weekday mornings — high schools don’t get out for another month.)

Coworker #1: “You’ll like most of the new kids working here. They are all pretty cool, except for this one guy, who is a complete moron. I’m pretty sure he is stealing from the store, as well.”

(As if on cue, this particular new coworker walks in.)

Coworker #1: “[Coworker #2], what are you doing here? Don’t you have school?”

Coworker #2: “School is for p***ies; I don’t need school.”

(I stand there kind of in shock while he demands my coworker give him a free sandwich, before eventually leaving as my coworker declines. Before I have a chance to work a shift with this kid, he is fired for trying to walk out with an entire case of energy drinks while the owner is in the store. We think this will be the end of having to deal with him, but he is immediately hired at a hat store directly across from ours. He regularly comes in, trying to get people to give him free food. After about two weeks of him working at the other store, their manager comes in to chat with us.)

Hat Store Manager: “Hey, guys. I have a question about [Coworker #2]. He used to work here, right?”

Me: “Yeah, the owner fired him for stealing a few weeks ago.”

Hat Store Manager: “That’s what I figured. He told me he quit because you didn’t give him enough hours, but our entire inventory has been off since he started. Guess I should have checked over here before I hired him.”

(It turns out that in the short time he had been at the hat store, he had taken home a few dozen hats. His classmates told us he was trying to sell them at school, but no one would buy them because of how obvious it was they were stolen.)