Banishing Bellatrix

, | Working | June 18, 2012

(My parents own a small bookstore. Being all fair-skinned redheads, it was only logical on Halloween that my three older brothers and I dress as the Weasleys from Harry Potter. Two other coworkers get into the spirit and dress as Harry and Draco. The newest coworker is a girl who isn’t really working out. She’s dressed in an overly-revealing princess costume, so we’ve asked her to change, which she complains about.)

Me: *to customer* “Thank you! Happy Halloween and come again!”

Regular Customer #1: “Thank you, Ginny! I love this place. You guys are always so cute!”

Me: “Thank you!”

Regular Customer #2: “So, Fred and George helped me find this book, but I need to order another one. Should I see Harry Potter or Draco Malfoy about that?”

New Coworker: *to Regular Customer #2* “What the h***?! That isn’t anyone’s name that works here. Are all your customers r******d or something?!”

Me: *to Regular Customer #2* “Draco will be more than happy to help you.” *to  New Coworker* “It’s just some Halloween fun… No need to be rude to our customers.” *to Regular Customer #2* “I’m sorry about that.”

New Coworker: “That’s dumb. This is the worst job I’ve ever had!”

Me: “This is the only job you’ve ever had.”

Regular Customer #2: *to New Coworker* “You were that girl who was dressed totally inappropriately, right?”

New Coworker: “You can’t talk to me like that!”

Brother #1: “Sure she can. Ma’am, I’ll be happy to escort you over to Mister Malfoy.”

New Coworker: “You people are a joke! You just can’t stand that I’m working here!”

Me: “What?!”

New Coworker: “It’s because I’m so pretty, isn’t it?! It’s because I’m blond and pretty!”

(Note: Regular Customer #3 is a young, college-aged guy who comes in a couple times a week.)

Regular Customer #3: *to New Coworker* “Hey, could you maybe get out of the way so I can actually buy these books and talk to the lovely little redhead there? You’re just kind of taking up space.”

New Coworker: “I am not!”

Regular Customer #3: “Uh huh…” *to me* “So, Ginny, wanna go out with me tonight? There’s this party and I was hoping maybe you’d go with me.”

New Coworker: “What?! You’re seriously asking HER?! But I’m BLOND and PRETTY!”

Regular Customer #3: “…and rude. Let’s not forget rude. Now, please, I’m trying to have a conversation here.”

New Coworker: “Oh, my God, I quit! This place is awful! NO ONE APPRECIATES ME!”

(She runs out of the store, throwing her name tag at me in the process.)

Brother #2: “Harry Potter’s scar no longer burns… The evil one, she has been defeated.”

Regular Customer #3: “Well, at least she’s gone. I was serious about that party, though.”

(We’ve been dating ever since!)

1 Thumbs
3,867

South Of South End

, , , , , | Working | June 12, 2012

(I’m Australian and have an accent.)

Coworker: “You sound funny. Where are you from? Boston?”

Me: “Australia.”

Coworker: “Really? You still live there?”

(I think my coworker is just trying to be funny, so I play along.)

Me: “Yup! It’s such a long drive for work every day.”

Coworker: “Oh my God, I bet! What time do you have to leave home to get here on time?”

(I still carry on with the joke, but I’m starting to suspect she may actually be serious.)

Me: “Oh, it’s not too bad. Only takes a couple of hours.”

Coworker: “How awesome! You SO have to have a barbecue one day! I have always wanted to go to Australia!” *walks off*


This story is part of our “Where are you from?” roundup!

Read the next “Where are you from?” roundup story!

Read the “Where are you from?” roundup!

1 Thumbs
998

Domestically Dimwitted

, , , , | Right | December 14, 2009

(Our store is famous for our women’s scents. I see a male customer looking uncomfortable.)

Customer: “Uh, miss? Can you help me?”

Me: “Of course. Who is it that you are shopping for today?”

Customer: “Well, we had a Secret Santa thing at the office, and I got this guy… um… he’s the kind of person with a domestic partner.”

Me: “Oh! I gotcha! We’ve got some great pre-made gift sets in the men’s department. There’s a wonderful shaving set and body washes, too.”

(I lead him to the men’s section. On the way, the customer sees a flowery red and pink gift box with one of our most popular woman’s fragrances inside.)

Customer: “What about this one? These are on sale, right?”

Me: “Well, yes, but that’s really a more feminine fragrance, a strong floral. Let me show you–”

Customer: “No, no, no. DO-MES-TIC PART-NER. I really think he’ll like this one better. You know, cause he’s… well, you know…”

Me: “Sir, we could set up a gift card for you. That way, he can pick out his own body care since you are unsure.”

Customer: “I don’t think you understand me. He’s… the guy is gay. I’ll take this one.”

(To the unfortunate gift recipient: I am so terribly sorry! I’ll be thinking of you this Christmas!)


Did you find this story using our Harvey Milk Day roundup?

Click here to get back to it!

Click here to see the next story!

1 Thumbs
5,380

Lowest Common Denominator: Found

, , , | Working | March 20, 2009

(This exchange happened between two coworkers.)

Waitress: “I need a fourth of a chicken to go, please.”

Cook: “Okay, a quarter chicken it is!”

Waitress: “NO! I ASKED FOR A FOURTH!”

Cook: “A quarter and a fourth are the same thing.”

Waitress: “Oh… is there another word for a half?”

1 Thumbs
2,247

Everyone’s A Wiseguy

, , , , , | Right | June 18, 2008

(Our store is located in a one-level strip mall.)

Customer: “Do you carry lawnmowers?”

Customer Service Rep: “Just one second and let me find out for you…” *parks call* “Hey guys, do we carry lawnmowers?”

Salesman #1: “Yeah, they’re down in the basement.”

Salesman #2: “No, I saw them back by the overstock shelves.”

Salesman #3: “No, I moved them into the attic for storage last week.”

Salesman #4: “OOH! I know! They’re four walls down, under a big orange sign that says ‘Home Depot!'”

Customer Service Rep: *picks call back up* “No, sir, I’m sorry, but we’re an electronics store.”

1 Thumbs
2,275