She’ll Have Nonna His Lip

, , , | Working | March 18, 2013

(We have a kiosk in the back of the store that allows customers to shop and order online items. There is an elderly customer with her young granddaughter trying to work the system. I’m working on the computer attempting to fix a glitch, while my new coworker stands there doing nothing. He looks at the elderly customer and says…)

Coworker: “Aw, geez, that’s going to take forever!”

Me: “You could, you know… help her? It’s kinda what we’re here for.”

Coworker:  “Seriously? We have to help old hags figure out how to use an Internet browser? That wasn’t in MY job description!”

(The elderly woman hears my new coworker and flinches at his rude comments. As it isn’t busy, I go over and help her. Over the next half hour, I help her find what she wants and purchase it, while her young granddaughter shows amazing patience for a child her age.)

Me: “Well, ma’am, everything seems to be in order! Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

Customer: “Oh, no, my dear! You’ve been amazing! Thank you so much!”

(To my astonishment, the customer’s young grandaughter wraps her arms around my leg and hugs it tightly.)

Granddaughter: *to me* “You’re a very very nice people. No one helped my Nonna like that today. Nonna said nice peoples need hugs!”

(I’m left speechless.The granddaughter then lets go of my leg, walks up to my coworker, and suddenly kicks him HARD in the shin.)

Coworker: “OW! What was that for?!”

Granddaughter: “You’re a mean people. Nonna says mean peoples don’t need hugs!”

Customer: *beaming* “There’s a good girl!”

(The two of them left, giving me their thanks while my new coworker glowered at me. That moment made my year!)

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What The Sell Is Her Problem

, , , | Working | January 3, 2013

(This is my second weekend working the races and selling tickets. I’m helping a gentleman find the restrooms with the racetrack’s booklet map, which I’ve been handing out to visitors.)

Coworker: “Don’t do that.”

Me: “…Excuse me?”

Coworker: “You’re not supposed to actually help people, just sell them s***.”

(I ignore my coworker and finish helping the gentleman.)

Me: “Is there anything else you need help with, sir?”

Gentleman: “Don’t let this old crow tell you how to do your job, sweetheart. You’re doing a great job!” *leaves*

Coworker: “You’re just supposed to sell them s***, not actually help!”

 

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Banishing Bellatrix

, | Working | June 18, 2012

(My parents own a small bookstore. Being all fair-skinned redheads, it was only logical on Halloween that my three older brothers and I dress as the Weasleys from Harry Potter. Two other coworkers get into the spirit and dress as Harry and Draco. The newest coworker is a girl who isn’t really working out. She’s dressed in an overly-revealing princess costume, so we’ve asked her to change, which she complains about.)

Me: *to customer* “Thank you! Happy Halloween and come again!”

Regular Customer #1: “Thank you, Ginny! I love this place. You guys are always so cute!”

Me: “Thank you!”

Regular Customer #2: “So, Fred and George helped me find this book, but I need to order another one. Should I see Harry Potter or Draco Malfoy about that?”

New Coworker: *to Regular Customer #2* “What the h***?! That isn’t anyone’s name that works here. Are all your customers r******d or something?!”

Me: *to Regular Customer #2* “Draco will be more than happy to help you.” *to  New Coworker* “It’s just some Halloween fun… No need to be rude to our customers.” *to Regular Customer #2* “I’m sorry about that.”

New Coworker: “That’s dumb. This is the worst job I’ve ever had!”

Me: “This is the only job you’ve ever had.”

Regular Customer #2: *to New Coworker* “You were that girl who was dressed totally inappropriately, right?”

New Coworker: “You can’t talk to me like that!”

Brother #1: “Sure she can. Ma’am, I’ll be happy to escort you over to Mister Malfoy.”

New Coworker: “You people are a joke! You just can’t stand that I’m working here!”

Me: “What?!”

New Coworker: “It’s because I’m so pretty, isn’t it?! It’s because I’m blond and pretty!”

(Note: Regular Customer #3 is a young, college-aged guy who comes in a couple times a week.)

Regular Customer #3: *to New Coworker* “Hey, could you maybe get out of the way so I can actually buy these books and talk to the lovely little redhead there? You’re just kind of taking up space.”

New Coworker: “I am not!”

Regular Customer #3: “Uh huh…” *to me* “So, Ginny, wanna go out with me tonight? There’s this party and I was hoping maybe you’d go with me.”

New Coworker: “What?! You’re seriously asking HER?! But I’m BLOND and PRETTY!”

Regular Customer #3: “…and rude. Let’s not forget rude. Now, please, I’m trying to have a conversation here.”

New Coworker: “Oh, my God, I quit! This place is awful! NO ONE APPRECIATES ME!”

(She runs out of the store, throwing her name tag at me in the process.)

Brother #2: “Harry Potter’s scar no longer burns… The evil one, she has been defeated.”

Regular Customer #3: “Well, at least she’s gone. I was serious about that party, though.”

(We’ve been dating ever since!)

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Domestically Dimwitted

, , , , | Right | December 14, 2009

(Our store is famous for our women’s scents. I see a male customer looking uncomfortable.)

Customer: “Uh, miss? Can you help me?”

Me: “Of course. Who is it that you are shopping for today?”

Customer: “Well, we had a Secret Santa thing at the office, and I got this guy… um… he’s the kind of person with a domestic partner.”

Me: “Oh! I gotcha! We’ve got some great pre-made gift sets in the men’s department. There’s a wonderful shaving set and body washes, too.”

(I lead him to the men’s section. On the way, the customer sees a flowery red and pink gift box with one of our most popular woman’s fragrances inside.)

Customer: “What about this one? These are on sale, right?”

Me: “Well, yes, but that’s really a more feminine fragrance, a strong floral. Let me show you–”

Customer: “No, no, no. DO-MES-TIC PART-NER. I really think he’ll like this one better. You know, cause he’s… well, you know…”

Me: “Sir, we could set up a gift card for you. That way, he can pick out his own body care since you are unsure.”

Customer: “I don’t think you understand me. He’s… the guy is gay. I’ll take this one.”

(To the unfortunate gift recipient: I am so terribly sorry! I’ll be thinking of you this Christmas!)

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