It’s A Race To The Top

, , , , , | Working | May 17, 2018

(I am working on the tills as a cashier, while one of my coworkers has just gone up to being a manager, despite the fact that I have been here four years and she has been here two and a half. I talk to her during break.)

Me: “How come you got the job? I’m not complaining; I’m just confused.”

Coworker: *smirking* “Well, it was between [Other Coworker] and me and we did… I guess roughly the same in our areas, but I wanted the job, so I told [Manager] that she called me a [racial slur].”

Me: “You can’t do that! You could seriously have ruined her job here!”

Coworker: *nearly laughing from spluttering* “So what? You can try it, as well. Just say that a coworker you don’t like — maybe [White Coworker #1] or [White Coworker #2] — called you a [racial slur] and the management will have them demoted.”

Me: “But it’s wrong! You can’t do that! And I don’t even have anything against those coworkers.”

Coworker: “I can and I will. And do you know why? Because we’re [race], and they’re too scared to fire us.”

(She got fired, surprisingly enough.)

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I Swear They Couldn’t Hear Me

, , , , | Working | May 16, 2018

(I work in a call centre, handling insurance sales and service. It’s a quiet day, and a coworker and my boss are standing directly behind me, talking loudly about awkward customers. I am sitting with my headset on, but just doing paperwork whilst they speak. My boss describes a customer he’s taken a complaint from as a “Right c*** of a customer!” Sick of him and my coworker using my working space to chat instead of getting on with their work, I quickly and hurriedly started apologising about the language used by my coworker to a “horrified customer.” My boss and my coworker fall silent as I feign trying to calm a seriously offended caller. After a few seconds, I take my headset off and turn around.)

Me: “If that had been a real customer, [Department Head] would have had you both sacked for that.”

Boss: *still rather pale* “You… weren’t on a call?”

Me: “No, but our microphones are awfully sensitive. Bear that in mind before complaining loudly about customers on the work floor.”

(Both my boss and my coworker slunk off back to their desks and I got on with my paperwork.)


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The Darkest Cloud On This Day Is You

, , , , | Working | May 16, 2018

(I work for a real estate office. I am getting ready to take time off for my wedding, so I have notified all the agents that I will be unavailable, and told them the reason why. I get a few kind words and wishes throughout the week as people see me, and then there is this interaction. I will also add that, throughout this whole conversation, the agent remains completely deadpan.)

Agent: *approaches me* “I believe congratulations are in order.”

Me: “Thank you!”

Agent: “Is it an outdoor wedding?”

Me: “Yes, it is outdoors, so we have been keeping an eye on the weather, but it looks like it should be a clear day.”

Agent: “Oh, you’ll have plenty of cloudy days ahead. Don’t you worry.”

(With that, she left.)

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Not So Mellow Yellow

, , , , , | Working | May 15, 2018

(My department cooks our own rotisserie turkeys, which we then chill down and slice for customers. Usually, we only have plain ones, but recently we’ve gotten some new lemon pepper seasoning so we can have a new flavor of turkeys. After my first time slicing one, I notice that the slicer, and my gloves, have turned bright yellow.)

Me: “Ugh, look at this s***! There’s yellow all over everything!”

Coworker: “It looks like you just murdered Homer Simpson, dude.”

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Doesn’t Know What The Truck He’s Talking About

, , , , , | Working | May 15, 2018

(I receive a call from a truck driver asking for directions. There are two exits from the interstate, both clearly marked as to which direction they go. The first exit goes west, and the one he should take goes east and exits two miles further down the road. I’ve given the same directions many times, and the occasional driver will take the first exit and head the wrong way, so I always reiterate that the correct turn will be the second. Later, the driver checks in but is highly upset. When asked what the problem is, he says he got an expensive ticket for driving off the truck route, and he expects reimbursement for his trouble. I’m not the one checking him in, but I can hear him and my coworker from where I am, around a corner and not immediately visible from the driver’s entrance.)

Coworker: “I’m sorry you received the ticket, but why do you think we should pay for it?”

Driver: “I called for directions and the broad I talked to told me wrong. I took the exit she said, and the highway went west. I knew I needed to go east so I went east. The road took me into downtown, and next thing you know I was pulled over and given the d*** ticket!”

Coworker: “Hey, [My Name], did you talk to the driver from [Company]?”

Me: *rounding the corner* “Yes, I did, and I reiterated with him, and asked for his understanding, that he was not to take the exit for [First Exit] but continue on the interstate to the exit for [Second Exit]. If he took the wrong exit, then willingly ignored the, ‘no trucks,’ signs and turned east, anyway, it’s his own doing.”

Coworker: “Does that sound right, [Truck Driver]?”

Driver: “Maybe. But she’s a girl; what does she know?”

Coworker: “She knows that you don’t take the [First Exit] to go east, and she knows that you don’t ignore the, ‘no trucks,’ signs when you are given perfectly good directions to keep you on the truck route! Now, back your rig into dock two, and [My Name] will get you unloaded.”

Driver: “What about the ticket?”

Me: “What about it? Consider it a costly lesson in following directions!”

Driver: *addressing coworker* “Are you going to let her get away with that?”

Coworker: “Are you going to get the trailer unloaded, or would you rather you be refused and have us call your company to tell them why?”

(The driver backed into the dock, and when he returned, he refused to even look at me the entire time I was unloading the trailer. After I signed off on his paperwork and he was leaving, he commented again about me being “a girl,” and that I shouldn’t be allowed to give directions or unload trucks. My coworker called his company to report his behavior and, although the trucking company continues to make frequent deliveries to the store, we’ve never seen that driver again.)

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