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Doubly Packed But Single Minded

, , , , , | Related | September 25, 2014

(My cousin and I are getting ready to go camping together. We both have vacation plans for after camping.)

Me: “Hey, are you packed?”

Cousin: “Yeah, I’ve been packed for a while now.”

Me: “No, I mean for camping.”

Cousin: “Oh, that. No. Are you?”

Me: “No, I can’t even find my suitcase.”

Cousin: “Didn’t you tell me yesterday that you packed for your other trip?”

Me: “Yeah.”

Cousin: “Maybe that’s why you can’t find it.”


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Ghosts Of Christmas Past

, , , , | Related | December 26, 2012

(My dad, mum, two brothers, sister-in-law, niece, nephew, and for the first time my sister-in-law’s cousin are at my dad’s for Christmas Dinner. My grandfather passed away earlier in the year due to illness, and before we tuck into dinner, my dad gives a small speech about my granddad to celebrate his memory.)

Dad: “So, we hope you’re watching over us. This time last year, we were picking up the turkey you dropped when you tripped on the stairs.”

(My dad’s dining room is downstairs from the kitchen, and my granddad had indeed tripped with the turkey the previous year.)

Dad: “Thank you, Dad. Okay, who wants what?”

(We all begin helping ourselves to the various foodstuff in the middle of the table: turkey, mashed and roast potatoes, sprouts, etc. All except my sister-in-law’s cousin, who is looking rather pale and staring down at the table.)

Me: “It’s okay, Granddad didn’t die falling down the stairs last Christmas.”

Cousin: *instantly perks up* “Oh, thank God. For a moment, I thought that was how he’d gone.”


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When Santa’s On His Sleigh, The Mice Come Out To Play

, , , | Related | December 25, 2012

(My family is celebrating Christmas Eve. My two little cousins, six and eight, are having a dispute, and my uncle tries to rebuke them.)

Uncle: “Girls, play nice. Remember, Santa’s watching!”

Six-Year-Old: *without skipping a beat* “He’s not watching anymore. He’s already delivering!”


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