Doesn’t Sound A-Peeling

, , , , , | Working | August 14, 2017

(A coworker and I are at our respective desks next to each other working. He looks at his hand.)

Coworker: “That’s weird. It’s like my hand…” *something I can’t quite make out*

Me: “Wait… WHAT?”

Coworker: “It’s peeling.” *he shows me where skin is flaking off the palm of his hand*

Me: “Okay, that’s way better than what I thought you said. I missed the ‘-ling’ and just heard ‘pee.'”

Coworker: *laughs*

Me: “I was thinking, ‘Dude, I know we work closely together but I don’t need to know about your pee hands.'”

Coworker: “Don’t worry. I do not have pee hands.”

Me: “I would hope not! But if you ever do, please don’t touch my keyboard.”

He Must Get Emailed Lots Of Interesting Questions

, , , , | Working | August 11, 2017

At my workplace, our email addresses are automatically generated by using the first three letters of one’s last name, followed by first two letters of the first name.

I have a coworker named Edward Sexton. His email is [email protected](business).com. The company refuses to allow him to change it.

This Just Isn’t Coworking

, , , , , , | Working | August 9, 2017

(I’ve recently quit one retail job, for a better one with more hours and more pay thankfully, due to having several problems with the job. One of the major problems was that on weekends multiple coworkers were there to back me up if there was a line, and one coworker in particular ignored the customers. She would just talk to her friends that worked there, making a lot of the other cashiers upset. I’m working with her one Saturday afternoon, when I get a line of seven or eight customers. I call her over.)

Me: “Hey, [Coworker], I have a line here; can you help me out?”

Coworker: *ignores me, continues to talk to friend in nearby sales section*

Me: *to Supervisor* “Hey [Supervisor], can you call over [Coworker] to come help me out here? I just got two more people.”

Supervisor: “You know she won’t. It’s cool. I’ll help you out.”

(After patiently waiting a few minutes, I excuse myself while a customer digs through her purse to find her credit card.)

Me: *to Coworker* “EXCUSE ME! Can you please help me with the line and talk to your friend later? I’ve got ten people in line right now!”

Coworker: “Don’t talk to me like that! I’m your superior, and I will report you to management for being rude to me!”

Me: “You’re kidding, right? You’re not my superior, and you do realize there are security cameras in this store, right?”

Coworker: “Well…”

Me: “You were hired to be a cashier, right? You’re here working today, right? Help me out or just go home!”

Coworker: “Fine, but don’t expect me to help you out like this again!”

Me: “I expect you to help me every time there’s a line!”

(Coworker helped me out, with Supervisor smiling at me when I returned to ring up the rest of the customers in my line. Clearly she heard everything I said. I later went in the back and reported what happened to the manager, so the coworker didn’t try to make me look bad, even though I kind of raised my voice at one point. The manager told me the supervisor talked to them, and I was definitely in the right, and they commended me on properly excusing myself and not just abandoning my line to go and talk to the coworker. The supervisor told me Coworker got a final warning, and that she threw a fit over being yelled at by a coworker. I wasn’t scheduled with her after that, and I started my new job two weeks after. I’ve never been happier!)

Getting A Leg Up On The Obvious

, , , , | Working | June 30, 2017

Coworker: “Did you know [Other Coworker] has an artificial leg?!”

Me: “Yeah, I knew that.”

Coworker: “Do you know why?”

Me: “Because he was missing one?”

Worth Dipping Into Your Slush(ie) Fund For

, , , , , | Working | June 30, 2017

(Our library is scheduled to be closed for a day while we do some renovations — moving shelves and furniture and doing some painting to prepare a new area. This renovations day happens to fall on my day off.)

Coworker: “Are you sad that you won’t be here to help us with stuff?”

Me: “Haha… no.”

Coworker: “I bet you have big plans for your day off, huh?”

Me: “Oh, yes. I’m going to buy me a big Slushie and come to the library, and stare through the window and watch you all work while I slowly drink it in front of you.”

Coworker: “…I hate you.”

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