This Pot Is Handed Down From Generation To Generation

, , , | Working | March 12, 2018

(I’m talking to [Coworker #1] about a recent road trip I took, and [Coworker #2] walks by mid-conversation. My coworkers tend to see me as a goody two-shoes, mostly because I can’t drink due to a medical condition.)

Me: “So, when I stopped, the pot fell out of the back of my car, and—”

Coworker #2: “Whoa, whoa, whoa! What?”

Me: *realizing how that sounded* “Oh! No, it was my grandma’s pot.”

Coworker #2: *gaping in shock*

Me: “I’m really not making this any better, am I?”

Coworker #1: “No, you’re not, honey.”

Me: “What I meant to say was that the hand-me-down saucepan from my grandma fell out of the back of my trunk, because things shifted around during the drive, and it broke.”

Coworker #2: “Oh, that makes so much more sense! I can’t even imagine you smoking pot.”

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How To Avoid Your Manager

, , , , , | Working | March 12, 2018

(I am working next to my coworker in the mens’ department, restocking. Her phone begins to vibrate, so she ducks into the restroom to see who it is.)

Manager: “Hi, [Coworker], this is [Manager] calling. Did you know you were scheduled to be in at 10:00 am today? It’s 10:45.”

Coworker: “Um… I’m here. I’m in mens’.”

Manager: “Oh, wow. I didn’t see you come in!”

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Acting Like A Baby

, , , , , | Working | March 9, 2018

(One of my coworkers, [Coworker #1], has had to go home. She walks past us in tears.)

Coworker #2: “I’m going to run after [Coworker #1] to make sure she’s okay.”

([Coworker #2] is back a few minutes later. She doesn’t look worried; in fact, she just rolls her eyes and shakes her head.)

Me: “What was wrong?”

Coworker #2: “Remember when [Coworker #1] told us that she and [Husband] had decided to start trying for a baby, so she was going to stop taking the pill?”

Me: “Yes, it was just a few days ago.”

Coworker #2: “Well, she got her period today and is now upset because she didn’t fall pregnant right away.”

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Delete The Chat, But Not The Memory

, , , , , | Working | March 9, 2018

Some of us at work have a WhatsApp group. One colleague who was just coming to work started sending laughing emojis before saying that what he was sharing was too hilarious not to share. Then followed a series of photos of an elderly woman on a bus, whose skirt was ruffled up, exposing her underwear, which had a prominent stain. Most of us were together at the front, tidying the store before opening. One manager, who was also in the group, went pale at the photos, and finished work early.

We were all a bit confused and found the photos awkward to look at, so the admin removed us all and deleted the group. Since the chat was technically outside work, the colleague couldn’t get in trouble for it. It did make working with her rather awkward, though.

As for the manager who left, we later found out that the elderly woman was his aunt who had Alzheimer’s and had been missing for two days. Although he was thankful that she was found, it made working with the colleague and the manager even more awkward. The manager eventually took leave to care for his aunt.

What makes it worse for me is, I found the colleague the other day laughing at something on her phone. She noticed and showed me. It was the same photos she had shared on WhatsApp.

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Super-Starving For Attention

, , , , | Working | March 9, 2018

(I’m a woman in electronic manufacturing, working with almost all men, and we share a pretty relaxed environment. While working, I accidentally drop a metal piece with a loud clang.)

Coworker #1: “You okay over there?”

Me: “Oh, I’m fine. Thanks.”

Coworker #2: “Not feeling like you’re getting enough attention, or something?”

Me: *deadpan* “Nah, I’m wearing new earrings and felt like everyone should come look. I’m feeling pretty superstar.”

Coworker #1: “Oh, I understand. I feel that way when I’m wearing new earrings, too.”

Coworker #2: “I feel pretty superstar every time I wear pants out of the house!”

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