The Law Doesn’t Take Breaks So You Can

, , , , , | | Legal | June 9, 2018

(I’m scheduled as a supervisor for a future evening. Anyone scheduled to work that evening that is going to be working different hours than they are scheduled needs to get my approval first. I’ve also been short-tempered lately.)

Coworker #1: “Hey, can minors work double shifts?”

Me: “Legally you can work more than four hours if there is a break between them, I believe.”

Coworker #1: “Okay, because [Coworker #2] wants me to work his afternoon shift but I’m already working the shift immediately after it.”

Me: “So it wouldn’t work without having a break in between. Why doesn’t [Coworker #2] just swap with you?”

Coworker #1: “I don’t know, but I’ll be fine. As long as I can get something to eat I think I’ll be fine.”

Me: “I didn’t ask if you’ll be fine. Frankly, I like staying out of jail far more than I care about anything to do with you.”

Coworker #1: “Well, then… sorry for giving you trouble.”

Me: “It’s the whole legal bit I was mentioning earlier.”

Fraud, Sew It Seems

, , , | | Legal | June 7, 2018

(A manager from another store has called us to arrange a transfer of some sewing machines. She said the customer needs them urgently and that she would come over to pick them up in the afternoon. We also have a visit from our national manager around the same time. He sees the transfers waiting for collection.)

National Manager: “I’m going to [Store location] in the morning. I could take those with me now.”

Me: “[Manager] is on her way to collect them now. She has customers waiting for them this afternoon.”

(Oddly, the manager arrives close to closing time to pick them up. The next morning I get a phone call from the national manager, asking if the machines had been picked up.)

Me: “Yes, late yesterday, just before we closed. I had her sign our copy of the transfer.”

National Manager: “You’re sure about that?”

Me: “Yes.”

National Manager: “Okay, thanks. I’ll have to get back to you.”

(Later I find out that the national manager had noticed that there were no machines at the other store and that none had been sold. He asked the other manager, who denied that she had picked them up. She didn’t know that he had remote access to our CCTV and it clearly showed her collecting the machines. They discovered that she had done this for other transfers at different stores as well. She would wait a few weeks and call to say the items hadn’t arrived and then have the transfer cancelled. And she had swapped the signed copy for her unsigned copy when I was helping her carry the machines out. Thank goodness for cameras; otherwise it might have been me charged with theft.)

Loose-Leaf Becomes Lose-Leaf

, , , , , | | Working | May 29, 2018

(I really enjoy drinking tea, and prefer loose-leaf tea. I keep a couple of air-tight, cylindrical containers full of tea in my office. I have just restocked one with some black tea pearls. This is tea that is compressed and shaped like little balls, which expand as they steep. I have just come back from a meeting to find a coworker in my office dumping my tea into the trash.)

Me: “What are you doing?!”

Coworker: “I was hungry, and I saw you putting snacks in your snack jar, so I ate a few, but they’re rotten. I’m throwing them out so no one else gets sick.”

Me: “Out! Get out! Don’t ever touch my things. If you’re hungry, bring your own food!”

Coworker: “I’m just doing you a favor; you could say, ‘Thank you.'”

Me: “No! You just tossed over a $100 worth of tea in the garbage!”

Coworker: “Well, it tastes awful, so you’re welcome.”

(She then flounced out, and still refuses to see that she did anything wrong. Thankfully ,my garbage was empty and just had a clean plastic bag in it, so I was able to rescue my tea. On the bright side, she now gives me, and my office, a wide berth because of my negative attitude.)

Branching Into Ridiculousness

, , , , | Working | May 13, 2018

(I’m working on a programming project with my uncle, and we’re using a program which neither of us is very familiar with. The details of how the program works aren’t important, but it involves creating and editing “branches” with different versions of a project.)

Uncle: “Were you able to make that new branch I asked you about?”

Me: “No, I got an error message saying I didn’t have permission. I think you need to invite me to join.”

Uncle: “But then you’d be able to change my branches, too, and I don’t want you to do that. Do you know how to make it so you can only edit certain branches?”

Me: “No, but I’ll research permissions and see what I find out.”

(The next day, he calls back and I walk him through protecting a branch so only he can edit it.)

Me: *after hanging up, to my stepdad* “Did he just delegate, to me, the job of protecting his branches from me?

Chronicles Of The Doughnut Police

, , , , , , | Working | April 12, 2018

(I decide to bring in some cakes for my office, as a bit of a pick-me-up for the team. We’ve all been having a rough few weeks. One downside is my coworker who always takes it upon himself to offer other peoples’ food, but not before taking his “share” to ensure that he gets his first. I have asked him not to, and he sarcastically calls me the doughnut police or similar. Today he has outdone himself; not only does he take plenty for himself, he then disappears around the company to tell everyone to go to the office to get theirs, actually taking food from the people he works with every day, to try to make himself popular. As I see him through the window, sending worker after worker up to us, I have an idea.)

Coworker: “Where’s my cakes?! I left them right here?!”

Me: “I don’t know; it was weird. A lot of people appeared from nowhere; one of them must have taken them.”

Coworker: *angry* “And you didn’t stop them?”

Me: “What do I look like? The doughnut police?”

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